Guardian From The Heavens

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
it's a battle scene from a book i'm writing. i want to know jow i can make it better

Submitted: April 09, 2014

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Submitted: April 09, 2014



“Quickly! They’ve made it inside!”

Down the stone hall, they were running insanly fast. They wanted it bad.

Me and my men followed the sound of footsteps, and growling.

‘You’ll meet them in the large dining hall’ I heard the voice in my head.

‘who are you?’ I asked the voice.

I got no response.

“I think we’re going to find them in the dining hall” I told the small group, hopefully we won’t be outnumbered.”

“And if we are” one of the newer soldiers asked.

“Then we will break them”

There was a burst of energy as we entered the room. Both parties lined the opposite ends of the room, swords drawn, shields raised, bows notched with arrows, ready to fight.

The room was large, and we were outnumbered, but we were all that stood in between the enemy, and sure defeat. Losing this fight was not an option. I was about to say something. Something encouraging, and meaningful. Something that would have me remembered for a great leader. The first of her kind. The first of many to come.


A younger man, more boy than man, and more recruit than soldier, spoke up before I could. And this is what he said there, the enemy just on the other side of the room, weapons ready.

“These moments, are going to be the most important moments of our lives. It all comes down to today. Tomorrow is not a promise. I cannot promise you that you will get to see your family, or even the light of day when this is all over. If this was your last battle. Your last moments in this life, what are you going to be thinking about? Yourself? Or the man standing beside you. The man you would give everything in their heart for. You only get one life. To do what you’re to be remembered for. To make whatever mark you’re going to make. Whatever legacy you want to leave, leave it here! You have to show them that you’re a different creature! Now! They say no group of men can defeat these abominations? I say to hell with them!! Let us show them, what the demons of men can do!!”

Fire welled in my chest along with the other 14 men along side me. I could not have said it better. I met eyes with the boy, and nodded my head, to show my approval to his words. He had an odd look on his face. He collapsed to the ground with two arrows in his back, on the sides of his sword. It looked a lot like luka’s sword. For a moment, but it was much smaller and lighter. Only a bit larger than a broad sword. He got up and pulled the arrows out, his blood obviously boiling. His eyes were blood red, along with the rest of us. I could see the energy around this boy. It was no wonder he had made it to our Special Forces squad at such a young age.

Jack stood just behind me, and to the side.

“They are ready. If we wait much longer, our demons just might consume the rest of our souls” his words were eager. He was ready to see blood, one way or another. “We only wait for you.”

“Then let it be so. TO VICTORY, OR DEATH!”

All of the men ran towards the enemy, as did I. our weapons were ready, my rapier was in one hand, dagger in the other. It would be the first time I would use the style Luka had shown me before leaving for the last time.

The enemy got closer. I could see their dark shadows churning like mist in the forbidden forest. The sight reminded me of his deathbed so much.

I could hear his voice talking to me as if it were then

“I’m here for you” he told me, “it’ll be ok.”

The last words he ever told me.

The first enemy came up and struck down trying to split me in half. I was much quicker than he was. I sidestepped, as the giants axe smashen the ground where I was only moments before, wedging itself into the floor. I jumped onto the blades flat end, and leaped for the giants head, both slashing, and stabbing. The mist dispersed, and the giant body crumpled to the floor. A skeleton warrior came out of it’s black mist in an attempt to catch me off guard, and impale me with its

Spear, but got crushed by Halberd’s massive war hammer.

I scanned the area quickly to find the source of the mist. It was coming from above. I could tell the archers were not firing their arrows for fear of hitting one of us. I reached out with my mind, and found the serpent emitting the deadly fog.

“Halberd, Give me a boost!”

I ran towards him as he held the bar to his hammer wide. I jumped onto it, and then kicked off of it, with him giving me extra momentum. Ite serpent was exactly where I thought it would be, and ended up stuck to my rapier.  The fog quickly faded leaving the enemy exposed and vulnerable.

The archers quickly started picking off targets, while the rest of us took on their heavy troops. The battle felt as though it lasted for a life time. Soon we were all covered in blood from various creatures that lurked the darkest pits of hell, but they never stopped coming. Right when we thought that we had made a dent in their forces, more poured out of the entrance.  The men eventually ran out of energy, but kept on fighting. The archers had long ago ran out of arrows, and were now fighting along side of us. They knew we were close to breaking, and fought harder but we would not be taken.

A troll stepped forward, and swung his club, but was too slow. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the young recruit get speared in the chest, and fell to the ground.

“NO!!” I screamed.

The troll swung again, and its club smashed into my back. I flew towards the boy, as he shoved his blade into the goblins gut, and slicing upward, splitting its jaw in half, along with the rest of him.

He collapsed as I landed next to him. All around us, we were being overpowered.

Blood came from the boy’s mouth as I dragged myself over to him, and sat his head in my lap.

‘You are not alone. Do not give up hope so easily.

Another goblin came, spear in hand ready to finish the job.

‘I’m here for you. It’ll be ok’

I looked up, to se the goblin right on top of us, thrusting his spear towards my face.


A blur appeared in front of me and the man punched the goblin bare fist in the face with such force he went tumbling into a few more, allowing the other men to easily slay them, even in their weary state.

This man was tall and lean. His body was fit, and he wielded a sword of Black Obsidian; a material only to be found in the depths of hell. It was stronger than any mortal material. The blade itself had only one edge, with the other side being flat. It was five feet in length, and three or four inches thick, by about a foot in width. It was obviously a two handed weapon, but Black Obsidian weighed half a pound per cubic inch. That would make it weigh over 1000 pounds! The shear weight from a weapon like that would split a mountain giant in two!

The only person I knew that could wield such a weapon was Luka, but he had died long ago.

The back of his head had semi-short, light brown hair. His skin was light, but tan. He looked back at me, and his eyes looked straight through me. They were brilliantly green, and were familiar. So full of life, it almost made everything ok. Like I wanted to forgive the wrongs that had happened. I knew exactly who this was.

“luka, I-’’ my eyes welled up with tears.

“I told you once that I would protect you. Not even the gods can keep me from you. I made you a promise, and you know my rules about promises.”

Tears ran down my face like rivers from my eyes.

A smile stretched across his face, and I couldn’t help but smile back. A white aura surrounded him. His silver armor shined in the early light. He reached back and raised his massive hunk of metal.

A troll swung it great axe at his head, but with blinding speed, Luka raised his heavy hunk of obsidian with one hand, and the axe’s blade splintered into a thousand shards. In one swift motion, let the blade fall straight through the beast, and crash into the ground.

He looked back at me, winked, and in a blur of speed left to help the rest of the men, who were currently being overrun.

It was almost impossible to see him move from enemy to enemy. There was a blur of movement, and then an enemy would fall. Goblins would practically fall apart. I saw for a moment, Luka fall from the top of the building, and bury his blade into a giant’s chest, and then push off of the enemy to attack the next enemy.

The sun was close to rising, and the shadow dwellers were strongest now.

The men had been saved, and given time to rest, but Luka was running out of energy. He was still too fast for the enemy, but some of them were able to block, or dodge him.

“To arms men! Take this chance to rid ourselves of these beasts! They found a second wind, and charged with new ferocity. They fought like demons straight from the dark realm.

I tried to get up, but couldn’t. the boy, on the other hand, had been healed somehow, and took arms again against our foe. The sight was horrific, and awesome.

As the sun rose above the hillside, and filled up the room with it’s warm, protective light, the enemy fell apart, dissolving into the air in a black mist. We had won.

Luka was next to me, and lifted me into his arms.

“Brother!” I heard from behind me

 He turned, and looked upon the boy who had been in my lap not moments before.

“I’ll always be there when you need me little brother.” Luka spoke to the boy in a reassuring tone.
the boys eyes filled up with tears, and ran down his face, but he didn’t step towards us. Ha leaned on his broadsword, and shook on his armor.

All of my men had made it through the night. For over 8 hours, they had fought like warriors, and I could never be more proud of them.

Hot tears ran down my cheeks.

“The battle is over,” Luka said in a loud voice that echoed in the silent hall, “and you are victorious! Now rest easy, they will never come here again.”

Lukas sword was on his back, covering most of his body. White wings erupted from behind his blade, and lifted us off of the ground. As soon as we got outsine and into the clean air, I blacked out.

 When I came to, we were sitting on top of a large hill, next to another similar in size.

“Twin peaks” I said aloud,” this is where we wanted our house to be.

The hills overlooked everything in the valley below, and you could see all the way across to the other side.

We sat under a mulberry tree next to a freshwater spring. Everything about this place was perfect and peaceful. Birds chirped in the trees, and the wind softly kissed my cheek.

Luka sat next to me, his blade leaning on the tree. He looked across the valley, his eyes a brilliant blue. He had changed out of his armor and into a pair of jeans and a white button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His wings were gone, and his glow faded into nothing. He looked like he had been here all of the time.

“How much longer are you going to stay,” I asked

“Do you want me gone that badly” he asked me with a shitface grin.

“Not really. I could sit here forever, and be happy.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” He stated

“But don’t you have to go back? You’ve already passed from this world. Wont the gods be angry?”

“They won’t let me back in.” he stated bluntly

“Then why did you leave?”

“I knew what I was doing when I left,” he told me. “I have accepted my fate, made my decision, and am happy with the outcome. There is nothing else I could possibly ask for.”

I leaned against him, and rested my head onto his shoulder, looking across the valley.

“You saved them,” he told me. “You saved every innocent person down there from a great evil.”

“You saved me from a great evil. I only fought to keep the people I care about alive. To be like you.”

Luka laughed a little bit.

“what’s so funny I asked hi,,” a smile playing on my lips. It had been a long time since I had heard his laughed, and didn’t realize how much I missed it.

“Nothing really. I just find it ironic that you’ve been trying to be like we,” he said with a smile,” because I’ve always tried to be more like you.

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