Goldilocks, The Three Bears, and Abby

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Okay, this is my version of a "Fractured Fairy Tale", written under my other nome de plume, Abby Normal.

Submitted: December 19, 2008

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Submitted: December 19, 2008

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Once upon at time there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She was a beautiful child with long, flowing, golden hair that she would spend hours brushing; to the extent that all her chores were dumped on her less than beautiful, strange little sister, Abby.

One day Goldilocks was bored with ordering her little sister about, so she instead drug her on a walk through the Forbidden Woods. The Forbidden Woods was a forest on the skirts of their father’s lands, and was full of all sorts of hobgoblins, sprites, wolves, and bears. It was these bears that their father had warned them most about, for it was by these bears that their Mother had been eaten by.

The two girls proceeded deeper into the forest, despite Abby’s pleadings with Goldilocks, and she received a slap to the mouth for her troubles. The girls found a small foot path in the shadows of the ancient forest, and Goldilocks chose to follow it. Abby, concerned with her older sister’s welfare and scared to be this far from home alone, followed.

All the while the two girls were wandering, a family of bears was sitting down to break their fast. A father bear, who was big and gruff, complained that the food was too hot. A mother bear, who only tried to please, scooped up their baby bear and suggested a nice walk. Father bear agreed, and the three of them set off.

Goldilocks and Abby soon came upon a crudely built house in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. Goldilocks, who had exhausted herself with the walk, insisted they demand food and a place to rest. The pampered little brat was not used to exerting herself much beyond grooming and ordering her little sister around. Abby, however, was frightened by the sheer size of the door to the home, and begged Goldilocks to turn around and head for home. She, again, received a blow to the face for her trouble; but luckily Goldilocks was too tired to put much strength behind it.

Abby followed the unruly, spoiled sister into the home and looked around. They saw a large chair, a medium-sized chair, and a chair the size of the girls. Goldilocks immediately set to testing the food at the table, as well as all the chairs. Abby, again, begged her to leave, to no avail.

Abby, finally finding the courage to head out on her own, ran from the home as Goldilocks had finished feasting and had fallen asleep in the bed of the baby bear. She ran into the family of bears and was about to be eaten when she begged them to listen to her story.

Grinning with a most evil, wicked grin, Abby told the family of the golden haired child that had forced her to break into their home and aid her in the theft of the breakfast. She told them of the mean little girl who was at this very moment, sleeping in their child’s bed!

With a self-satisfied smirk, Abby accompanied the family of bears back to their home, where they did, indeed, find Goldilocks asleep.

The Watch in the Woods was called once the girl was sufficiently bound and gagged, and forced to stand trial by the creatures of the woods. Abby took the stand as a witness, and testified about the atrocities her sister commited daily to the animals of the glenn and wood, as well as the horrendous treatment she received by her sister.

The wood sprites, who stood judgement, and creatures of the forest, who stood as jury, found Goldilocks guilty of one count of Breaking and Entering, one count of Theft of Breakfast, and ten counts of Domestic Abuse. They sentanced her to execution by the bears. The Bears said she was delicious.


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