Cold Shower

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Unexpected flood shoots naked man in the face!

Submitted: March 31, 2007

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Submitted: March 31, 2007

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Winter was in full force that year in Carrollton, Missisisppi. My husband, daughter and I lived in a little rented house on Barefoot Road. The temperature had been below freezing for the past several nights, but luckily our pipes hadn’t frozen yet. It may have been because we were staying in a house instead of a trailer.

One particularly frigid night, my husband Tom was looking forward to a nice hot bath. The bathroom was warm, thanks to a small electric heater. He sat in the tub in his birthday suit and turned the cold water tap on first. (He planned to add the hot water to it to make it JUST right.)

Tom turned the cold water tap to the left, and KEPT GOING. It seemed to simply turn in a circle. He had no idea what was wrong.

Suddenly, the knob fell off and a flood of cold water six inches in diameter shot across the length of the bathtub, stopped by my husband’s unfortunate face. Icewater splashed all over my husband as a blood-curdling scream escaped his cold, blue lips.

My daughter Ariana, who was only two years old, padded into the bathroom in her cute little footie pajamas. She saw her father sitting in the tub in his birthday suit with icewater splashing on him. She screamed, too! I don’t know if she was scared because of the situation or because she saw her father naked. Who knows what goes in the mind of a two-year-old?

Tom struggled to step out of the tub. He had to walk to the water shut-off valve outside. The icewater had splashed all over his jeans. He grabbed the soggy pair and put them on anyway. There was no time to be comfortable.

The wind was howling as Tom stepped out into the dark in his wet jeans. He hadn’t bothered with a shirt or coat, as we were losing water FAST out of that broken spicket. Fumbling around in the dark, he finally found the cast iron cover than concealed the shut-off valve and meter. Then he realized that he didn’t have the kind of wrench that would fit it! Only the water company did, and it was too late at night to call them. They were closed!

Tom splashed his way back into the bathroom and asked me to step into the tub. He instructed me to hold the knob against the six inch jet of icewater so that he could force the valve back into place. I tried. I would push the knob in, but the water pressure would push me AND the knob backwards. This happened several times. It was five minutes or so before I was able to push the knob back onto the valve.

Tom was no help. He was busy laughing at me because my mascara was runniing down my face. My lipstick was smeared from rubbing the water out of my mouth. I looked like the creature from the Black lagoon. Still, I heroically held on. Who was smarter, anyway, me or that dumb piece of plumbing?! (Don’t answer that!)

I was finally able to stablize the knob. Tom, with frozen, shaking hands, screwed the knob back on thread by thread. Finally, the deluge subsided.

The plumbing survived. Our bathroom did not. Puddles of water collected everywhere! I looked around for my baby daughter, but she had apparently skipped town to avoid the flood.

I found her in the front room, sitting on the couch and shaking with fear. Poor widdle thing! I couldn’t hold her right away because I was soaked to the skin.

Upon consideration, Tom decided that he would forego his nice, hot bath. He was already clean, anyway. He’d just taken a very unexpected cold shower!

 

 

 

 


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