Girls With Guns - Part I

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A trilogy about the progression of a dangerous relationship.

Submitted: February 11, 2008

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Submitted: February 11, 2008

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Part I: Pompeii Draws Near
 
 
You pretend that youre alright;
The worst noise is when you are keeping quiet.
I see youre not the kind of girl,
Who will dramatize, traumatize.
 
 
 
Outside the rain was coming down in a fine drizzle sweeping through the sky and dissipating into a fine mist once it touched the cold black surface of the streets. The sky changed from dusk to dark and street lights polluted the sky like tall soldiers against the night. Every night like this begins the same so ordinary and yet so unexpected. Outside the bar, a dingy, dark, and smoky hole in the wall called Fridge’s, I stepped out of Cameron’s car, followed by Danny, and quickly threw my hood up to shield myself from the piercing rain. Inside the bouncer stopped me motioning for my ID and then shot me a questioning look as he handed it back. I looked away and scanned the bar, initially for Richard and Terry who were already supposed to be there, and then for anyone vaguely interesting, and then again for Richard and Terry, who I spot in the back corner of the bar. Terry spots me and waves his hand in the air even though he can plainly see I’ve already seen him. 
I approach their table and notice there are others sitting at the table, which is really two smaller tables moved together. Richard shakes my hand and invites me to sit down as I continue to stare at the three strangers. The one sitting next to Richard is a fat girl wearing too much makeup and a hideous yellow blouse. She is sipping greedily out of a small plastic cup containing what I can only imagine is something sweet enough to mask the immense amount of alcohol that must be necessary for this girl to feel some kind of numbness about her self worth. Opposite her, next to Terry is a thinner more attractive girl, excessively tanned and wearing a similar blouse but green. I suddenly realize she is wearing the exact same top as the fat girl only green. I assume it was a gesture meant to lessen the prettier girl’s guilt in dragging her fat friend out just so she doesn’t have to be alone with a “bunch of guys”. Next to the prettier girl is a short, skinny bald Hoosier, wearing a ridiculous flannel shirt two sizes too big and double fisting two light beers. He quite often places the beer in his right hand down on the table, so he can place his arm around the prettier girl and kiss her on the cheek. Even as we exchange greetings with Richard and Terry none of the girls or the guy bothers to look up and acknowledge our presence even after we are introduced.
“This is my cousin, Betty,” Terry announces gesturing to the girl next to him. “And this is her boyfriend, Clark, and her friend, Pam.”
I give a small nod and short wave as Betty smiles half heartily, Clark continues to stare drunkenly at Betty, and Pam stares intently at the contents of her drink, quickly becoming grieved by the emergence of ice cubes and slurping. I immediately turn to Cameron and ask him what he wants to drink.
“Whatever you’re drinking, man.”
“I’m getting a Stoli on the rocks.”
“That’ll work for me.”
I look towards Danny to ask him what he wants but he simply replies, “I’ll come up with you.”
We leave the table and walk towards the bar and I start thinking that with the three new people joining us and with some of our other friends on the way, there would not be enough room at the table or at the very least the seating arrangements would prove to be disastrous with Richard and Terry sitting at the one end. I try to make a quick joke to Danny to get my mind of this while we wait for our drinks. I am unbearably in a bad mood and I feel this disposition possibly lasting all night.
“That’s a good one,” He curtly replies, “have you talked to Alex or Sam?”
“Yeah they should be here soon. Hey look they just walked in.” I nod in the direction of the bouncer and entrance. We meet them halfway back to the table and I feel slightly honored I am getting to greet them before they are introduced to the heathens at the table. 
“Boys!” Alex screams.
“Hey Alex, hey Sam, how are you two?” I ask noticing there is a third girl with them.
“Just fine. How are you two? Hey this is my friend Kate.”
I glance casually over at Kate who politely shakes my hand and then looks hurriedly around the bar but very cool like. I momentarily glance back at Kate and am slightly flushed at how attractive she is but I remember Alex telling me earlier she was bringing a friend and there was something about her that I couldn’t quite think of at this moment. As we move back to the back of the bar, Danny has already pulled a third smaller table to join the other two so there would be room for all of us. I patiently wait for everyone to sit down and realize the only seat left is on the opposite end away from everyone. I slouch down and stare at the DJ and then at the empty dance floor and back at the DJ. Kate is seating next to me and is the only one within in audible distance. At first I say nothing just finish my Stoli on the rocks and have Cameron bring me another one when he gets up to get more drinks. After the second one I’m still preoccupied with my bad mood and wish I was drunker so I wouldn’t be constantly reminded of it. Kate asks to borrow my lighter and I hand it over nonchalantly and decide to light a cigarette myself. I say something that makes her laugh but I don’t remember what, in all honesty it is trivial anyway. I turn and look at Alex who finally gives me some attention and asks how the concert was last night.
“Oh I didn’t end up going, didn’t feel like it, plus no one else was going.”
“So what did you end up doing?”
“I just stayed at home and watched Crook Catcher then went to bed early, nothing too exciting.”
“I love that show,” Kate interjects, “Did you see it last week?”
“No, I missed it, was it good?”
The dead act disinterested. I am dead. I reach for my drink and realize I need another. I look over at her drink and instinctively ask her if she would like another drink. She seems thrown off guard momentarily but then consents. Nervously I look over to Alex’s drink and see that it too is empty. I hand the bartender a fresh twenty out of my wallet and stuff the change in my back pocket. I am a little drunk so I take a breath and return to the table with the drinks. Kate asks me how much she owes me and I paw at her in a sad attempt to tell her it’s on me. The bar is filling up and people begin to dance on the tiny floor. The DJ is still looking down playing absolute garbage. I want to disappear.
Kate is becoming prettier with each drink but I am showing amazing restraint and I sit there quietly watching the dance floor get darker and more crowded. I look away and light another cigarette. Kate asks me something, I play it cool and shrug and then look away. I wonder what she listens to, if it’s anything good. I wonder what makes her laugh. She makes another attempt to make conversation, but Alex drags her out to the dance floor. Danny follows them while Cameron is talking to some girl I do not know near the window. I start chain smoking while I watch Kate move. She’s swinging her hips in timed beats like silk curtains in a breeze. Her hands hang limply over her head and occasionally reach for the sky. I’m watching Danny hold her and caress her as she leans back into him and then away. I am not jealous but I am bored, so I move next to Terry and ask him what he thinks of this place.
“It’s alright. Hey give me a cigarette.”
“Sure thing. What do you think about Kate?”
“She’s a good girl. Terrible what happened to her. I’m surprised she’s here tonight.”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
“Dude she was raped.”
I let this sink in. I suddenly feel apologetic and ashamed but believe it would be wrong to pity her. I am even more nervous and uncomfortable now and try to block out the fact that I should have already knew this about her. Alex told me. Richard tells me a joke that isn’t that funny but because I’m drunk and extremely uncomfortable I laugh too excitedly, too maniacally. Kate comes back to the table and sits next to me, then turns and asks me why I’m not dancing. I tell her I have a back condition. She doesn’t believe me, so I tell her I would embarrass the other dancers. 
“All of them?”
“Yes I’m that good.”
She sees Alex wave her violently to come back to the dance floor.
“C’mon dance with me.”
I gazed at her intently and studied her face, her eyes, her expressions. I watched her look back at me, half smiling, part quizzical. I stared at her skin, the soft milky depths of it. She was beautiful. Later when she would extract my heart out of my chest with surgical gloves and a blunt scalpel, I would forgive her because of this moment. Because of the way she looked precisely at this moment. I told her no so many times that her look of disappointment bemused me. She looked at me as if to say she knew me all along, she saw right through me. Her disappointment was simply not being able to convince me of this immediately. But I must have it all wrong. The girl would later murder me in cold blood. The girl would later tell me how she enjoyed eating human flesh with a deep red merlot or sometimes a crisp chardonnay. The girl would later sing to me in a heathen tongue while she burned my fingers and sewed my mouth shut. But for now she was Kate, and I loved her. I loved her from the farthest regions of my soul. I saw Kate magnificent and beautiful, standing there searching my eyes for something, anything. She’s a good girl I tell myself, give her something, anything, but I stand still, unmoving, unflinching. My brain spins and I am unable to think clearly, much less communicate anything reassuring. Kate sulkily stumbles back to the dance floor, only once glancing back, our eyes barely meeting. I sink back in my chair, and down another drink, sulkily. Kate. I imagine her with red lipstick, a powerful red, an immovable red. I am lost in a daydream but it is at night so I am not sure what they really call it, maybe a reverie. I barely notice Danny yelling in my ear. Like a movie the sounds around me resume to full volume. I hear the DJ playing more crap, and the thumping of the bass, the constant chatter, and Danny yelling in my ear.
“What?” I ask, dazed.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah why?”
“I think Kate likes you, you should go dance with her.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Kate! I think she likes you.”
“I think you’re insane.” I hope this will placate Danny, but he suddenly grabs my arm, literally trying to drag me out of my chair. I shove him back, gently at first, then violently, and rush to the bar where I demand a whiskey shot from the bartender. I down the shot and order another and then another Stoli on the rocks. I give what’s left of my money to the bartender, and as I walk away I am almost positive I have given him too much money. Kate. My mind tries to wrap around something, but I am not sure what. Kate. I’m thinking of a concert coming up, or a movie I want to see. Perhaps what I am going to have for dinner tomorrow. Kate. I see what’s going on here and I tell Terry this. He laughs drunkenly and says something about Communism or maybe it was about an episode of “Buffy”. Room is spinning. Fast. Kate. Kate. Kate. I sit down in the nearest chair and stare off, but not anything, just everything, in one big blur with flashing lights and smoke. I am aware Kate is leaving. She hugs Danny goodbye. Alex hugs me goodbye. Sam pats me on the head. I see Kate approaching. I flinch. I look away and she leans into my ear and whispers…
 
 


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