Reads: 165  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
If you think that SUICIDE will solve all your problems, well BETTER THINK THRICE.

Submitted: November 26, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 26, 2011





She is wearing a long white princess inspired wedding gown; it reveals her goddess-like physique. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. She is the most beautiful bride of this century. This is her day. It is her dream wedding. When she arrived in the church, everything was in place; every small detail was obviously planned carefully. Everyone looked at her with admiration in their eyes; they were all dressed like royalties. And there he goes, the moment she laid her eyes on him, her heart stop beating momentarily. He was a sight to behold. Her gorgeous groom is smiling at her as she walked down the aisle. “A few more steps and you’ll be forever mine from this day forward.” She can’t help but smile at her thoughts. Everything was perfect that it just can’t be real.

The alarm clock ticking ruined the moment. It had awakened her in deep slumber. Indeed, it wasn’t real. It was just another dream. The clock says it’s already 6:30 in the morning, so she excitedly scanned her cell phone to check on her inbox. She was disappointed. She was expecting for his message as he used to text her every morning, and it would usually start her day. But today, there was none. How pathetic. She then remembered, and her heart ached.  He was gone. He died in a car accident week before their wedding. She wants to go back to sleep for a few more minutes. A few more minutes of escape from reality. Her phone rings, it was her friend Julia, reminding her that she needs to come to the office without being late. So, she lazily walked to the bathroom, took a shower, get dressed, plaster a fake smile on her face and went to work.

In the office, she put on her earphones, when she heard their theme song playing, she fought back tears. She hurriedly went to the comfort room and silently cried. Everyday was the same. Waking up, eating, going to the office was now a chore.  Today, she woke up with that unbearable pain of the terrible hangover. Another day without him, she mused.

She was angry, at the world, at God for letting what happened to her happen, at him for having the nerve to die, and for herself for not stopping him. She’s lashing out, trying to hold the world accountable.

Just the other day while walking in the park, she saw a couple around her age, they were holding hands, they were talking about their new house, the furniture they need to buy, and the paint color they will use, they were a perfect picture of love. And she was thinking that they could lose each other tomorrow, that one of them would die and leave the other in misery, and she realized that she’d said it out loud. The man stepped towards her, and just when she thought that he’ll yell at her, he reach into his pocket and handed her a handkerchief and that’s when she realized that she was crying. She missed him terribly. She spend most of her days crying over shoe box of photos, killing time by staring into space, and torturing herself with those “what-if” scenarios. She wants to follow him as soon as possible but she just doesn’t know how. Suddenly, an uninvited thought crossed her mind. She can end her suffering, she’ll end her life. But HOW?

  1. She will jump off from the tall building.
  2. She’ll swallow plenty of sleeping pills.
  3. She will cut her wrist with a blade.

Her mind was occupied by so many thoughts that she can’t think of letter D anymore.  So, she chose letter C. The easiest and dramatic-in-a-way among the three choices. And she did. The last thing she remembered was darkness enveloped her.

Her officemate found her lying unconsciously in the bathroom with a fresh blood flowing freely from her left wrist. She immediately took her to the nearest hospital. And just when she’s unconscious, that she’s not even aware of the pool of nurses and doctors crowding her, checking on her vital signs, and her friend crying while walking back and forth in the hallway uttering a silent prayer for her, she saw him. She smiled for she knew that they will be together again. She tried to touch him, but he seems so far away, and his face remains solemn. He broke the silence.

“Honey, what did you do to yourself?” he asked in agonized face.

“I wanted to be with you.” She answered with so much longing that a tear fell on her right cheek.

He sighed. “We will be together soon. But not like this. Your time isn’t over yet. Live your life without me. I love you. I can’t bear the thought that you’re ruining your life because of me. I want you to fall in love...I want you to be happy. And if you can’t do that for yourself, do that for me.”

She wanted to tell him how much she loves him, that she can’t live her life alone, but before she can do that, he slowly fade like a smoke in thin air.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself lying on the hospital bed, dextrose on her wrist, and she noticed those reddish-brown lines on her left wrist where she almost ended her life. A searing pain from it momentarily melts her features. She felt like she had at least five stitches.  And she felt that her right cheek was a bit damp. It wasn’t a dream after all. It was already 3 in the morning. She walked out of her room and saw a little boy sitting in one chair in the hospital lobby. He looked pale, his eyes looks really tired, and his hands were trembling a bit. She seated next to him, trying to make a little conversation with this cute young lad, and she found out that he has cancer and has only 6 months to live. She admired the young boy’s bravery for he is a picture of hope, and his mature mind speaks of intelligence and humor. She feels sorry for him for he would miss the adventures of life and everything it has to offer at a very young age. The boy asked her.

“What is that on your left wrist?”

“I accidentally slashed my wrist by a knife while chopping. “ She lied.

And as if he can see right through her, he slipped his hand into his pocket and handed her a band-aid.

“Try to be extra careful next time. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He said as he looked at her.

It was heartwarming to feel the young boy’s concern though she is a stranger for him. It feels like it was her boyfriend talking to him. She slowly pulls him for an embrace and gently kisses the top of his head and say thank you.

When she went out of the hospital, she promised the boy that she’ll visit him again.

Today, she laughs whenever she’ll remember her naïve suicide attempt. That was the most stupid thing she ever did. When she went back to the hospital to visit the young boy who made her realized how important life is, she met his mother. The woman told her that the boy was already in heaven. And she’s not aware that there’s still a part of her heart that could be broken by the departure of the boy who made an impact in her life. Surprisingly, the boy left something for her. It was another Band-Aid. And the Band-Aid reminds her to continue living her purpose, to go on and do something worthwhile just like what her fiancée wants her to do.

Maybe someday, she will fall in love with someone else, and she will tell her children that she fell in love once before she met their father. She knows that there will come a time that the pain will go away, that this Band-Aid will work its wonders in her heart, that she’ll eventually forget him until he’s nothing more than a part of her memory. Then she will be happy…as she was supposed to be.




Many of us are going through a lot of pain. Maybe it was Physical, emotional, psychological, whatever. A rape victim who found out that she was pregnant, a soon-to-be-mother who experienced a miscarriage, a blind man who still hopes to see the beauty of the world, a cancer-patient struggling for life, kids begging for at least a leftover to feed them for the day, a man who lost his both parents when he was still a baby, a hardworking employee who never gets promoted, an insecure-fat girl who thinks that no boy will fall for her, or a woman who lost her boyfriend because of her best friend.

We have our own different problems, and honestly, SUICIDE is not the answer to those problems. It will only make things worse. It is human nature to cope, cry a little, scream out loud, or hit the wall if you think that it could help you relax and take a grip of your sanity. Life is full of uncertainties, of pressures, failures, and most of all it is famous for its twists and turns. That’s how complex life is. So, deal with it.

You are a coward, you have a frail heart, and you are a loser, if these problems can manage to tear you down. Don’t lose hope. Never give-up for life is a battlefield.

People become possessive of their grief, almost proud of it. They want to believe it’s like no one else’s. But it is. It’s exactly like everybody else’s. Grief is like a shark. It torments and attacks you anytime it pleases.

Life is beautiful. Every waking moment is a new beginning. Live it. Love it. Make the most out of it. Seize the day! J


© Copyright 2018 Precy Jane. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More Literary Fiction Short Stories

Booksie 2018 Poetry Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by Precy Jane


Short Story / Literary Fiction

Chicken Soup For The Soul

Short Story / Commercial Fiction


Poem / Non-Fiction

Popular Tags