The Importance Of Identity

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
We all go through stages in our lives where we lose of confuse our identity, we go on a journey to find out who we truly are. This is just the story of a girl on a journey to find herself or does her true identity find her first?

Submitted: February 27, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 27, 2013



I awake at 2:30 in the morning, my window is wide open, the curtains are pushing up against the wall, and Goose bumps slowly start to appear on my body. The cold night air takes my breath away. I wonder; who has come to pay me a chilling visit? The wind stops blowing and the room goes quiet, there is no sound of life form in the room. You couldn’t imagine the things running through my head at this moment. As my heart starts racing, I can feel the blood rushing through my body; my veins push towards my skin, and the hair on the back of my neck and on my arms, stand to attention. Suddenly a pair of brightly lit green eyes meet mine, I reach for the light but the power is out. The sound of purring puts down my alarm, it was just Button. He had come to give me a kiss; for he knew I was awake and he wanted my attention.

I’m lost in the touch of button’s soft, silky white fur and the warmth of his stunning pink nose. My mind has been left to drift away putting down my guard and focusing on the bundle of white fluff sitting on my lap. I didn’t even stop to think why the power was out and why my window had been left wide open, when it was shut before I’d set to rest. The wind starts to roar again, it’s violent and restless. The curtains begin to violently sway and slap against the walls. All of a sudden a chilling voice calls out to me from the corner of my room but I can't see anyone. I’m suddenly lifted from my warm sheets, my eyes search desperately hoping to find out who the culprit of this chilling crime is. I’m thrown into a black hole which is left forever spiraling downwards. There is a strange chanting running in my head. I feel I know the man’s voice from somewhere but I can’t quite put my finger on it. The words run deeper into my mind, words that have been lodged into my memory; words that speak...

“Poppy Fey, Poppy Fey. Will you stay and will you play?”

A quick chill is sent down my spine. Who is this ghastly spirit? And what does he want with me? As I’m left to fall even deeper into darkness, I see moments of my life suddenly flash by me. They weren’t the happy times, nor were they the sad times, but they were the times where I had felt so hopeless and I had done the most horrible things, the things that had scarred me for life. Somehow this spirit wanted me to re-discover my past and torture me with it, the frightful nights of being alone, the blood that was left to pour out of my body, and the girl; the girl who was neither dead or alive, the girl who sat there and watched me, as I tried so hard to take my life.

I see a light at the end of the spiraling tunnel, it’s the end of the journey; but I can’t help but feel there is another journey waiting for me. I’m sent hurling onto the wet, cold and muddy ground; there are trees that date years back, huge weeping willows and trees with damp branches supplied with crusty leaves that contain the stench of a thousand tormented corpses. The smell is dreadful and I can’t stand another minute in this place. There is an old rusty gate, with a number of dead crows caught up in the barbed wire that sits on top. There are leaves left to roam the place and the sound of moaning and groaning is at my feet. I search violently for an exit, or some sign of civilization; but there is nothing, this completes my sense of being alone. The only light to be found are the thin beams of the moons glittery shine, peering through the small gaps that the trees had left open.  

I start to panic; I rummage around in the dirty leaves and animal droppings desperately trying to find a way out. I’m having no luck, as I run out of ideas of what to do next; I sharply turn my head after hearing the not so friendly screech of a night owl. My eyes wander in different directions; and I suddenly find myself starring at the ruins of a magnificent castle. As I drag my feet along the ground to get a closer look it comes to my attention that the owl is watching my every move. Much like how a lion’s eyes stalk its prey; I’m anxious to see the owl’s next move, as I slowly lift up my foot and place it gently on the misty ground. The sound of a snapped twig alarms the owl, he swoops at my head twice; missing both times, his screech is deadly to my ears. I need to plan out my next move and fast, the screeching of the night owl has a painful effect on me, and I must be careful not to alarm him more.

I start to run, my heart is racing; I can’t run at my normal speed. Something is stopping me, it feels like I’m trying to swim through a pool of jelly; I’m getting somewhere, but a lot slower than I normally would. As I attempt to speed off, I trip on something small; it was as if the object was meant to be there, to help me with this killer owl. My eyes attracted to the object as if it was a magnet and my eyes were balls of metal. To my amazement it was a dead mouse, I quickly grabbed it and hurled it into the air; using all my strength.
Luckily the owl caught it in his mouth, and flew off with a violent pose. I slowly rose from the misty ground I’d been left to lie on. I hear the chilling voice again and the shivers start to climb up my spine. Leaving me to scream on the cold, damp mud; it’s running through my head over and over. Why won’t it stop? Why does the spirit keep asking me this? I can’t think what he wants me to do with these words. He sounds like a creature of the night, his voice is a sound from the past. The place where I’ve been sent is cold, and my skin seems a lot paler. Could it be that the creature that has abandoned me here is something that's not human?

“Poppy Fey, Poppy Fey. Will you stay and will you play?”

These words have been set to feast on me, they enter my ears and pour out of my nostrils. As I try my hardest to scream, I notice that nothing is leaving my mouth, only the foggy white mist that consumes my body from inside out. I’m cold and the Goose bumps start to re appear; I have a long journey in front of me. It’s time to deal with whatever is happening and start walking the path that could lead me to either my death, or how life used to be.

As I find appliances that could be helpful whilst I’m on my journey, a lot of questions enter my mind. As if I had been stripped of my memory. Who am I? Where did I come from? What is my name? Am I taking the role of someone else? Am I really me? Or am I just a fake? As I sit here alone, cold, hungry and confused; I try to find the answers to these many questions. It seems like I have suddenly lost everything, the spirit has stolen my identity and won’t tell me what I must do in order to retrieve it. I look again into the far distance, and I see that where I am heading there is a very thin streak of a bright light, I must embark on my journey and get there before the light turns out. I fear that once the light shines out, I will lose my identity for ever and there will be nothing left of me. I think this spirit wants the light to go out before I get to it, I feel that the spirit wants me to become one of his species, but I don’t understand why. Whatever dreams this spirit has I will play no part in making them come true. I refuse to be part of his work; only I feel I’m too weak to fight for my rights.  

I look up into the sky; I see there is a full moon; I can’t keep my glistening eyes away from it. The beauty of the moon has a strong possessing power that sends me to sleep almost every time I set my eyes upon it. I start to walk, I can’t help but think about the terrifying start I had in this place; and if that what just the beginning of my journey, then what will the rest of it be like. There’s a feeling inside of me, it’s a number of mixed emotions; no matter how dangerous this adventure will be I can’t help but feel completely excited, yet petrified at the same time. With every breath I take I tremble at my feet.

There is a long path; the concrete is a faded red which now shows to be brown. As I walk along with my eyes wide open watching every single movement of leaves falling off of trees and rats scampering in the darkness; I hear names being called by a familiar female voice. I know this girl; why is she calling these names? Is she trying to help me remember my name? Was she once someone like me, who was taken in the middle of the night by a blood thirsty ghoul? Does she want to help me?

Out of the darkness a bright shadow appears. I see the girls face pushing closer towards mine, I’m scared but I don’t run; I stay there calmly waiting for the girl to approach me. I recognize her as she grabs my hand, she silently whispers

“don’t let go.”

I chose to obey her command. I’m taken back to my apartment, I look at the time it’s 11:00pm. I check the calendar for a date; it’s the 14th of February 2008. Valentine’s Day; I can’t believe it, she has taken me back 2 years; I look around anxiously to see where she is. I can’t find her, I soon realise there is a numbing feeling in my arm, and the touch of liquid sliding gently down my wrist. I lift up my arm and... It can’t be; She had taken me back to my depressing days; why? I thought she was helping me.
I turn to find something to cover this deep cut, as I do so; I see her pale skin in the mirror on the wall, I turn to her direction and I saw her. There she was with her beautiful wavy, long, black hair; her soft, gentle skin. The terror in her eyes and the look of pain in her facial expression, her mouth was left open and her eyes left forever dark and large. I know who she is now, I remember her chilling face. She is the girl who sat there watching me try to commit suicide. Why is she with me while I’m walking this terrifying journey? Does she have something to do with my identity?

I’m suddenly shot back to the dark, gloomy place where I left off. I can hear the sound of crows, and a cat suffering in the wind. My tongue numbs, I get the lump in my throat; I also start to sweat. I know that meow from anywhere, it sounded just like Button. What is he doing with my cat? It was then that I started to walk faster, and I wouldn’t let anything get in my way. I was determined to get my pet and banish that tortured soul from my life forever. I was almost at the first hill, at the top of this hill was one single lamp post; there was a sign that hung from the arm of it. I ran to the top of the hill, putting all of my strength into my legs. There was a lantern next to the lamp post; lying next to it was a box of matches and a candle. I grabbed the lantern and gently placed the candle inside of it, there was only one match in the match box. I either got the candle to light the first time or I was left to complete the journey in darkness. Once I managed to light the lantern, I shone it onto the sign; the sign read ‘Felville’ I didn’t know what to do next. Do I dare take another step forwards? What will I become or what will happen once I pass over to Felville?

I took in a big breath and placed my foot forwards. I was in Felville; I could see the next town that awaited my company. Each town seemed gloomier than the last; all were dull and smelt like corpses. As I kept walking I slowly paced my steps, looking from left to right as I took one more step forward. It went silent, and it was too quiet I stepped back checking before each step as I didn’t want to fall into any traps. I felt the cold grip of someone’s hand on mine; I screamed and sharply turned my head. It was the girl; she raised her index finger to her lip and whispered


She then pointed to the ghastly figure standing by the lamp post which was a good three meters away from where I was standing. She showed me that he was watching me; stalking me with his eyes just as the owl did. She forced me forward and before I knew it I was running. She made me run helping me up when I slipped; she was protecting me. I heard a gruesome cry in the distance, I turned my head and the figure was gone. Everything was too fast; I couldn’t keep up with what was happening.

I suddenly appeared in my childhood home, this is where it all started. I was in my bedroom; my door creaked open, I started panicking and my emotions were going wild. No matter how hard I tried to resist, the flashback just kept getting more and more realistic. I crawled over to my door, and snuck out silently; I could hear the scream of my younger sister and the awful cries from my mother. I ran out to see what was happening; I got to the railing and as I looked down I saw my sister lying in a pool of blood. My father was chasing my mother and not long after that I was by myself, with a killer. A killer who used to be my loving father. Over the years my father had been coping with a mental illness, known as Schizophrenia. Even before I was born he was talking to people that didn’t exist and constantly thought that we were Hit Men from various countries, who had come for him; come to “finish the job.” He claimed aliens had abducted him and that they had conducted experiments. It was very hard for my mother to cope with. I admired her courage and how she was always there for him, caring and loving him every step of the way despite the state he was in. She never gave up hope, because she believed in him. I just guess that one day, his conspiracies got the best of him.

I was screaming and screaming I wanted to be taken away from this nightmare, but as I screamed, I just aroused the attention of my outrageous father. Tears started to stream down my face, causing me to lose control of my senses. He was racing up the stairs towards me; I could see the anger in his heart, the redness in his cheeks and the fear in his eyes. I wiped away my tears and ran, breathing in deeply and breathing out fast. I had to get my brain working again; I had to forget the things I had seen. My logic started to show itself again, I was thinking fast without considering the consequences. At that moment I grabbed what used to be my mother’s favourite vase, and with all my strength threw it at the man I once knew as my father. My whimpers are left unheard for my tears have taken over. It was a hard hit and he fell to the floor, the knife following him; and lodging itself deep into his chest as he fell on his front. I sat there on the blood stained carpet bowling my eyes out, it was almost as if I forgot how to breathe. As I sat there gasping for air, the girl came up behind me and gently placed her cold loving hands on my shoulders. She then pulled me away from the nightmare that took place. Before I knew it, I was back in Felville; hiding in a bush. My clothes were covered in blood and animal droppings; I myself was beginning to inherit the stench of corpses. I climbed out of the bush, not letting down my guard. The mysterious night sky still surrounded me, I wonder... Does the sun ever rise here? Or is it consumed by complete darkness for eternity?

I checked the ground around me, and decided it was safe to move on. I was getting weak and tired; I thought I would find a nice tree to sleep under; not that you could trust anything in this dreadful place. I stopped for a moment and realized the girl was no longer with me, which scares me. I soon came across an old park bench, it had scratch marks on it; I even found a couple of fingernails that the gruesome killer had forgotten to clean before he left this murder scene. My sympathy for those innocent souls who were tortured here was starting to show. I laid myself down to sleep and tried to look up for stars in the sky, but they were all covered by misty clouds that tucked away the only source of life form that was left in this place.

As I tried to sleep, all I thought of was what guilty, revenge driven soul was going to watch me. Would I be taken and not know anything about it? How do I know that everything I’m being put through is real? Maybe this is all a dream. There are all these questions, but only one person or one being could answer them all, and that person is where the light is. I awoke to what would be the next morning, but it was still as black as pitch. The moon watched over me like a parent watches over their child. Only the moon wasn’t so loving, it had some sort of evil glow to it. Nothing in this world seemed to be right. No matter what though, I had to keep moving; if I wanted to get my identity back. It was getting colder. I was closer to the next hill and I was showing excitement. However I was getting feelings of a strange being stalking me. Have you ever had that feeling, where you can tell that someone is watching you? Only when you turn around, there is no one to be seen. It’s always happening here, I sometimes feel the warm breath of someone or something on my neck, but as soon as I turn around, there is no one to greet. The next hill was right in front of me, this time there were two lamp posts; I caught my breath and galloped with it up the hill, it was a lot steeper than the last one. Eventually I got there; there was an envelope on the ground in-between both lamp posts. I reached to read it, I opened it up and it read

‘I have left you a present in this town, enjoy.’

I didn’t know what to think of it at first. I thought it was odd that this creature would leave me something; I didn’t want to accept whatever it was, for it might be a trap. As I carried on walking, I saw the girl again.

“Why do you come then go? Why do you have to keep leaving me?”

I asked. She replied with a ghastly moan, a screech so terrifying it dropped me to my knees, I was so scared yet I couldn’t help but think how much pain this poor spirit was in. She always looks like she is crying for help; I would love to help her but I just don’t know how. It’s something that is eating me up, I don’t like to see people in pain, and I don’t want people to fall into darkness. From my past experience I don’t want any people to go through pain and I want to help them all. I struggle to get back up onto my feet, I search rapidly for the girl; she’s gone again. I can’t feel any emotion, everything has left my body, and this is horrible I don’t want to go back to how I used to live years ago. As I walk past the abandoned play equipment in the park, I see a small bungalow in the distance, and the smell of warm freshly baked cookies catch my attention. The rusty play equipment rattles and creaks as the violent wind flows through the misty air. The smell of cookies could be the surprise that the mysterious soul left me but I wouldn’t dare eat them. Who knows what deadly substance that creature of the night could have spiked my food with. I start to run to the bungalow, the restless wind blows my wavy hair into my face I use my dirty fingernails to wipe the hair away. I finally approach the old straw bungalow; I gently push the door open and discover a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies. I walk over to them, and I see the girl sitting beside them, she gave me a nod as if she was saying it was safe to eat them. I ran over and took a bite, after one bite I wanted more and more. Once one piece went down another followed, and another, and another. The feeling of warm crusty cookies entering my stomach was so over whelming and so un explainable.  It was like an addiction, I couldn’t stop. Who ever knew a demon could bake such delicious cookies, they were so mouth watering and really hit the spot.  But I fear that I could drop dead any second, even though I believed my ghost friend; I couldn’t help but think there was a deadly catch to it. I finished the last crumbs and was satisfied.

After I had feasted I decided to rest again, I searched for a bedroom in the bungalow and soon I found one. The bed was a simple wooden frame with a straw mattress which had a woolen blanket to cover. A cozy fireplace and a warm rug completed the dark bungalow. There was no light but there seemed to be enough that was supplied from the lantern. I lay there a while with my eyes open thinking about what the next hill would bring. I have no clue where I’m heading, but I’m certain that soon I will reach my identity and discover the answers to many of my asked and unanswered questions.

I woke about 8 hours later. The tips of my feet were like icebergs; I rolled out of bed and tried to light the fire. It was then that I heard a knock on the bungalow door; I wondered who on earth could it be? I staggered to the front door, I looked out the side window to see a little child sitting there shivering, it was too dark to notice weather it was a boy or a girl. I opened the door leaving a small gap so I could get a look of the child. I saw it was a girl, I asked her if she wanted to come inside, she just nodded; she doesn’t talk much at all. I sat her on the bench in the living room, noticing how pale her skin was and noticing the rips in her shirt and the scars and open wound on her body. I asked her if she would like a cup of tea. She shook her head and said...

“You don’t have much time, the light is almost out.”

I turned to her with a confused expression on my face,


I asked her, she just repeated herself, she kept saying it over and over, I started to worry, my hands shook and I dropped the cup. The glass shattered in a un orderly manner, and as soon as the cup hit the floor, the girl disappeared. It was then that I rushed to put my pants on; I grabbed the lantern and scurried out the door. I took a big breath and jumped outside, the wind was still blowing violently and the leaves and sand were blown everywhere, it was hard to see and I couldn’t concentrate with all the distractions in the background. But I continued to march forward. I soon entered what seemed to be the darkest place beyond the second hill, there were bodies all over the floor, a sewer had been left open and it looked as if the bodies had been washed up from inside of the sewers. This must have been where the smell had been coming from; there were thousands of dead corpses at my feet. The smell was deadly, I covered my mouth to stop the urge of vomiting, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I ran to a tree and just threw up the cookies I had consumed the night before, it was hard to keep it together, but I managed to in the end. I had to pass through all the bodies to get to the third and final hill; I was passing by holding my gut and looking sympathetically at the corpses that lie there. I suddenly came across three familiar faces, I went all pale in my face, and fear took over my body; I couldn’t believe what I saw and why did I see it? These people had been dead for over 10 years they should be nothing but decaying bones and clothing. Yes, the impossible had happened; I was passing by the corpses of what used to be my family. My mother, sister and murderous father were all lying there. Numbly I begin to see the resemblance of my dead sister and the girl who had come to visit me at the bungalow. It was her, the little girl was my sister! I froze in fear and felt a number of hands touch my body. I screamed, but yet again nothing came out. I was left to be dragged into the sewers by a thousand corpses, my life was about to end. Button was still somewhere with this evil blood thirsty spirit and I was about to die a terrifying death with the corpses of my family members and many others. Why is no one helping me, I thought I was supposed to get to the light; it was my understanding there would be obstacles along the way, but I never thought the obstacles would have the power to take my life.

Just as the bottom half of my body had been dragged into the sewer the girl finally came. It was like all the corpses were scared of her, she floated towards me and grabbed my arms, she gave the most painful yell and with that all the corpses let go and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. The liquidly substance that I thought was water from the sewers actually turned out to be blood, I collapsed to the ground and was screaming in fear.  Tears came to my eyes and I couldn’t see a thing. I begged and pleaded to the ghastly spirit,

“please, please just take me back home! PLEASE!”

All the corpses had disappeared and the blood soaked back into the sewers, the third and final hill was just in front of me; this hill had gloomy concrete steps that were chipped and cracked. I sped off to the top of the hill, realizing that the girl wasn’t with me anymore. I got to the top of the hill and looked down to the bottom, I saw the girl she pointed behind me; I turned around hoping I wouldn’t see the troublesome ghoul, and I didn’t instead I saw three much taller lamp posts and each had a letter on them. I wondered what each letter stood for, the letters were ‘I.O.I’. As I stumble on forwards I find myself being led into a deserted village, the sky is still a misty black and the only source of light is a couple of beams from the glittery moon. I walk forward looking at all the old names of businesses and shops that once used to stand on this empty deceased land. I stagger upon an old hospital, the building is half collapsed and the doors are chained down, I feel a lump enter my throat I can’t decide whether to go in or not. It doesn’t seem like a good choice to enter this abandoned building; seeing as it looks as if it could plunge into the ground at any second. I swallow the lump in my throat and take a brave step forwards. The candle in my lantern ran out a while ago, but as I approach the chained door; I notice another candle and box of matches sitting there. I pick it up and yet again, there is only one match in the match box. Luckily there isn’t a strong wind like there was after the second hill. I lit my candle and moved on slowly, the hairs on my arms and on the back of my neck all stand up, they send a shiver through my body.

I’m inside the deadly building, well what’s left standing of it anyway. I’m being very careful I don’t knock anything or drop anything. No sudden movements. No loud noises. Nothing that will call a demon or ghost. I want to be completely safe now until the end of the journey, I have to think things out well before I do them. The sound  of a moaning spirit catches my attention, I rush to the upset ghost to see if I can help, maybe it can help me find out what ‘I.O.I’ stands for. I turn the corner in a hurry and to my amazement I spy a man sitting on a hospital bed, crying. I walk over to the spirit slowly watching my steps; I start by giving a warm greeting and an arm around his shoulder, although I don’t feel that I can trust him.

“Are you okay? Don’t worry I’m here for you. We're here together, you're not alone now”

I whispered to him as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. He turned to me and said nothing, he just cried harder and took my hand, it was cold and a shock at first, but then I got used to it. Then after a while it started to hurt, he grabbed it tighter, and tighter I screamed for him to let go but he wouldn’t, instead he just sat there laughing. I tried to pull away, but as soon as I did he turned to me. There was a huge grin on his face, his eyes turned red and his teeth turned sharp. I pulled away as hard as I could, once I got free I ran and ran and I didn’t stop. Not until I got outside of the building, once I got outside I took a look at my hand. It was red and hot and there was a black smudge in the middle of it. I moved in closer and discovered he had left a word on my hand; the word was ‘importance’. I couldn’t understand what it could be, but then it clicked


I whispered in amazement it was then that I realized that the word importance must be the first word for ‘I.O.I’.

I spent what felt like years walking through the dark, damp, muddy town that used to lie there. There were shops I passed that had really odd and surreal names like ‘Gallows Inn’ and ‘Reapers clothing store’ this must have been a really grim place when people lived here. I’m cold and lost, hungry, and confused. I just want to get back home, so I can snuggle up with Button again. I don’t even think this evil spirit will let me go once I make it to the ruins of the old castle. My clothes are ripped and I haven’t showered in days. I’m feeling hopeless and suicidal; I just want all this pain to end. I come to a cross road, I have to chose whether to turn left or turn right, keep going or sit tight. The girl appears again, she takes off her long white silky gown and lends it to me, she knows that I am cold and need some warmth if I am to carry on. She pointed to the right; I looked into her eyes, noticing for the first time that she has no eye balls, just the sockets of where her eye balls used to live. I say thank you and struggle on forward; I was just about to give up hope, when I saw it. The ruins of the castle, they were standing there, chipped and cracked. I couldn’t believe my eyes, after all I had been through and I finally got there. Even though there was a light there, the world was still very dull and dark. In fact, where the ruins of the castle lay it was darker than anywhere else in the land. The first smile in a long time came upon my face; I can finally get back home. Well that is what I thought until...

The castle came to life, I saw Lords and Ladies wining and dining on the ground floor. I saw maids and well presented servants who were passing out drinks and nibbles. The sight of a handsome looking fellow dressed in black leather caught my eye; I decided to follow him up the long and winding stair case. I found myself following a red carpet into a brightly lit room; the brightest I had seen in days. The room opens up and reveals itself to be enormous and full of life, there are young girls and young lads dancing around enjoying themselves. My eyes are focused on the handsome fellow with the fancy footwear. I follow him even deeper into the crowd of youngsters and try to catch his attention.
As I’m ignored I decide to give up, he turned to look at me; at this point I got interested and decided to keep following him. As I passed gently through the crowd, people started to stare; I wouldn’t blame them seeing as I hadn’t showered for days and my clothes had awful blood stains on them. I decided to ignore them, and keep on moving. As the man leads me into a dark hall, I start to feel cold as if some sort of being was gently stroking my back. I kept my breath and paced even deeper into the darkness, of course I didn’t know what to expect. Very slowly a light began to glow, and then it grew brighter and shined.

A whole new room appeared before my eyes, there were beautiful red curtains and cozy maroon cushions, cream coloured couches and a magnolia rug; and to top it all off, there was an amazing gold fireplace, a sturdy royal bed and the most beautiful chandelier hanging from the ceiling. I thought how magical and royal everything looked, the view was breath taking. What did this room mean? and why did it take so long to get here?  As I crave the answer to this question, I’m greeted by the very man who brought me here. I don’t know what to refer to him as; as I look at him I see that he is neither man nor animal, he is what most people fear the most. It’s just as I suspected, he is a vampire. I can’t do anything but obey his every word, as he takes me by the shoulders I’m forced to a golden framed mirror. I wouldn’t dare turn to see how awful I looked, but a strong force persuaded my head to turn. My eyes suddenly glue to the mirror, I can’t believe it.

“They were admiring your beauty.”

He spoke. I turned to look at him; he seemed to trust me for he took off the Jewelled mask that had kept his identity a secret for so long. I don’t recognize the pale, scar faced male that stands in front of me, yet he seems to know me very well. I finish my last glance at the vampire beside me and try to focus my attention on the mirror. I see a very different, very beautiful young woman in front of me; I have no intention that this woman is me. I raise my right hand and softly stroke the side of my pale face. Unexpectedly the woman in the mirror does this too; it’s amazing how I had gone from looking like a living corpse to looking like a member of the royal family. My hair was curled perfectly, and my make-up done so naturally to perfection. I had no idea why I was dressed in this way, but I had a gut feeling that I was soon to find out. I couldn’t help but just stare at the gorgeous man that stood next to me. I turned to him and looked deep into his eyes, something clicked inside of me and I felt like I had known him for a while. Everything about him just reeled me in more, his scent, his smile, his teeth, his hair; even the touch of his skin upon mine. It was like I had fallen in love and I couldn’t stop myself from falling any deeper. As he pulled me closer into his chest, I melted in his arms. I was swooped from my feet and carried to the large bed with the blood red sheets and misty gold cushions. He lied me down gently in his arms and started to passionately kiss my neck; he then slid next to me silently and stroked my hair. I felt so adored, so loved; no man had ever made me feel this way. My sudden love for him grew stronger as he tenderly glided his finger up and down my neck; he looked deep into my eyes and spoke...

"Poppy Fey, Poppy Fey. Will you stay and will you play?”

At this point I froze; I could feel the haunting sensation sprint from my toes to the top of my head. I knew I recognized his voice from somewhere; he was the taunting spirit that left those words to forever haunt me. I’m too scared to move, any sudden movement could cost me my life. I decide to tuck away my fear and just forget everything; as the vampire leant over for a sharp kiss, I snatched the vase of roses from the bedside table and plunged it into his head. Whilst he lie there tending to the cut on his forehead, I jumped up and run to the door. I’m almost there when he forces it shut, I start to panic as there is no where left to run. There’s a restless wind blowing the curtains and smashing vases and pictures onto the floor. I start to scream and fall to my knees; my tears are so warm to my frozen face. Suddenly, the wind stops and I’m left sobbing on the solid ground. I get up to see if there is any sign of this tormenting spirit, but he is nowhere to be seen. The room is silent; you can hear my heart pounding and my breath starting to go out of sync. The sound of light footsteps come to my attention, I’m inpatient to see who appears in the room. To my surprise Button comes toddling in, I run over to her in excitement. There is so much joy in my heart as she comes running and purring to me, but as she approaches I notice something different. Her eyes aren’t green, they are blue. It was just seconds after that I realized that I had fallen for another trick. The creature who I thought was my cat, was just a decoy and had me fooled long enough for the ghoul to trap me. I’m stuck on what moves to make next; as the terrifying beast moves closer to me, I see the outline of a slim girl starting to appear. Why is it she always shows at the very last minute? The vampire grabs me tightly.

The girl comes speeding towards me, I try to step back but he has me pinned with his strong hands. The girl is getting closer and increasing her speed, there is a sudden flash and I’m thrown onto the other side of the room. My body is hurled full speed at the wall; I’m injured as I’m left gasping for air. I’m left to recover as I watch the two desperately fight for their lives. It’s a thrilling sight, I can’t help but feel I can do something for the girl though; it seems as if that demon of the night can take a beating. I watched in great horror as the girl who was saving my life got hurled into the wall opposite me, I thought she would hit it and slide straight down. I was wrong she went flying through the wall, and the next wall she passed. I didn’t think she could pass through things, even though she was a ghost; she didn’t cross me as that type of ghost. My health felt like it had restored and my breathing had begun to grow more in sync. I forced myself up and as I did, I felt a huge pain in my back. While I straightened my posture my back took a nasty recovery that ended with a painful ‘crack’. It wasn’t a nice feeling at all; it was most excruciating; I staggered to the large solid doors and attempted to run as fast as I could. Not long after my painful escape, I found the vampire coming up behind me. At this point I was fighting for my life.

The room where thousands of people once danced around in was now just a collapsed ceiling and some cracked walls. The spiraling stair case that led me up stairs was now a five meter drop, and the whole castle was yet again just ruins. I leant forwards, looking down at the thrilling drop. I didn’t have enough time, I either jumped or I stay forever in this gloomy world with this vampire as my master and myself just another one of his slaves. There was no hesitation, the vampire gave a huge cry as I prepared for the fall; and with that I was crashing down. I fell hard and fast, the pain was excruciating but I had to fight it. I needed to get out of there alive, no matter what.

Before I continue my escape, I check to see if that creature is still behind me. I’m lucky for he is nowhere to be seen, I can finally take a break but not for long, just to get back my breath and see if I can attend to my twisted ankle. I sit alone crying to myself, I can’t stand the pain and I’m about to give up. That is until I see the girl; she knelt down beside me, and placed her cold fingertips onto my ankle. I begin to feel more relieved, she seems to have the touch of an angel. She’s starring at me and presents me with her hand; I’m lost in her deep, dark eyes as I place my hand softly in hers. She pulls me up then floats mysteriously into the glittery beams of the moons light. Could it be that she is gone now, forever? How will I get home without her? Where do I go from here?

I look down at my ankle to see a black smudge, I look in loser and reveal the word ‘Identity’ written on my ankle. It was the girl telling me one final thing before she left. I couldn’t think what she meant by this at first, but then suddenly it hit me. ‘I.O.I’ the first word that fit into the meaning of these three letters was Importance the second, was Identity. I sat there confused and exhausted on the cold floor, what was so special about the words importance and identity?

“The Importance of Identity.”

I slowly turned my head to see the fully recovered vampire behind me. I try to scream but my voice had been taken from me, I then realize there is no point in screaming if there is no one to help me. His cold eyes are hooked onto mine as he drags me deep into the darkness; I can’t do anything but attempt to scream. No one can help me as this dark creature of the night pursues his dreams, which unfortunately leave a terrifying ending for me. My screams are unheard and weak, there is no turning back now, and I can’t even remember most of my past. He has taken me back and shown me most parts of what I used to be, I can’t help but feel that there is a big part of my life that he has refused for me to see; and on purpose. Am I supposed to find out what it is my eyes have been forbidden to see? Or do I just simply live my life the way he has planned it out for me, with no identity, no soul, no sense of feeling alive, just the sense of me being a fake. Maybe at the end of this horrible nightmare, the whole stage in my life that he missed out will be shown to me, and I will finally have my identity.

There is nothing left of me now but darkness, he has finally got what he has wanted since day one, but I fear what he will make of me. Where will I awake next? And what scenario will I be in? Where will it all go from there? I try to sleep as I am drained of my energy, but before I can I am awoken by a painful bite on my wrist, I sit up in shock and glare at my arm. The fangs of a Funnel web spider are sunk deep into my skin and the poison is being loaded into my veins. Strangely enough, I seem to be immune to his powerful and rather deadly venom. Why is this? What did that vampire do to me? Everything is so different and now I don’t know if I am an actual human being anymore. As I dust myself off I rip the spider from my wrist and place him gently on the ground, it seems like he is the only close thing I have in my life. He crawls away slowly letting his beautiful large legs lead the way. I look around noticing there is a long road ahead of me, and I am placed upon the grass.
My eyes are wildly searching, I don’t know where I am, but most importantly I don’t know why I am here. I walk forward into the light that is being supplied by the tall dusty lamp post, I hold out my hands in front of me, my nails are long a perfectly filed, my hands are cold and dry, and my skin is pale with a very faint pale blue tint to it. I feel the hatred boiling up inside of my blood, how could he do this to me! He left me on this long and winding road, just so I could starve and die a lonely death. He was supposed to take me home, to button and my warm sheets, now what am I supposed to do?

It’s the end and I feel the need to give up. As I sit up on the prickly grass I wonder how I am supposed to get out of this place, and find my way back home. I begin to cry but stop when I hear the sound of a car in the distance, I can see the bright beaming headlights and the speed at which it is moving. I get up to try and wave the car down, so I can get back home to my life, to Button. Suddenly the thoughts of everything that has just happened take over. I'm nothing, I'm no one. Now is my chance to give up, to forget everything and forever be in peace, I drag my feet into the middle of the road and sit there patiently, waiting for death to snatch me from this nightmare. There is nothing left to live for anymore, I have no identity, I don’t know where I am and I am something that isn’t human, something I don’t want to be, and something that should just be killed. There is no point looking for something when there was nothing left to look for in the first place, it just doesn’t exist and it never has. The car comes racing at me; I tighten my fists and wait for the approaching vehicle to scatter my remains. It’s getting closer and the lump in my throat has come to pay me one last visit before everything just stops. The time has come, I close my eyes and...

...I don’t know what I’m feeling, am I dead? What just happened? I concentrate hard hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel, making sure it pulled me in closer to it, but instead I heard a terrifying scream. My eyes forced themselves open and sitting in front of me was the crashed hood of a car, and I seem to be left unharmed. How could this happen? What did that ghastly vampire do to me? I stand up slowly and the scent of a young woman is brought to my attention, my nose is going crazy and my taste buds are tingling. She jumped out of the car and peered around the corner to see who or what she had hit, I quickly sped to the other side of the car so she couldn’t see me; and to her amazement there was no one there. Just an old torn cloth, I can see the fear in her eyes and the Goose bumps on her skin, her skin is so fair and pale. It seems to make my mouth water, I don’t know why this is happening, but I seem to be in complete control it feels like this is something I’m used to doing. Could it be this is my past or what is now my future?

I decide to go and introduce myself, I slowly glide towards her. The strong cold wind blows her beautiful straight hair and the smell of her warm, clean neck widens my eyes. What have I turned into? The desire to bite her neck and rapidly draw blood from it was way too strong for me to control, I can’t help myself, the power is too overwhelming. I gently place my hand on her shoulder and before she could turn to scream, I grabbed her by the neck and pulled her in towards me. My fangs are lodged deep into her neck, I try my hardest to pull them out, but the taste of her warm blood is too delightful that it is just impossible to reject it. Once I satisfy my hunger, my fangs are repelled from the girl’s neck, leaving her cold and drained. I never knew what a monster I had become, I peered down and noticed the piercing bite marks on her neck. I gently stroked my fingers across my own neck, and I froze. I now knew what I was, I had the painful marks from his fangs on my neck; he was the one who had turned me into a monster. As I watch the poor, drained girl twitch on the cold floor, I felt my personality start to kick back into place; I felt the power in my hands.

Of course, I now know who that girl was, the girl who was neither dead nor alive. I'm greeted by the vampire again, he takes me by the hand and says

"let me help you to remember"

Suddenly I'm taken back to my apartment, I look at the time it’s 11:00pm. I check the calendar for a date; it’s the 14th of February 2008. Valentine’s Day; I can’t believe it, he has taken me back to the night I attempted suicide. I watch myself slice my arms again, turning away as I can't bare to see myself do it. A few moments later, I look back and find the vampire holding my neck, desperately trying to make me what he is. At the same time I see my soul rise from my dead body. I can't believe it. The dead girl was me the whole time. Suddenly I'm taken back to my own crime scene, my victim still laying cold in her own blood. The vampire lets go of my hand and steps to the side, allowing me some space. So many things are running through my head, so many questions answered. It's all too much then all of a sudden it hit me.

"My identity is calling my name; I now know why identity is so important. Once you forget who you are, you are worthless and without point. You feel there is no purpose for you, but you showed me I have a purpose, you helped me to see who I really am. I ended my old life and you just gave me a new one."

A moment of silence stole the moment. I looked over to the vampire and he started to fade, I looked to the woman on the floor and she was gone. Her car was fading, everything was falling apart...

I sat up quickly, took a deep breath in. I heard a soft purr in the distance, I felt my cheek and it was warm. I opened my eyes and found myself in my room, my silk sheets were stuck to my legs as I had been sweating. The purring got closer as I found Button wonder onto my lap, I smiled with joy and stroked her beautifully soft fur, she rubbed her nose against my cheek. The sun began to peer through the spaces in my curtains. I inhale through my nose and tell myself,

"It was just a dream"

© Copyright 2020 PoppyFey. All rights reserved.

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