her hand in mine

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
the day my life changed

Submitted: April 04, 2011

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Submitted: April 04, 2011



--The first time I saw her--

I couldn’t feel my legs, were they even still their and where was my baby, where was I, where was my family?

Why couldn’t I sit up?

I could hear voices outside the curtains, they sounded blurred at first then I recognized my mothers voice. She pulled the curtain back, where was my baby? My mother didn’t have her.

The only thing I could think of is where is my baby and why isn’t my mom making sure she’s ok. I didn’t trust those doctors I felt like they tricked me.

Something was wrong my body didn’t feel right my legs felt like warm blubber balls and my stomach felt flat and empty. It felt weird not having her in my tummy any more, kind of unreal.

My mom looked tired and a little crazed, like she had just gotten jumped or mugged. She asked if I was ok but I didn’t know. The last thing I remember was getting rolled onto a flat table, above me white lights, and around me white curtains. The doctor had been asking me if I could feel any pain, but all I had felt was hard tugging at my skin I knew they where cutting me put I couldn’t feel much. I saw them take my baby I didn’t even get to see her once. I cried for her but they went out the doors not paying any attention to me or my calls like I wasn’t there. I looked at my mother. She nodded her head, then kissed my forehead and followed after my daughter. That was all I could recall before I woke up here, behind these curtains,

“I want to see my baby!” I glared at the doctor standing by my mom.

“She’s getting cleaned and she has to have some antibiotics” said the doctor.

“Who’s with her” I yelled at my mother

“I told you not to leave her, some one has to be with her!”

My heart was racing it started to get so hard to breath, beads of sweat covered my forehead.

“Calm down” my mother said.

“Edwin and your sister are with her, she’s fine. She has a lot of hair!” She laughed.

A little relived, I let them stroll me back to my room I still couldn’t believe my baby had been born, my body felt like it was missing a piece. My hand refused to leave my stomachs side. Edwin came to meet me. I asked him if he made sure our baby hadn’t been left alone with anyone but family, I reminded him that he had promised he wouldn’t, He swore he hadn’t. He told me he would take me to our baby. So everyone helped me into the wheel chair. Edwin and my mother strolled me down the white halls and through the heavy doors into a room full of clear cribs. They lead my to the one with the pink quilt my aunt had made. Inside, wrapped in the blankets, was a beautiful baby, with thick black hair sticking out form under her pink hat. She was so small and fragile. I gave her my finger and she grasped it in her hand holding on soooo tight. I was holding on tight too, I’ll never forget her small hand wrapped around my finger

. --“her hand in mine”--

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