Late for Work

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Against all odds, a secretary makes it to the office.

Submitted: March 28, 2007

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Submitted: March 28, 2007

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My hair was all in curlers.

My bedroom was a sight!

I glanced at the alarm clock

And froze in sudden fright!

 

 

It was quarter to eleven,

And I was late for work!

I hadn’t set the dumb alarm.

I felt like such a jerk!

 

 

I sprinted to the kitchen,

Shoved some Twinkies in my mouth,

Looked down and promptly realized

That my breasts were headed south!

 

 

I ran back in and got my bra and other clothes together,

Looked outside, and saw a major challenge in the weather!

For it was raining cats and dogs,

And slickening the street.

Now, braving THAT in high heel shoes

Would make my day complete!

 

 

I grabbed my old umbrella,

And then, with purse in arm,

I opened up the door and tripped

The burglar alarm!

 

 

I turned it off and grabbed my things.

When would this hassle stop?

I turned around and saw

A jelly-donut eating cop!

 

 

"Aha! I caught you, scum!" he said.

"Now, come with me, or else you’re dead!

I caught you stealing women’s clothes,

Right down to the pantyhose!"

 

 

I chewed him up and spit him out.

"I OWN this stupid house!"

He turned around and walked away,

As quiet as a mouse.

 

 

The sun came out, and I felt pretty good there for awhile.

In fact, I do believe, I almost got myself to smile!

 

 

I hopped into my car and started slowly down the road.

The engine started croaking like a lovesick horny-toad!

It screamed and smoked and sputtered.

It groaned and lurched and cried.

It slowly reached my office parking space,

And finally died.

 

 

I cautiously stepped out and started walking ‘cross the lot.

I promptly stepped in chewing gum the sun had made real hot!

It was green and soft and stringy,

And it made a squishy sound.

I could have choked the idiot

Who’d left it on the ground!

 

 

My officemates all giggled as I slumped into my chair,

And THAT’S when I remembered ‘bout the curlers in my hair!

 

 

And THAT was not the only thing.

I realized with dismay

That yesterday was Friday.

I don’t WORK on Saturday!

 


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