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Can you imagine the white heavens
From which imaginary stars, a moon
I create from within lie

I am drowning
Then I’m floating
Then in my struggle
The gentle darkness threatens to
take over

Submitted: March 04, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 04, 2013




Where are my Principles

Where have they gone

For in my real time of need

abandon me they do.

Where are my principles

Which so strongly I held on to

Feeling like a saint

For in them I really believed.

My Principles

Where are they

When I am faced

With a choices so many

Choices so plenty

Choices my principles to help me make.

Where are my principles

For wings they have grown

And my choices

Without them I make.


You can see her

She sits

Her hand on her head

Her legs tightly placed together

She sweats despite the cool weather

She sees not what you see

for her worries

draw a curtain over her eyes

She draws a deep breath

And sighs heavily

Her age, you’ll never guess

For her worries age her

She is alone

In this word of hers

She is like the others

They have patients in the wards

They are caregivers.


As I look at her

I try to imagine what she is thinking

“I can feel them, the stares

I can feel them bore through me

the boys sitting by the verandah

making jokes

passing comments


At times , most times

I feel they are talking about me

I can see the lust in their eyes

as they struggle to hide it

Of course, they can’t

as their eyes, which dart to and fro

give them away

They can’t understand”.

I imagine how she feels

She’s just an ordinary girl

who circumstance has made an obstacle

of admiration , lust

A beautiful , local girl

she is like any other girl

It’s her smile that dazzles

revealing those lovely set of ……..

No , it’s the way she tries to

conceal it , the smile

as , it struggles to escape from her

lovely thin lips …….

No , it’s her eyes

you could get lost in their depth,

beautiful eyes…..

No, it’s the way she walks….

No , it’s the way she bends down to wash

her clothes revealing the curves of her….

no! no!! no!!!

I’m guilty as they are

For I too stare

And I can feel the lust

Stirring deep within me.


Can you Reach out and Touch

my Soul

Can you Reach out and Touch

my Mind

Can you Reach out and Feel


Can you See the world as i

see it

Can you Hear the things I

clearly hear

Can you Breathe in the air

I breathe

Can you slowly Rise and feel

what I Feel

Can you Soar in the Depth the of my


Can you Stare and Create

images from deep within

Can you Count the number of birds

flying past as they return home

Can you get Lost in my thoughts.

Can you Walk wishing you could

be Free

Can you Seek that which I can’t


Can you just Touch

Can you Say

Can you Think

I can’t for I am Trapped

my Soul is trapped

My mind Buggled

My feelings Sapped

I can’t See, for the eyes of

My mind is Blind

I can’t Think for my mind

is Covered,

covered with what….

I can’t Walk for it makes no


Like a Moon which has lost it’s


Like the Sun, an empty Void

I have become

for everybody Draws

and no one replenishes

I am going

I am going

I am going

I am Gone.


Can you cry with me

Can you shed a tear

Can you cry the tearless cry I cry

Can you bleed the bloodless bleeding

I bleed

Can you imagine how it feels

You can’t

You can only try

Watch them shed the tears

Watch them bleed

You can see it in their eyes

If you look long enough,

If you look deep enough

You can see it

pleading to see touched

To be nurtured

Pleading to be caressed, and made


Pleading to be felt

Pleading to be understood

You can see that tiny , little speck,

That hope

It’s that little hope that keeps my

Clients going.


Can you fill the void of emptiness

My soul it threatens to fill

Can you pull out of it

The tiny spots joining to form one

Can you beat the endless moments

Which comprise of the four corners

Can you imagine the white heavens

From which imaginary stars, a moon,

I create from within lie

I am drowning

Then I’m floating

Then in my struggle ,

The gentle darkness threatens to

take over

It steals in gently

Caressing , whispering softly , loving

Like the lover

Tiny stars exploding as I roughly

shake it off

But creeping slowly

It envelopes my core

And everything goes dim

I sleep

In the four corners of my room

My bed

A pitiable excuse for salvation

From the loneliness


The heat

The urge

Can you feel it

Can you taste it

Thirst for it

You can’t resist it

It draws you

It pulls you

You just can’t stop it

Can you feel me

Can you feel the want

I can taste you

Can you feel the Raw

Burning , hot

Can you rage

Don’t you just want to pop

The heat

Can touch it

Smoldering hot

Do you not want me

Just hide it

Can you hide it

Can I taste you

Can I feel you

Squeeze you

Squeeze , taste, feel


Can you feel the rush

I’m high

I’m hot

I can’t see you

Can’t play you

I am home

And I’m cool


I am dying

Slowly I am dying

So tight up

Filled up

Bottled up

To the brim

So full

Threatening to drown in it

So hard

Rock hard

I hurt

So long

Just allow me

Slowly , gently

I’ll slide in

I’ll stop gently

Then fully

Can I go all the way


I’ll thrust

Then I’ll start beating

Till I get my rhythm

And till the rhythm gets me

And try to hold on

The reins so tight in my fingers

I’ll buckle, I’ll kick

I’ll go the whole way

Then I’ll get to the peak

From the top I’ll look

I’ll shout

I’ll scream

And I’ll burst

And the dam’ll flow

I’ll soar

I’ll fly

My wings’ll spread

I’ll roar

You’ll see my mane

And I’ll have my ease.


You say u believe in love

Yes I do

Can you explain what it means.

You say you love your partner and

He is madly in love with you

As he shows it to you.

Can he look at you and explain

What he feels for you.

Can he tell you that

You are the most beautiful girl he

Has ever seen.

Can he tell you that your body is

His temple, his only place of worship

And that you have the loveliest

Smile he has ever seen.

Can he tell you that your in your

Emaciated state

You still turn him on.

That your hips

Smooth, soft, silky.

Can he tell you how he feels when

He looks at you.

Can he tell you, you create a deep

Raw heat in him.

Can his words alone make you your

Very core melt

Knowing that at his touch

You’ll pop

An sizzle all over like, champagne.

Can he tell you the secret places

Whispering , tasting ,

The secret places he’ll touch

That will break your will

Scattering you into a thousand pieces.


You’ll see only stars

Think only stars

Be only a star.

Can his eyes tell you that

You mean the world to him

His kiss,

That he’ll give you his soul

Bare his soul to you

For you

His touch,

You are the only one that matters

And when in your warmth

You are his life.

Can he look deep into

Real deep into

The depth of your eyes

Your soul ,


And tell you that

You are unique

That you are different.

Can he look

And tell you

What he really feels for you.


They form a crowd

like larvae, they swarm

you can feel the tension

sizzling , boiling , brewing

You can see the looks

the anxiety

the confusion ,the awe

like a swarm of scattered bees

with their direction

none yet determined

The future so far from their minds

the present

alone matters


that beneath their nose.

They fail to see

It’s going to be a long journey

They think it’s just an inch.


“Men ! that’s what you call

Living in bondage”

‘How can you……..? ’

‘How can he ……..? ’

‘Why does he……..? ’

‘He’s such a……….’

They talk in tones

Hushed, then raised

They laugh ,

quietly , then aloud

They talk with passion , with such


The cut deep with their tongues

They spare nothing

They go all the way

They walk ahead of me

Oblivious to my presence

I smile to myself

and wonder when, and what

they’ll say about me.


A perfect world

yet so much imperfectness

I cry

A full world

yet so much emptiness

I drown

Is it my bee

that buzzes early in my mornings

making the hours slowly I count

Or is it the wasp

which got trapped in my window net

it found it’s way out

I touch the skies

I grasp

and my fingers , nothingness enfold

I laugh

and I laugh again

first at the world , the emptiness

the bee , the wasp , the skies

and then finally , at myself.


I float aimlessly in the void

Filled with so much …….nothing……

Sitting trapped between two walls….

  1. people I can’t communicate with …or

don’t wish to.

For I drift and I flow and …..


And I whisper to the air…..and

It whispers….it tells me a story

As I sit , with the little girl,

Chattering herself to a frenzy…..

Surely , probably to sleep….. she’s

Not asleep……..

As it wanders through the maze

Of unending turns….twists. can it

Catch the butterfly , that flutters

by , colours so bright? Can it catch

The squirrel that scurries past, its

Tail raised….warning ? it swoops

To take a sip , perches and sings…

Maybe a love song …maybe it mocks At it ,

the beautiful bird , as it

Flies by…. Can it catch it ?

The Characters of the slowly unwinding Play , moving forth and back in my mind….The maze.

The little girl is asleep.

my mind still wanders and

I’m still so fucking trapped

Between two walls… two people I

Can’t communicate with…or don’t want To.


She’s shocked

You can see it in the way her eyes widen

The way her nose flares

She can’t understand , or won’t

She’s so flabbergasted

She knows what is expected of a

younger one in this situation.

But her words , earlier said

put her in a dilemma , but

she has to say it.

With eye bulging , almost tearful;

lips held so tight , now trembling;

hands clenched so tight , her veins so taut,

she finally says it,

“so you think you can bribe me baa!”


I am a Lion

That roars

Sending a terror to their hearts

A chill to their souls.

I am a shark

The blue shark

So ferocious

I tear than to pieces

Even alone

I can face thousands.

I am a peacock

I am so beautiful

When my tails I raise

I create jealousy in their hearts

For my beauty , none can compare with.

I am a cheetah

So fast , I almost fly

A few of then will ever feel

So close to the thrill

That courses through my veins

As I create and make mockery

At their motion.

I am so cute

I am a Rabbit

My gaze melts the hardest of hearts

I am that poet

Whose words dazzles their minds

Bring tears to their eyes.

I am that poet

Who but when in that moment

In my single moment

I struggle

My inks threaten to run dry.

My mind runs dry and brings tears

To my eyes

I have lost my voice and

The cry which escapes my lips

Sends chills to my heart.

I have lost my teeth

© Copyright 2017 PriEstlekan. All rights reserved.

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