Wen I Met Someone Else

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A Love Riddle

Submitted: February 19, 2011

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Submitted: February 19, 2011

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When I Met Someone Else by Pranay


12-Sep-2007
‘Come on Raj we are getting late for the training’.
‘Yaa Aniket just give me 10 mins...’I replied.
‘10 mins!!!For Gods sack Raj today is our maiden day of ILP (initial learning program) and you are going to make us tardy’ Aniket shouted.
‘Don’t worry Aniket…I am almost ready…Come on lets rock’.
This was our first day in a software firm’s training center. We both were stirred. After completing our Engg three months back, we were asked to go through this two months initial software training at Bhubaneswar. This wasn’t permanent. After winding it up successfully we‘ll join at some other location like Delhi, Mumbai or Kolkata etc. This was our first steps towards our career.
I and Aniket have been roomies since college. We both were very happy when we were picked out in same company, moreover when we got same training center, it was awesome.
The good thing about our friendship is that we both have a similar kind of modus Vivendi (life style). Although we may dissent in our thinking and liking, the kind of alleviation we feel in each other company is responsible for such ripe companionship.
We had some conflict in the back especially over Shreya (my girlfriend) but we sorted it out finally. Here fight doesn’t mean Aniket had a crush or infatuation about her…no...Nothing like that. It was just that he wasn’t very happy with my choice but still we are close friends because I think two persons cannot be long friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings.

Aniket also have a girlfriend, called Sneha which I feel, is nowhere in comparison to Aniket. On one side Aniket is voguish, savvy and handsome, and on other side Sneha is mediocre, average kind of girl but that’s my personal notion.
Shreya is in Noida now. She joined some other company and Sneha…she is still hunting for a job.

Today was feverish but quite interesting. When hundreds of us, trainees, put first step in this huge and staggeringly exquisite training center I got the feeling same as Neil Armstrong got when he put first step on Moon…A small step for a man and a giant step for mankind..I know I am verbose here but I felt the same way.
We met so many new people from around the country with having big goals in their small eyes, met couple of so called trainers as well. Some of them were really squeamish. There were few classroom sessions today and for some time I felt like I have descend to college but in a bigger and different one. Unfortunately I and Aniket were placed in different batches. Aniket was bit distressed and I bugged him saying that ’Aniket stop behaving like this. For Christ’s sake I am not your girlfriend’.
I liked my batch at first glint. The good thing was that boys-girls ratio was good. Being a mechanical Engg I know how it feels to have an equal sex ratio. We have heard a lot about this training during college. The good part is that apart from technical stuff the focus ‘ll be on over all grooming. It’s like a transition from a scholar to a professional.

Food was Ok...but I didn’t like the rise…I hate it…Specially that curd rise.
This was the first time I was away from Shreya in four years. Last four years were amazing with her. This feeling of being away from her was in my psyche since we finish our college but today…today I felt it and this feeling was rather different from the one I had when I depart from my family.
I have so many other people around here but the simple lack of her is more to me than others' presence. I really miss her. Hope she misses me too.
Before bed I and Aniket had a little talk about our day. Aniket went to talk to Sneha on mobile and I was much fagged so I went to bed.


19-Sep-2007
Last one week was really tough. Now I come to know why in IT people always whine about work load. Thanks to western work culture of 5 days week that we get at least sat-sun off. initially I felt that this training center is like paradise where we have suite kind of rooms and all epicurean facilities like sports, pool and theater but now I realize that it’s like gilded cage where everything looks exquisite from distance but when you actually live in it you agnise that you have given all these things but in trade one thing that has been taken away from you is your time so you don’t really have time to enjoy any of this. That’s why people quetch that despite of money and class the one thing that misses in IT is Life. Yes, when you go to office at 8 in morning and come back at 10 in night, all exhausted mentally and physically you don’t bid to live such life.

But your wish matters only when you have any choice and we don’t have any. We have to adhere to it. In last 1 week I and Aniket couldn’t talk much. The only time we talked was mostly during lunch.
And Shreya, I couldn’t think about her much. Ohh god I do miss her. I wish she were here but the interesting thing is that this feeling of missing some one is quite confusing because though with each day passes you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are actually one day closer to the next time you will.
 I still recall the day in college when I saw her for the very first time. She was sitting in a corner away from everyone eyes. I don’t know whether it was love at first sight or not but yes there was something in her that coerces me towards her. I did fall that day but not because of gravitation…it’s not responsible for people falling in love.

First couple of days I just scouted her, didn’t try to interact or something. It was only after apportionment of lab groups I got a chance to talk to her. She and I were allocated to same group. I think ‘S’ had to follow the ‘R’ anyway.
‘Hello...I am Raj...may I know your good name’ the first thing I asked though I knew it already.
Shreya’ she said in a balmy and sluggish tone.
Her voice was very calm and soothing to me. I wanted to talk to her more but I couldn’t.
That day on way back to home, all the time I was just reciting that one word she told me..’Shreya...Ohh...ShreyaShreya’.
After that day we talked on multiple occasions due to some lab work or class work. I was really relishing her company a lot. Slowly-slowly our talk shifted from professional to personal life. I got to know about her liking, disliking, about her family and all. She was the only child of her parents and had a good but quite bourgeois upbringing.
Apart from her I was involved in another group of boys as well. We were around 7-8 guys used to come and go together from college to home. They were nice chaps.

Till then my relation with Shreya was limited to a good ally only. I was getting tensed about our relation. It’s been already 6 months and we were only friends I mean how can you be just friends when you have such strong feelings for anyone. I decided to propose her but was frightened of thoughts of losing her friendship but without pain there is no gain so I took the risk. One day while we were coming back from a coaching I propose her. I had seen lot of amorous movies, had read a lot of stories and had rehearsed a lot but when it came to deliver it to her I couldn’t say much. I told in very plain word, in a very evident way.
She wasn’t shocked. She said she knew this could happen but she can’t say yes due to her family limitations and all. After lot of begging and prays she finally accorded to think about it.
That night I couldn’t sleep, all the time I was thinking about her only. After that day for around 3 months, daily I used to ask her about her decision and she used to say she hasn’t decided. Then something happened that altered my life completely afterwards.
One day in college I was sitting outside of my class with my group. Till now my group mates had got the clear idea about my pursuit of her. So one of them said something crumby or vulgar about Shreya. It was something I could not endure. That guy was one of my best friend but at that moment I forgot everything and I hit him. We were indulged in a fight. My other friends came in between and any how it was ceased. Coincidentally Shreya saw all this.
After this I was no more part of that group. My friends told me many times that I shouldn’t desert them for a girl and all but I didn’t or say couldn’t listen to them. Even Aniket and I had an argument over this.
‘See Raj…That girl isn’t good for you…you are leaving your friends for her’ Aniket said.
‘May be…I am… and may be this is my personal matter’ I said in a torment manner.
We didn’t talk much for next couple of days. No one was ready to break the ice. Finally I talked to him and we sorted out our differences.
After couple of days it was ‘Shreya’s birthday when ‘I’ got the biggest present. She said yes to me. I was out of the world, couldn’t believe that she said yes to me.
I started to like to go to class just because I used to get a chance to talk to her. We enjoyed a lot there. We used to meet outside for any reason and used to roam around the city. On Sundays we used to go for a long drive and used to sit on a high place in serenity.
Two yrs later we had our campus placement. Fortunately I got selected in very first company but Shreya couldn’t. She was broken down completely. I consoled her a lot. ‘This wasn’t the end of the world’ I said. But destiny had something else for her. In next couple of months around 10 more companies visited our college but she couldn’t make, in any of them. Next one year was the ruggedest. We were moving towards our graduation completion but Shreya was still searching for her first break.

There were some open campus in another city but it was around 500 km from our town. There was no one to accompany her over there. Finally I went with her. But it wasn’t just once, couple of times we had to trip that city. Though I had to lie to my family every time I was going with her I thought it was the least I could do for her. Finally her arduous work and my prayers got colors and she got selected in a Delhi based company. I was relieved.
Then came the final year of our college. That year was most amazing one. Magic may be just an illusion but love is definitely magical. We both had jobs and there was no such strain so it was the happiest time of my college life but somewhere in my mind I was worried about post college scenario.
The bad thing about good time is that it passes very fast without realization. Soon our college days were over. We were waiting for our joining. I got it first. I had to come to Bhubaneswar. Since the last day of our college we were preparing our self to face this but reality was more baffling than we thought.
‘Promise me you‘ll call me daily’ Shreya said with tears in her eyes.
‘Yes of course and don’t worry if good time has a bad habit then bad time also has a good habit that it also passes away’ I replied.
My mom and dad came to see off me at station. But my eyes were searching Shreya only. But she didn’t show up instead she just called and said ‘Raj…I can’t come…I don’t have the courage to see you going away from me’.
So now here we are, in Bhubaneswar 2000 Km away from home, learning a new kind of ‘ism’ professionalism.
23-Sep-2007
Today I talked to Sneha (Aniket girlfriend), actually Aniket was babbling to her and she suddenly asked him to hand over the cell to me. She asked about my well being and all. During college days sometimes she used to call on my cell to talk to Aniket in case his mobile is not reachable due to any reasons. Sometimes it was ok but some other time very bothering.
Aniket and Sneha were from same town. That’s how their friendship was started. They used to trip together to their hometown. Aniket was very sharp and intelligent and was overall a very voguish guy. Sneha was taciturn and was ok overall. We all, especially me always used to wonder about their pairing till Aniket told me their full story. It was like initially when Sneha and Aniket were just friends there was one more guy Ankur who was also in picture. Now this Ankur was Sneha’s classmate both in school and in college. Sometimes these three Sneha, Aniket and Ankur used to visit their place together.
This guy Ankur was little weird but Aniket was nowhere in front of him when it comes to whether smartness or intelligence. Ankur was really hot and in demand. He always had a crush on Sneha but she used to like Aniket who was incognizant of all this.

When finally Ankur proposed Sneha she simply said that there is someone else in her life. Ankur tried to convince her a lot but she had made her mind. Though there was no such scene between Aniket and Sneha then, she was determine for Aniket only.
Finally the day came when Aniket proposed Sneha. It was in his mind for quite a long time but he wasn’t too sure about this. Sneha said yes instantly. She was very happy, was like a dream comes true for her.
When Aniket told me about his proposal to Sneha, I was quite amused. ’Really!!! Sneha! I mean Sneha!!! I know love always comes with madness but there must be some reason in that madness…’ I said in a light way.
I couldn’t believe in it. How come Sneha??Where is Aniket and where is Sneha. Really love is blind but later on when Aniket told me the full story I was astounded. I felt sorry to him. That girl rejected ‘Ankur’ for Aniket then she must be loving Aniket very much.

After this she often used to visit our rooms. She was really caring and loving for Aniket. She used to call him at least 10 times a day. I won’t forget the time when Aniket was hospitalized and she took care of him like a kin, was there for whole 3 days. After knowing her I realized that how wrong I was about her. I think most of us have this habit or say bad habit of creating some thoughts about the people we barely know just based on our assumptions.
Aniket and Sneha have a healthy relation till now. Sneha is still looking for a job. Hopefully there won’t be any problem in their marriage. Their love really taught me a lot. Love is not blind but it’s unconditional. The only thing that alters us from machines is our emotions and if they become conditional then we no longer are different from machines. After experiencing their story my love for Shreya has only become stronger.

26-Sep-2007
Now we have almost completed two weeks here. In past few days I got to know lot of people from our training especially from my batch. It’s really amazing to be with so many different kind of people. People from different states, language, culture and tradition.
Today a strange thing happened with me. I was in my class and was about to go for lunch. Other people had gone and I was just starting. Suddenly I felt something very lustrous in my eyes. I looked down and what I found was a beautiful bracelet.
‘Somebody must have slipped it’ I thought.
I took it in my hand and saw it carefully. There were some initials on it. ’A’ ‘N’ ‘U’…’Anu’…’Ohh so it’s Anu’ I thought.
Whom it belongs to??Ohh there is a girl actually and even in my project group only...called Anuya...then it must be of her...I thought.
Now to this girl Anuya I had never talked to. I went to canteen and looked for her. She was sitting in a corner solely. I reached her and showed her the bracelet. She immediately recognized it. I gave it to her.
‘Are  ...you are having lunch alone…’I said.
‘Yaa...she said in a pitiful manner.
‘Would you like to join me??’ She asked.
‘Ok’...I said…I had to join actually Aniket for the lunch but he wasn’t there till then so I thought maybe I can join her.
Over lunch we talked a little. It was a nice talk. She is from Maharashtra only. I told her about myself and my background and all. She was quite happy with having someone over lunch.
After some time Aniket arrived. I just waved hand to him. As we had almost finished he joined others.
Tonight I talked to Shreya. We talked about 1 hour. I really felt happy after it. One thing is true about relations that whatever problems you have or in whatever shit you are, when you talk to your loved ones, you forget everything, all your grief and gloom and  again willing to live life happily.

02-Oct-2007
For past few days I and Aniket are having different schedules so we are not able to meet in office. Moreover he is in second shift so by the time he comes back I have crawled in already.  So couldn’t talk to him much at home either.
Now a days due to Aniket’s absence I am having lunch with Anuya only. She is an interesting girl; not only ravishing but also have a good knowledge and sense of humor which generally girls lack. I haven’t told Shreya anything about Anuya...I don’t know why…may be I will…There is nothing to conceal. I don’t think she would have problem if I chat a little to any other girl. We trust and love each other very much.
‘Hey!!Don’t mention yaar. It was nothing. Really, maybe we were lucky that I did it unwittingly that you weren’t coming with it and you are my friend yaar and I don’t expect a thanks from my friends’ she said.
‘So sweet of you’ I replied.
Today we talked a little about something other than office. Till then I felt like we were just batch or project mates but she considered me her friend. That’s really nice of her. She is my only friend here other than Aniket.


09-Oct-2007
In last one week I have talked a lot to Anuya. After being together in lab group we were chosen in same dummy project group as well which gave us lot of spare time together. She is really a dandy girl. Yesterday something interesting happened. We were in the lab and in mid of some talk I said something about Shreya erroneously. Anuya sniffed instantly that something was there. She asked who is she and all I said no body but she said she saw in my eyes that something is there. Shreya can’t be any girl. She must be somebody special. She forced a lot to talk about her. Finally I gave up. I can’t say no to any girl and to a girl like Anuya…never. I told her that it’s a long story and will take quite a time. She immediately gave me her number and asked to call her at night. I was bit reluctant. At least in my part of the world we don’t share numbers with girls, I mean they don’t share their number with boys very easily but she was very candid.
Finally in night I called her. I told her all about Shreya even I mailed her one of Shreya’s snap. She was very happy and said that I was lucky to have such beautiful girl in my life. Then in back I asked her that whether she has someone in her life or not. Initially she resists but then told me about him, the lucky guy. There story was quite interesting. She is Maharashtrian and the guy is Bengali. His name is Saurabh. They were in same class in college and it was she who made a pass at him first (quite peculiar).They have been together for past 2 and half years.

‘But Anuya…don’t you think that you guys will have lot of trouble for getting married?’ I asked.
Yaa Raj, We always knew that it’s going to be very tough for us to be together in future and we may have to face the confrontation of both families  but that’s future and we don’t want to barren our present for the sake of a future we are unaware about’ she replied.
‘Quite interesting yaar...But just in case that future doesn’t turn out to be in the way you want it to be, then what?’ I asked.
‘Then…well then…I don’t know…all I know that we don’t have any command over our future. All we have is our present and it’s nothing we can do about it’ she replied.

‘Well…Anuya (sighs)… I agree that we can’t choose our future but we certainly can choose our present and in a way that the future turns out to be the way we want it to be even if wasn’t going to be the way it finally turns out’ I said.
‘That’s called a difference in opinion’ she said.
‘No that’s called a difference in experience’ I replied.
I don’t know. I choose Shreya coz I like her and secondly coz I knew that it’s not going to be a problem in my home and hopefully neither in her as we both belong to same community and religion but what if she were from some other cast or faith. Wouldn’t I have fallen for her and if yes then what would have I done? I don’t know May be Anuya is right. We can’t choose our destiny but are forced to abide by it.


12-Oct-2007

I want to write daily but unable to do so. I am choked off this training. If Anuya weren’t here then maybe I wouldn’t have made this long. She is a great help, never mind to be called anytime. I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar and she is that kind of friend. I am having a peachy time with her. Now we have started working on our dummy project. That means spending more time together. Even coming and going together and staying late in office. I don’t know but in spite of this load I have kind of started to like here.
Now almost every day we are talking over mobile after office mostly coz of project work. Sometimes in mid of any issue she says ‘Raj…let’s stop this shit and talk about something else…something non-technical (she said in a loud voice)’.
‘Stop kidding Anuya. Sometimes you behave like a tiddler ‘ I said.

But she does. Some days I feel that she hasn’t grown yet but I think her childishness is something that draws in everyone towards her.
Her boyfriend Saurabh is in US for his Masters and they don’t talk to each other daily due to long distance unlike me and Shreya who talk for hours at night.
Last night we talked for around 2 long hours that was after 11.ohh god it was really tiresome. When I was single I used to think how people talk to same person daily for hours and what they talk about? But now I understood you don’t need topics to talk to someone you love profoundly. All you need is desire. You talk to them coz you want to.


15-Oct-2007
Yesterday was off from office so we went for a small picnic. There were around 13-14 people all from our batch only. They were from Anuya’s college except me and they knew each other quite well. I didn’t want to go as I barely know them, don’t have any friendship and also I don’t like to intrude in some other group but Anuya insisted that I must go. She said that I must come otherwise she won’t go as well. Finally I nodded yes.
It was a trip to a beach and some old ruined temple. We hired a mini bus and went early in the morning. Now in the bus everyone was enjoying and laughing except me. They were talking and chatting. I was sitting alone in front sheet thinking why the hell I came on this trip. Anuya saw me and she came from the back and sit beside me. I felt little comfortable now. She talked to me for a while and tried to cheer me up.  Asked me to come in back and join them but I was reluctant. Then one of her friend called her from back and she went though she didn’t seem willing to.

We reached our destination. It was a very nice beach. Slow soothing breeze, full of greenery in surrounding and freshness. I felt really calm and sedated. Now those people went into water to play but I had no intention to do so. I don’t feel comfortable in a group where I don’t know anyone very well. I told them to go and enjoy and I sat on sand at shore only. Anuya and her friends were fiddling in water. They looked like they were having awesome time. I was just watching Anuya from distance. She was so happy and full of fun. Sometimes I feel like why Shreya is not like this. I mean she is fun but she takes so much tension of everything and always complain about things. May be she must meet Anuya then she can learn something from her.
Anuya saw me and came to me.
‘Come on Devdas. Why are you sitting here alone? Come and enjoy the party yaar’ she said.
‘No yaar…I am enjoying from here only...I like to revel water from distance’ I said.
‘How can you enjoy if you not into it…’ she said.
We didn’t say anything for some time. She also sits beside me taciturnly. Now I feel much better. I wanted her to go and enjoy but somewhere in my heart I wanted her to be near to me.

After some time we went for lunch. 3 groups of 4 people sat on three tables and I sat on adjacent table. They asked me to join but I said its ok I am here only. We ordered something and started our lunch. Then Anuya with her plate again came to me and sat with me. I could see that her friends weren’t too happy with her attending me all the time but she didn’t care and just came and behaved like nothing happened, tried to make it same as we daily have lunch together in canteen.
On way back to our place everyone was sitting quiet. Everyone was tired and resting. Some were sleeping but I was thinking all the time about Anuya’s demeanor only. The way she came to me every time she saw me alone. Her tricks to cheer me up. I don’t know whether this trip was enjoying or not but it was worth for knowing such a caring person.
Today Anuya didn’t come to office till lunch. I was busy so couldn’t care. I was having lunch alone and suddenly Anuya came and sat.
‘Hey!! Where are you mam? You didn’t come in first half’ I said.
‘Yaa. Actually was bit tired after yesterday’s long trip. So had some rest’. She said
‘Ok’.

‘By the way Raj...Yaar I am sorry…really I am’.
‘What!!!What happened? Why are you saying so?’
‘I really feel sorry for yesterday. I shouldn’t have called you. I know you didn’t enjoy a bit and I forced you to come. You know since last night I wanted to say this. All this happened coz of me. You came to enjoy but couldn’t at all I know’ she said in a sad tone.
‘Hey…No yaar…who says so…I did enjoy…and it was really fun…may be I was bit distant but I really liked it’.
‘You don’t have to pretend Raj…no…I know you didn’t….pls forgive me’.
‘Come on Anuya. It’s nothing. I know you did everything to make it memorable for me. You don’t have to say all this...I enjoyed…I enjoyed your company…yaar..Pls don’t feel any guilt at all’.
‘That’s nice of you’ she said.
Wow…here I was happy even for her efforts to make me happy and there she was feeling guilt.ohh god she is so good. I mean I am just a friend…if I didn’t enjoy then it was my fault but she was holding herself responsible for it. Hey Saurabh wherever you are…you are very lucky boss to have a girl like this in your life.


17-Oct-2007
Today Aniket was not feeling well so he took the second half off and came back with me only. On the way back we were talking about our training and everything. Suddenly Aniket asked about Anuya.
‘Raj…whats going on between her and you?’ he asked.
‘Going on means??Nothing yar. We are just friends and nothing else’ I replied.
‘You better be Raj’.
‘Don’t worry Aniket she has a boyfriend called Saurabh and she is quite happy with him but she is a wonderful girl yaar…really amazing’ I said.
‘Good for her but you better be warned. Her boyfriend is not here and Shreya is also not here. Believe me these distance sometimes cost a lot. These long distance relationships are not easy to follow’ he said.
‘I know Aniket but trust me if you think so then you don’t know about my love for Shreya. This distance is just a number yaar and it does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another… Distance doesn't matter if you really love the person, what matters most is your honesty and trust for that relationship to work out.…we trust each other and moreover I know what I am doing’ I replied confidently.
‘You should be….should be’ he said.
Is Aniket envious of my friendship with Anuya or is he just caring? I don’t know.


22-Oct-2007
Past one week was really tough not because of any hectic schedule or work load, I got used to it but because of personal life. Actually 3-4 days back I was in office in late hours. I and Anuya were doing some testing for our project and were quite busy. Meanwhile Shreya called me couple of times and I didn’t pick up. She was continuously calling and I was ignoring as we were in mid of something. I was really frustrated. Finally after 10-12 missed calls I finally picked up and told her that I was busy and ‘ll call her back but she was not listening to me. Maybe she had some bumpy day or so and I don’t know why… due to irritation or something… I shout at her again. I continued my work and after finishing it finally at 10pm I headed for home. I was very tired and this incident with Shreya just slipped out of my mind and I slept. Next day I realized that I had forgot to call her back. She was sad but angry. I tried to console her but she started crying. I didn’t know what to do. I told I wasn’t enjoying or something I was working but she said she heard some voice of a girl from back (Anuya).I said ‘yaa there was one and she was also working. Cant I work with any girl’.
Finally anyhow I convinced her and promised to call her every night.

24-Oct-2007
Today again something wrong happened. I was on a call with Anuya in night for some work. Meanwhile Shreya called me. Firstly I brushed aside thinking that I‘ll call her back. This call with Anuya shouldn’t take more than 10-15 mins but it took more than anticipated time. It took around half an hour and after it I wasn’t able to call Shreya due to some network issue. Finally when I called her after 2 hours she started to complain again that I wasn’t answering her phone and was talking to someone else. I told her that there was some network issue but she was out of her mind.
I don’t know whats wrong with her. She used not be like this.

27-Oct-2007
Yesterday was Anuya’s birthday. I wished her first in the morning. In the night she took me and some of her friends on a party. It was a nice diner and we had lot of fun .Anuya was looking absolutely astonishing tonight but my bad luck was not leaving me that day even. By mistake I forgot my mobile at my place only and guess what happened…Shreya called…and again I wasn’t there to talk to her. Finally after 10-12 miscalls Aniket picked up the phone who was sleeping in other room. He wasn’t conscious completely so he directly said to Shreya that I was in Anuya’s party.
I had never mentioned Anuya to Shreya. I don’t know why I thought I shouldn’t .There wasn’t anything to hide but I didn’t. Finally when I called her in night she asked me so many questions about this party and Anuya. I told her everything but I felt as she didn’t believe me.
I don’t understand whats going on in my life. I had heard that it’s really difficult to maintain a long distance relationship but I never thought it’s going to cost this much. My relation with Shreya is becoming a mess day by day. Every other day we are having a fight on something. She says I have changed a lot and don’t care about her anymore. But I know I am trying my best to save this relation. Sometimes I think that she has varied a bit. She wasn’t so suspicious like this before. May be I should seek some ones help.
31-Oct-2007
Again…Again…and again…I am having a tough time now these days. This time it was my mistake only. Actually today we had our first of two tests at training. It was very important as we have to clear both of them for successful completion of this training. I was fully occupied with its preparation even I had told Shreya two days back that I may not be able to call her for two days. She asked me to focus on my test only.
We had to cover many topics so we thought that maybe I can prepare a few and Anuya can others and then we‘ll share with each other. We did exactly the same. In the end we got at least some idea about most of the topics and subjects. I don’t know but I feel really comfortable with her and so does she…I think.
Finally we had our test and both of us completed it successfully. We both scored more than 80 percent in it. I was really glad and gave full credit to Anuya. She is my best friend because she is the one who brings out the best in me. In last few weeks this was the only good thing happened in my life. I called Shreya and told her and she said she was very happy but I don’t know why I felt she wasn’t that much.

I gave it a thought. What I did now? There must be something wrong. Last 1 week was good between us. Sooner I realized that my felicity wasn’t going to last anymore. Due to this test preparation and all I had missed Shreya’s birthday which was yesterday. I don’t know how but it slipped off my mind. She must be waiting for my call in night. In last three years since I know her I was the first one to compliment her. Even I used to make it a surprise to her but this time I missed and I missed not by some minutes or hours but by two days.
Now I don’t know how I am going to talk to her. How am I going to excuse? What I was going to tell her?
03-Nov-2007
Today was Saturday. Finally I had nothing to do. I and Aniket both were at home. After a long time I had a chance to talk to him freely. I wanted to share the situation of my life to someone. Aniket had never liked Shreya much I guess. Still I thought that he is the best who can help me out.
I told him everything. Everything that happened between Shreya and me. He listened to it very calmly and gravely.
‘Tell me Aniket what should I do? What wrong happened I don’t know. Where I flunked?’ I said.
‘See Raj this isn’t college anymore. You need to understand that you and Shreya are no more at same place. Now situation is different’ Aniket said.
‘I know yaar. I interpret it completely and I do care about her. I know it’s not easy for her but neither for me but she must see that I am not enjoying here yaar. You know how much stringent the schedule is. Sometimes we don’t get time for anything ‘I said.

Raj...First you need to stop complaining. See you were busy in college as well and here also we have same 24 hours like college days nothing less but you need to find time for everything. I told you in college only that these long distance relationships are really tough to follow. Shreya is not here. She doesn’t know what are you doing and where are you. These all questions come when you lose trust. Let me tell you frankly that I used not to like Shreya very much but I really do now. She does care for you a lot. You know when you were away in that party I talked to her and all she was asking about you, your well being. Raj Behind every argument is someone's ignorance and these recent fights are result of your ignorance. You need to shift your focus from Anuya’ he said.
‘What are you talking about Aniket? Anuya has nothing to do anything with it. She is just a friend’ I said with bit anger.

‘See Raj…I m your friend and I believe a true friend and I don’t want to blame her for this but you are falling for her. I have seen. Most of the people are talking about it. The way you talk about her. The time you spend with her and everything about her is clearly indicating that you like her and sorry to say but more than as a friend. You know Raj Shreya is right you have changed...And changed a lot and not because of this work or training or anything but coz of Anuya. Do you remember how many times and how long you talked to me in last one and a half month believe me I didn’t want to say all this. A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down and I can’t see this happen’ Aniket said.
‘No Aniket it’s not true. I haven’t changed a bit and I haven’t forgotten anybody but may be you and Shreya have forgotten what have I done for her. Do you remember how many times I went to other city with her for campus? How many times I spent nights talking to her. Everything that I could have done I did. Even I fought with one of my best friend over her and you say that I have forgotten. No Aniket I am still the same but it really hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be’.

‘ I am not blaming you Raj but all I am saying is that this age, this distance from Shreya and this kind of friendship with Anuya may cost a lot to you. Don’t forget the four years relation for these four days with Anuya. You‘ll get nothing but repent’ Aniket said.
I am not falling for anyone Aniket. I know my limits and my situation and most importantly I love Shreya’ I said.
‘Love…what we know about love Raj...let me tell you something about your so called luv. you spend 2 weeks with someone and if that person cares for you, makes you happy, enjoys being with you, giggles with you, cries with you…you ‘ll fall in luv with her and believe me her look, qualities nature nothing would matter for you then. It’s human trait Raj. Heeeeee people fall in luv with their pet if they spent some time with it…and Anuya…she is a girl…how can you not fall for her...You must decide yaar..Must’ he said.
‘But she has Saurabh with her’ I said.

‘But he is not here and it’s not him but you who makes her happy Raj and I have seen it’ Aniket said.
Our conversation ended there only.
I don’t know why Aniket is saying all this. Is he right? Am I falling in luv with Anuya? But how can I yaar. No chance at all. No…Aniket is wrong…earlier also when he objected my friendship with Anuya. Though I like her company, though she makes me laugh and happy, though I feel most comfortable when I am with her, though she seems to be much more understanding, cheerful and intelligent than Shreya to me, though I had one of the best time of my life with her, I can’t fall in luv with her.

I don’t understand whats happening to me. I have never been like this. Even in my college there were so many other gorgeous girls who were much more beautiful than Shreya I never fall for anyone, been always thinking about Shreya only. May be that time Shreya was there with me so I didn’t get any thought about someone else.
But Anuya has Saurabh in her life and she trusts me a lot in this. If I keep any such feeling for her it‘ll nothing but a treachery and nothing else but for all this Shreya is also responsible. Lately she is behaving quite weird not like the Shreya I left at hometown.
Ohh god pls help me out of this. May be I shouldn’t have accepted Anuya’s friendship but I never thought this could happen. My small step turned out to be a giant leap for me. And now I have no steps back. 
05-Nov-2007
Today something terrible happened. I came from office bit early at around 6.30.Yesterday we had the presentation of our project and it was very successful. So as of now we were at little ease. Around at 8 I got a call from Anuya. She was weeping. I asked what happened but she insisted that she wants to meet me straightaway. I asked her again that whats the matter but she wasn’t ready to talk over mobile.
We met in a cafe. She wasn’t looking very good.
‘Hey Anuya...What happened yaar...Tell me whats the problem?’
 ‘Raj…Today Saurabh called me and broke up with me’.
‘Jeez What!!!!What the hell are you talking? Why? What’s wrong with him?’ I asked.
‘I don’t know. he says he is bored of our relation...says there is nothing new in it now…moreover says that even if he continues, his family will never agree for it. So better if we end it here’ she said with tears.

‘That son of a ….that mother……I can’t believe he says so Anuya...if he was so sure about his family then why he came along with you so long. And bored of relation???What the heck he thinks...is it some kind of joke or some kind play for him that now he is not interested in anymore’ I said in anger.
‘No Raj not a play...Initially he said all this but later on...he said that it’s not possible for him to continue such long distance relationship…complains that I don’t talk to him much now…even says I have changed a lot. Tell me Raj what you think…have I been changed?’
‘Really!!! He says so coz I have heard such things before…no Anuya I don’t think you have changed even an inch’.
‘But he doesn’t understand this. he thinks that I have met someone else so I don’t care for him now…that’s not true…I do care about him…I don’t know Raj…what to do…I tried to convince him a lot….but he is not listening at all…suppose if same thing had happened to you and Shreya had questioned your loyalty then what would have you done?’
‘Me???Mmmm….I don’t know Anuya….I really don’t know…’
‘But you don’t worry Anuya…everything‘ll be fine…may be he is upset or tensed over something so he said all this believe me you and Saurabh are the perfect couple, you’re just not in the perfect situation’.

‘No Raj I don’t want him anymore…I don’t want holding onto someone who doesn’t want to be held on to…that guy has questioned my integrity… my trust…a relation can’t stay longer if it has lost its soul which is trust’ she said.
‘You know Raj…I can bear anything but not that someone breaks my trust...I have always loved Saurabh only…never thought of anyone else…I always had trust in him…and I am telling you all this coz I trust you…I know I can count on you…can I Raj??’
‘Yaa sure Anu…you can trust me…you can count on me…you can’ I said.
‘Don’t break my trust Raj ever…I‘ll be completely lost if that happens’.
‘I won’t…Anuya…I won’t.
Ultimately any how I convince her to go back and said that don’t worry about anything. God is with her. 

08-Nov-2007
14 Nov is our last day here in training. We have just few days left but these last few days are felt as toughest of this whole tour. I feel guilty for both Shreya and Anuya. Both of them trust me and I disgrace it. I don’t know what should I do? I haven’t told anything to any of them. They still trust me but what happens when they come to about this.
Shreya…she loved me more than anyone else in this world. Today I have job and a good position but she was with me when I had nothing. I still remember the college days when  she was making notes for me, used  to take care of my assignments and lab files, used to teach me during exams and most importantly used to cheer me up whenever I was sad. I am quite sure that she still loves me like before but do I deserve that love…may be not…I don’t have any right to play with anyone’s emotions.
And Anuya…I owe her a lot…a lot… today I am at verge of completion of this training then it’s because of Anuya only…how can I forget her unconditional support and encouragement. I had almost give up after few days here but it was her who changed my thinking, made me to like what I do…she really taught me a lot…a lot about life, a lot about friendship and a lot about love but I…I couldn’t hold even that.
I was really lucky that I got support of two most wonderful girls in my toughest times.
12-Nov-2007
Tomorrow I have to fill my preferences for joining. I have options like Mumbai, Kolkata, Chennai, Bangalore and all. What should I choose…I don’t know? Aniket is going to choose Mumbai only and so does Anuya as she is from Maharashtra only. Everyone is expecting me to choose Delhi as Shreya is there but I am still in dilemma. What should I choose? What should I do? I don’t know. If I choose Delhi I can be with Shreya but what about my feelings for Anuya. Then I can choose Mumbai. Though she doesn’t know about it as of now, I can try if I am there.
I don’t like to choose. All I want is that I shouldn’t have any choice in anything, should have only one option so ‘ll have to go with it only. I used to be very firm with my decisions used not get confused. Why god gave us this heart and mind both, must have given only mind so that we would have concentrated only on it.
13-Nov-2007
Today was the most dramatic day of my life. It started with a drama but ended on some reality. I reached office with the same confusion in mind about Delhi or Mumbai or say about Shreya and Anuya.
‘You have to fill Raj…you have to...’ I thought with holding that form in my hand.
‘Come on Raj. Fill it fast. You need to submit it now’ faculty said.
‘Yes mam’ I said.
I closed my eyes and don’t know why I filled Mumbai. That’s it I thought. May be after what I did I don’t deserve Shreya and I am not going to see Anuya in Mumbai at all. I am going to say good bye to her as well. I don’t think that I deserve her either. I have broken their trust and I should be punished for it and the best punishment is that I don’t get any of them.
Tomorrow we‘ll come to know our fate but I had decided mine. I am sorry Shreya that I couldn’t be loyal to your feelings and I am sorry Anuya that I couldn’t be truehearted to your friendship. With these thoughts I came out.
Outside I met Aniket. He seemed happy.
‘He must have filled Mumbai as his brother is there I thought.
‘Hey man! Wazz up? Must have filled Delhi haa’ Aniket said.
‘No yaar...I filled Mumbai’ I said in a sad tone.
‘What??? Mumbai???But why…Shreya is there in Delhi naa and you had that option then why didn’t you go for it?’ he asked.
I told him everything.
He was shocked.
‘Ok...ok...so you chose Mumbai coz you think you have cheated on Shreya for Anuya but even in Mumbai, you are not going to be with Anuya coz you think you have screwed her friendship..Hmmm…Quite interesting’ he said.
‘Hey….don’t make fun of it’ I said.
‘I am not making fun of you but you are ‘he said.
‘Ok…let me be serious about it…What are you? Are you nuts or have you lost your mind? I know you like Anuya and she is exactly like what you said about her. Sweet, smart and intelligent but….you don’t luv her believe me you luv Shreya only and she loves you. It happens and happens with everyone. When we have problems in one place we try to find it’s solution in another place and later on realize that it actually has some other problem. it’s like you start boozing to quit smoking addiction but later on you become addict of drinking and then you realize I wish I hadn’t done this coz now I am boozing and smoking both’.
‘What a weird example was that’ I said.
‘See Raj all I want to say is that nobody is perfect and you are a part of that nobody. We all are bound to make mistakes. You know something, someone who never makes a mistake is called God, someone who always does is called animal and someone who does make a mistake but learn from it is called human. Mistakes can’t be forgiven unless you learn from the them’ he said.
‘But what about Shreya…’ll she forgive me haa?’
‘There is no need to tell her anything as of now. She ‘ll more happy with your joining her in Delhi rather furious on what happened in last two months. sometimes love doesn’t know its own depth until the hour of separation’ he said.
‘And what about Anuya…don’t you think she‘ll be alone?’ I asked.

‘We all are alone here Raj and I am sure the kind of girl you depicted me of her, she‘ll take a great care of herself. There is something I learnt from my life and it’s that we can’t please everyone that’s a god’s duty so leave it on him. Don't wish to be everything to everyone but try to be something to someone and stop feeling guilty for yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong and even if u did then God will forgive you, It's his job. I always knew that these long distance relations are going to be the real tests for us. The test of love is not when we are together. It comes when we are not together and realize that despite the distance, love is still there… but… whatever had to happen has happened. Let’s start again now. Don’t think about what has happened and what‘ll happen. Yesterday has gone and tomorrow doesn’t exist so focus on today’ he said.
‘Thanks Aniket…Thanks a ton...no thanks a metric ton…you are a real chum…u know what is the best thing about you that u stab in the front and that’s the quality of a true friend…if you ever need any help in life u can count on me’ I said.
‘Then transfer your next month salary in my account’ he said.
I smiled and smiled with a relief. I rushed towards the faculty room and told the incharge that I would like to change my preferences. Initially she wasn’t ready but finally she did.
I went through my form and changed my preference to Delhi from Mumbai.
I came out and felt like I had lost my soul and now got it back.

14-Nov-2007
We got our joining. As was expected I got Delhi and Anuya and Aniket got Mumbai. We all were very happy. I called Shreya and told her the good news. She was extremely pleased. she said ‘I am too happy Raj that you are coming here and I really feel sorry for my behavior in recent past’.
‘Don’t say that Shreya…you know for some time I felt as I have lost you forever but now everything’s gonna fine…just fine’ I said.

16-Nov-2007
Today I am leaving Bhubaneswar don’t know whether‘ll ever come back here or not but I won’t forget these two months here. I groomed a lot here both personally and professionally. I did commit few mistakes but I ‘ll call it experience as Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
I met Anuya today I think for the last time. She looked quite good after that Saurabh episode.
‘I am gonna to miss you Raj and miss u badly .Last months wouldn’t have been the same if you wasn’t here with me’ she said.
‘No Anuya…these days would have been the same even if I wasn’t here because it wasn’t me but you who made them exceptional. You are a wonderful person and whoever‘ll have you in his life ‘ll be really lucky’ I said.
‘Then I think Saurabh just missed the golden opportunity’ she said with a smile.

‘May be someone else too’ I said.
‘What?’ she asked
‘Nothing…but u can always count on me as a friend whenever u need’.
‘You know Raj The most you can do for your friend is simply be his friend, just be my friend forever. That’s all I want’.
I hugged her and came back.

Few moths later:
I am in Delhi now, enjoying my life both in and out of office. Shreya is also here. We talk daily and meet on every weekend. Everything is going quite fluent in life. Aniket is in Delhi and Sneha got a job in Pune. They are doing great.
But sometimes I still miss those two months of ILP…and Anuya…I don’t know how is she and whats going on in her life…I couldn’t dare to talk to her after that but she is still my friend…a true friend. The only way to break a true friendship is not to have one. I don’t know whether my decision was right or wrong but then its life you can’t find a reason in everything.


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