Purpose for a faliure.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is an essay i wrote for a midterm final, i got so many negative remarks that i thought for sure i was gonna fail, but in fact my instructor passed me only because it "was the only thing that made me laugh in a good 10 years."

Submitted: February 09, 2009

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Submitted: February 09, 2009

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Theres skelton in his closet. But not to that extent. He has baggage that he left, unclaimed at the door. Its better that way, its not like a carbon dioxide leak is seeping through out your house and into your lungs poisoning your brain and causing your eyes to turn green into yellow into black from the inside out. Disgusting I know, but is it true? Do you wanna find out? Well his closet, his skeltons, his miseries get all tied up into one night of drinking, one run in with an old friend he might call it. All of it unburried and brought back onto the table. He can either take it or leave it. But since he is nice and the night is young, and happy hour with half off coors doesn’t help much he decides to stay. 

My beer cozy, is blue. See not every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. But you could sit there and be like, but im not in the bar with him? Well, can you honestly believe that hed lie about his beer cozy. Well if it makes you feel any better…. You were lied to right in front of your face. Through your eyes. You took his word, that his beer cozy is blue, but it wasn’t, it was black, with white writing, a fishing experience that he went on in 96’. Exciting. "It hurts", she exclaims in her glass of jack and coke. "It hurts. Your life, your way of doing everything seemed as if it was an excuse for your real intentions. Every real intention." What were your real intentions? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t really care. He keeps calling and calling the bar keep to turn up the tv. He wants to see Boston play. He needs to see if Rameriez can get him lucky tonight. Funny, a man, a baseball player, getting another man lucky. I would bet against myself personally. But then that could just be me lying to myself again. Well, he cant get the bar keeps attention so he looks her in the eye. And says one word. One simple word that means everything but nothing. "What?" Imagine the options with that word. What. What a good word. She freaks out. Takes another sip, breathes back as if it hurts real bad and says"..crap." she tries to start again, but he interjects, "Intentions, something about me, you, you, me? Got it. Ok listen babe", He says, "Listen hard and listen good...." She interupts and says "I don’t understand how I would personally listen hard..." , he interupts her this time and says, "ssssshhh bitch, quite time now. Its me time. Now shut up. Ok my intentions was to get you into bed. Which I did. Can this bar keep turn this fucking tv up?" Wow, you might say, what a sinker. Good line there. Hes a genuis. A pure fucking genuis. She gasps. Oh god she thinks. "Wait…Ive been thinking the same thing though, so how can I get angry and turn it on him? I don’t want anything to do with him. He doesn’t even have a nice car. Acura. Fuck acura. What is an acura anyways. Toyota is at least a fucking samari or something. Wait. Back to him- 'You mother fucker!' "she exclaims "I fucking knew it!" "Well", he thinks aloud. "Well, it was like four fucking months ago, you could give it a break here and let me watch the game. That would be nice wouldn’t it? Now shut the fuck up, blow me and let me watch the game". He's great with the ladies. At first. Then he has a homing device that goes off and tells him to not stay with her. He'll do anything. Shove pop tarts in the VCR, piss in the plants, not make ice, put colors in with the whites, punt the dog in front of the inlaws, give little children cigarrettes and booze. Good stuff. Nice guy - really. He has a way of self destruction when things get good. When he finds out that she likes giving head, when he actually likes spending time with her, when he looks through his texts and all of them are from her. He likes it. But he doesn’t. he hates the fact of being owned. Being told what to do. The best thing, is not having to deal with it. "She likes giving head, but my hand is always down for the job, never gives up and isnt afraid to do it in a movie theatre. She is. Good enough reason". And theyre done. Like that. Now these skeltons are more like this event. How he cant hold a relationship. How he can lie to himself to make himself feel better. How he can turn a normal event into a lie and then get in trouble with the lie then fix the lie with another lie. That’s what he can do. These skeltons are more like battle marks that you don’t want to show cause theyre that fucking ugly. Like grandmas jaguar tattoo she got on her back in 1935 and now it looks like a big black placemat stuck from her shoulder blades to her ass line. So he decided to sit at a bar, forget the skeltons, and watch games that he bet enough to fix the AC, radio, and brakes in his jeep. But instead he'd rather spend his money elsewhere. Who needs breaks really? Then she walks in and the closet door opens up. He cant be himself for a second, and he has to start lying to himself and her. Covering more and more lies with lies. A pile of lies. Sexy - if it was chicks, that’s how much it would. Disgusting - if it were midgets, that’s how many there are. Horrifying - if it was old people in ranch dressing spanking eachother screaming lousiana at the top of their lungs. I say that nonchalant but you havent seen it yet. Ask a NAM veteran what a burn victim looks like, make a popping sound with your lips and see him turn a table on its side and fight off infadels that could very be your loved ones. Scary. That’s how it is. But this skelton slowly seeps out of his closet. Down his hallway, out into his driveway, where he parks his jeep, the skelton leaves, not saying good bye, because hes drinking, in a bar, hoping to god boston wins. This skeltons moves on, and his horrors go away, he seems to not hit the self destruct button so much, and he put down the inlaws dog. No punting today. With the skelton gone…he finds an easier light, where he doesn’t need to lie to himself. He can start over. If given the chance.


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