MY LAST PIECE

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
for the people who gets their heart broken over and over again..

Submitted: November 19, 2011

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Submitted: November 19, 2011

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I found it this morning. This was the last piece that I wrote. This is included in my third novel. Nung nabasa ko ulit ito, naiyak ako. I just realized how miserable and sad I am while writing this one. More than two months na pala akong hindi nagsusulat. Haist.

 

September 2, 2011

Moving on was as hard as growing up. How can you move on from something you used to do? Or from someone who used to be yours? How can you forget someone  you always want from the very start? How could you forget the memories that once keep you alive?

Every single day, I’m battling with myself. I have to fight the urge of wanting him to be here beside me…to be mine again. It took me a great deal of self-control not to pick up my phone and dial his number.

Every second doesn’t go by without him crossing my mind. I often look at his photographs. I am no longer myself anymore, I’m now a lifeless stupid pathetic and miserable girl. I can no longer write because it will always be all about him and I’ll just end up crying my heart out. (I’m doing a lot of that, lately)

I wake up each day because I have to..not because I want to. I listen to our song and I’m holding back my tears whenever I feel the stab of pain in my heart. As much as I wanted to leave everything behind and live a brand new life, there’s a part of me that still hopes…that he’ll be back. So I linger on to memories.

I always find myself awake in the middle of the night waiting for him. Even I know, and I’m sure, that he won’t come..

Things had gone too far. I miss the times that I have every reason to smile and be happy, because he’s there and he belongs to me. I miss us talking about being together for the next fifty years of our lives and more. I’m hurting knowing that he’s living his life well and happy while I simply can’t. life is so unfair.

Why does FATE tripping over me? Every book I read, there’s his name. I remember every little thing about him. Every song I hear, reminds me of him. And how many times have I mistook someone to look just like him, I must be paranoid. Everywhere I go, he’s all that I see, he’s all that I hear, he’s all that I want to feel. Sometimes, I think I’m losing my mind…if I haven’t yet.

There wasn’t a day went by when thoughts of him didn’t overtake me. He did well on breaking my heart because he just didn’t break it in halves; he left it shattered into pieces.

My mad-to-the-world drama is a funny thing to those who can’t relate to me, to those who are having a fairy tale love story and not having their hearts broken.

GOODBYE. If only I could remove that word in the dictionary, I would. Hearing that word makes me sick..makes me want to die..it freaked me out. When he left me, I feel lost in my own world. It’s like a part of me had died and all I can do is to grieve forever.

He is a monster. A blood-sucking self-centered monster. He ruined everything we’ve started. He left me with nothing but misery. He’s slowly killing me each day. It would have been much easier if he killed me with a gunshot, at least I would feel the pain only once then I would be numb, cold and dead. Not like this.

However, I can’t deny the fact that I still love him. I have always loved him. I will always love him. He just didn’t know how special and beautiful he made me feel when he told me he loves me. I feel lucky thinking that once upon a time, we fell in love with each other and believe in a happy ever after. I will always remember him as the sweetest thing that GOD has given me. He will always be here…in my heart.

Charmaine

 

I don’t even know how I survived. Maybe I’m stronger than I thought. The thing is, God gave him back to me, dininig niya ang mga prayers ko, afterall. This time, I won’t let him go again. Many of us are going through a lot of difficulties, but in the long run, it makes us a stronger person, so never ever give up. Life is full of surprises, so enjoy the ride.

For my One & Only, thank you for giving me the happiest days of my life.

Sa mga nakabasa na ng 2nd novel ko, sa mga naka relate, sa naiyak, sa kinilig, at sa natuwa, thanks sa encouragement  and compliments. The story of the twin will be out soon.


© Copyright 2017 Precy Jane. All rights reserved.

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