Lost

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short story about the love and torment Dementia can bring.

Submitted: January 06, 2014

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Submitted: January 06, 2014

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~~Lost

She glanced over at him sat in the comfy chair, the sun glowing him up. She looked at him longingly as if waiting for him to pick up on it, she knew he wouldn’t, she knew she had already lost him.
Specky (aka Jeff) had been diagnosed with a Dementia two years earlier. He was her life. They had been married for 45 years. When Specky had received his diagnosis, Cecelia made it clear he would not be going into a care home.
Cecelia got out of her chair, walked across to Specky who was playing with the threads on a tea towel. At this stage he had no concept of what time of day it was, where he was, or what he was doing, but as long as Cecelia was there he sensed he was safe. Cecelia stroked his white whispery hair and kissed his little bald spot softly, he lifted his head up and looked at her, directly at her and smiled, for that moment, that split second, it was like he had come back to her. She quickly shut her eyes tight and walked away into the kitchen; she knew he would never come back to her.
Cecelia started to plan what they would be buying from the supermarket that day, she came from the kitchen and told Specky “ put on your shoes, whilst I just nip to the loo and get ready” she placed the shoes directly in front of him. She came from the bathroom and heard the taxi outside beep his horn, she noticed that Specky hadn’t even moved. “Come on”, her voice frustrated now, “we have to go”, Specky didn’t say anything, and Cecelia dropped to her knees and pulled off Specky’s slippers, “Ouch”! He said “well if you would have done it yourself” “it’s like having a toddler”, she muttered whilst trying to squeeze Specky’s feet into his shoes, “I’m too old for this, you hear me” her voice still frustrated. Specky looked at Cecelia, “I’m sorry”, Cecelia realised she was getting wound up, she sat back on her knees and looked at Specky she held his hand, “I do love you, I’m sorry, it’s just so hard for me”, by this time Specky s concentration had gone and he was pulling threads from the tea towel again. Cecelia waved at the taxi outside that was beeping furiously now, she coaxed Specky up, linked arms and set off.
The shopping trip was as difficult as ever, despite the Dementia Cecelia found Specky more distant than usual today. Whilst Cecelia was choosing some meat from the butcher counter, Specky was looking at some fresh fish, Cecelia was talking to the butcher when she heard “I hope you plan on paying for that”, she turned around to see that Specky had picked up a rainbow trout and bit straight into the raw fish, a couple of people in the vicinity commented “people like that shouldn’t be allowed out, they need locking up”! usually Cecelia would let this go, but not today, “actually that’s my husband”, “ well you need to keep a closer eye on him then” one of the customers said, “ he’s scared my child eating that raw fish”, “ why, it’s no different than sushi” Cecelia said, she took her husband’s hand and walked away.
Once the shopping had been paid for she collared a member of staff and asked her if she could watch Specky for two minutes whilst she ‘spends a penny’, that’s fine said the worker. When Cecelia emerged from the toilet, she seen the trolley, but no husband, she started to panic. She found the worker, who said she had been called away and apologised. Cecelia was really worried now, she found a manager, she explained about Specky’s illness and what he looked like, they searched the store and grounds, he wasn’t there. Cecelia and Specky had no family, so no-one she could call on. The manager contacted the police, they drove her home and looked out for him on the way, they didn’t see him. Back at the house Cecelia got out a picture for the police officers, they tried to reassure her that he would show up somewhere.
After the police had left it started to get dark, Cecelia was more worried than ever now, it was October and dark nights were drawing in quickly and cold too. Cecelia thought to herself, he’s only got a jacket on; he’ll be freezing, hungry and lost.
She called the police who said they haven’t had any sighting of him yet and be patient, she thought to herself, how can I be.
She grabbed a small rucksack from under the stairs, they used to use when they went walking, she put a small blanket in it and a flask of tea and biscuits, despite the weather and her age of 72 she was determined to find him.
 She locked the door and headed off thinking he couldn’t be far.
She had shown his picture to at least 20 or so people in the area between the house and the supermarket, nobody had seen him. She sat down on the bench under the bridge at the side of the canal, she poured herself a cuppa from the flask, the more she was thinking where he could be, the more anxious she was to find him, tears dripped off the end of her nose in to her little flask cup, watering down the already watery tea. It was about 11:30pm, Specky had been missing almost 6 hours.
She got ready to head off again, as she walked past the park she reminisced, this was where Specky had prosed to her 48 years earlier, it was dark and no-one was about, she sat on a swing in the park and thought to herself it hadn’t changed that much really. As if going back in time, Cecelia walked the ‘old route’ down the side of the dam, her an Specky spent many a night laid out on the grassy banking together, sharing ideas of what pictures they could see in the stars. She stood for a moment, the big moon light bouncing off the dam and making her face glisten, with all the moisturizer that she used, she looked across the dam, near the bushes, she thinks she sees Specky, she wasn’t sure, she was very tired and cold. She approached the heap, and then she recognised his shoes, only Specky has size 15 feet! She starts walking faster shouting his name, he flinches; she walks faster and drops to her knees in front of him. He’s laid on his side, she pulls him round to look at her, he has blood on his face and his neck, he looks full of fear with tears in his eyes, what’s happened Specky, who did this to you, where’s your necklace and bracelet. By the look on him Cecelia assumed he had been mugged. She took the blanket out of the bag and shuffled herself up to Specky and held him tight, she put the blanket over them both and said to him “don’t worry love we’ll set off soon and get you into bed”.
Specky held Cecelia hand tightly, she kissed the top of his head like she always did, she told him she’d been looking for him, for the first time in a long time Specky spoke coherently, “I love you, I’m lost” he said, she stroked his white whispery hair, I found you, she said kissing his head with tears streaming down her face, together always Specky, you just remember that!
 The pair lay embraced all night.
Early morning a fisherman had come to the dam and seen the pair snuggled up, he walked over and tapped Specky on the shoulder, there was no response, he tried to wake Cecelia, there was no response, he pulled the blanket over their heads and phoned for the police.
Cecelia and Specky were found together, forever, lost no more.
Goodnight shining stars.

 


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