We miss you

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
This story is in memory of my cousin Aziza who passed away a short time ago. I had a hard time writing this so please forgive the fact that this story is not done as well as it could be.

Submitted: April 14, 2007

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Submitted: April 14, 2007

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I was there one day. I had been there the day before that as well but this day was different. There I stood. looking in on the world wondering why it never hurt. A life was gone and yet I felt no pain. I looked upon the house she once lived in and could imagine where she would be. I watched her there as she appeared and then faded away. I walked inside her home where there was a dead silence. People were talking but I could not hear them. I looked at all the faces trying to make out what they were thinking about. I felt like a stranger amongst the people I had known my entire life. I entered the room I had seen her in many times before. There in front of me I saw children playing with no true realization of what had happened only a day ago. Then I saw her sister.


It was only a moment that I saw directly into her eyes but in that moment I noticed something. I noticed that there was nothing. I saw nothing in her. There was nothing but a dark emptiness. I looked again to try to prove what I had seen wrong but instead this time I saw my reflection, and in that reflection I saw the same dark emptiness I had seen in her. Almost suddenly my heart ached and I could barely breath. I left the house in hope that no one would notice. Then I sat outside in the dark solitude of night and thought of her. With every memory of her that came to me I felt a searing pain go through me. I wanted to scream but when I opened my mouth not sound left it. I was outside for only a short time and yet it felt like I had been there for hours. I quickly entered the house again only to see into the eyes of her family.

I saw what I had seen in myself and was starting to see in the others around me. From that night onward I thought of nothing but her. With every memory that came to me the pain worsened until one day I awoke, sat up and waited for the pain to strike me down, but it never came. Instead memories of her floated around me. Not just any memories but happy memories that showed me something. It showed me that she was gone and there was no changing that but the beautiful memories of her still roams our thoughts.

That night I returned to the house and when I looked into everyone’s eyes I could see the emptiness once again and I knew they would heal, but when I looked into her sisters eyes I couldn't help but feel the pain again, because when I looked into her eyes I saw her pain. Her face smiled, laughed and joked but her eyes could not lie. She like me was remembering her sister but unlike me her memories tore away at her until there was little left. She had lost her sister and the pain I had felt that night must have been but a mere fraction of the pain she was experiencing every day. I did what I could to help her but made little difference. In the end she could only save herself. I do not know how it happened but one day I saw her again. No more was she the empty shell she had become. She had returned to her normal self but this time she had something extra within her. It was something that made her face glow. It was the memory of her sister. We all loved her and we now still love her and we will never stop loving her. Our love for her has filled the emptiness within us and that will never leave us.

We miss you Aziza.


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