Breaking Loose

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

A man who gets stuck in a room, must find his way out. Based on a flash game called The Crimson Room, this story is an enjoyable story that all can love.

Breaking Loose

As Greg awoke, he instinctively kept his eyes closed.? Something isn't right, he thought, this can't be my room.? I must break loose.? He slowly began to open his eyes, and jumped in shock.? This definitely wasn't his room.? The walls and ceiling were crimson, and his room was white.? He sat up and began looking around the room.? As he sat on the bed, in front of him was a dresser and on the dresser was a stereo with two speakers coming out of the side of it.? To the right of the dresser was a blue door.? On the wall to his right was a window with drapes and a drape box holding them up.? To his left was a completely blank wall.? He sat all the way up and began thinking, what was I doing last night? Did I do something that I shouldn't have? How did I get here?? He attempted to remember with all of his might, but he couldn't think of what he might have been doing.? He stood up and felt a little light headed.? He walked across the room and attempted to get through the door.? Even though he pushed as hard as he could, he could not get through it.? As he began walking back to the bed, he saw a note on the floor that he hadn't noticed before.? He picked it up and read it.? It said:? "Greg, I'm sorry I had to put you in this room.? Last night, you were being very ecstatic.? You were being a danger to yourself and others.? If you look around the room, you will find many clues on how to get out.? If you can get out, then you will survive; if not, then may God be with you.????????? -Brian"

??????????? Greg began wondering who Brian was.? He thought for a minute and realized that he didn't know anyone with that name. He slowly set the note down on the bed.? Knowing that he never was very good at puzzles he still thought he might be able to get out.? He must, he did not want to die in this room, he couldn't.? He then picked up his pillow and underneath was a "D" sized battery.? He thought about it and decided it must be part of the puzzle.? At that point he thought, this can't be that hard, I've already found one piece, and there can't be that many pieces to this puzzle in such a small room.? He then looked behind the headboard of the bed and found a key!? He was so excited that he nearly screamed with joy.? He had discovered the way out without ever having to solve any puzzles.? He picked it up and went to the door handle and attempted to insert it into the door handle.? To his disappointment, it didn't fit.? He then began getting angry as he normally did when he didn't get his way.? Before he became enraged, he calmed himself down and began looking around the room for something that needed a key.? He noticed that in the dresser, there were key holes in the two bottom drawers.? He put the key in the keyhole on the right-hand drawer.? It opened immediately, and he found another key.? He picked it up and was on the verge of trying it in the door when he realized that it wasn't any bigger than the first one he had found and in that moment he knew that the key wouldn't work.? However, he was not discouraged; he tried it in the drawer to the left, and found a power cord.? As he began getting excited, he looked around the room and saw that the only thing to plug the power cord into was the stereo.? He plugged in the stereo and turned it on.? Next he opened the CD tray, and he found another key.? He was beginning to get frustrated when he realized that this key was different from the others. The key was longer and looked more like a door key.? He sat for a moment thinking, praying, that the key would fit the lock in the door.? He tried as hard as he could to keep his hopes from getting too high, but even with all of his effort he couldn't suppress the excitement.? As he went toward the door, he felt proud of himself, because he had just solved the puzzle.? He had already figured it all out.? He put the key in the slot, and to his excitement, it fit.? He began to turn the key, but it would not turn.? He tried turning it left and right, but it just wouldn't budge.? He pulled the key out and threw it across the room and began beating on the door with all his might.? He was so angry, more at himself than anything else for letting his hopes up.? He just kept beating on the door for a few moments, and then the allowed himself to drop to the floor.?

What he saw, as his eyes wandered to the underside of the bed, calmed him down a little bit.? There was a box with a key hole.? The box was approximately three feet long and two feet high.? He pulled it out from under the bed and grabbed the key from the other side of the room.? He put the key in the lock and turned it, hearing the lock click.? He opened the box seeing a small television.? He wondered what the meaning might be and how it would help him get out.? Inside the box was a piece of paper that said, "Find the video tape," so he began looking.? He looked all around the bed, under the bed, inside the pillow, behind the bed. He looked everywhere he could think of until it occurred to him to look on top of the box holding the drapes.? To his advantage, it was there.? He took it down, put it in the television, and started playing it.? What he saw disgusted him very much.? He had been partying all night long, drinking, and showing off.? When the tape stopped, he was so angry because he would never do anything like this.? He was a good guy; he had never gotten drunk in his life.? He was suddenly angrier than he had ever been in his entire life.? He grabbed the stereo and threw it across the room.? It shattered against the blank wall, and he did the same with the speakers.? They shattered as well, but something caught his eye. There was a key lying on the floor. He was so tired of all these keys, but this one was different from the others.? It was blue, so he guessed that it must go to the door because the door was blue.? Suddenly excitement flooded him like a broken dam; he knew this was the right key.? He grabbed the key, put it in the lock, and turned it slowly as if savoring the moment. To his enjoyment it turned!

??????????? Finally, he thought as he walked through the door, ?I have discovered the way out!? He walked through the door, looked around, and saw that he was in an old boarded up house.? It looked like it had been abandoned for a long time, and it made him think of the old scary movies he used to watch where people were always getting murdered.? He saw a note sitting on the table in the kitchen.? It said, "If you are reading this Greg, then you have found your way out.? I will be glad to see you again.? When you go outside, there is a road.? Turn right and walk down that road and you will find a convenient store, and that is where you'll find me. -Brian"

He found the front door and walked outside.? As he walked to the end of the driveway, he realized that he was in the middle of nowhere.? He looked both left and right down the long road that was in front of the house.? Both ways there was nothing but a lot of trees and he could see for miles.? So he had to make a decision.? Left or right?? Should he follow Brian's advice and go right or should he find his own way.? He decided to go right and began walking.? He walked and walked and walked.? When it felt like he had been going for miles, he was beginning to get hungry.? He finally saw the convenient store about half a mile down the road, and went in there to get something to eat and find Brian.

??????????? There was no one there except for the manager, so he walked in and went to the counter and the manager said, "Yalright sir?? You seemed to have had a bad day yesterday."

"What do you mean?" Greg asked.

"Well you came in here yesterday, all drunk and looking like you had been hit by a truck," replied the manager.

"I came in here yesterday?" asked Greg.

"Sure ya did Brian."

Submitted: March 30, 2007

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I'm not familiar with where this came from but I think with a bit of polish it'll flow a little better. There's some paragraph structural issues but that's easily fixed.
Some of the storyline is a little confusing, you don't explain why the character felt it was so unlike him to drink. where did the anger come from?
Good start :)

Fri, March 30th, 2007 10:10pm


Thanks for reading it. I plan to write another one, but this will be a full length book, and I will keep these things in mind. I won't revise this one because I just can't do it. I've written it and now it's time to move to another one. If you have any suggestions on what kinds of things you think people would like to read, I would love to hear them. Thanks.

Mon, April 9th, 2007 2:00pm

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