A Call to Premarital Abstinence

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

It seems today many young Christians aren't willing to give their sex lives up to Christ. If you are an unmarried Christian, whether you are merely tempted to engage in sex or have already given in to this temptation, I believe we are made for more. Christ can satisfy us and conquer our sins.

A Call to Premarital Abstinence


I write this not as a prude, but as one who has faced the pain of sexual sin. Among many professing Christians there is apathy towards fighting sin. We either accept the false belief that we cannot change, or we buy into the dangerous attitude that we have already messed up and therefore, mine as well continue on the same fallen path. The truth is, the root at the bottom of both of these issues is a faith problem. We lack faith in the transformative power of Christ destroying our sin on the cross or we lack faith in the promise of God to fully satisfy us in Himself (perhaps both). Though much of these concepts can be applied to sin as a whole, and certainly towards sexual lust as a whole, I wanted to focus on premarital sex as it is apparent that our generation of Christians has become lackadaisical toward combating and placing safeguards against this particular sin. Now, to get this out of the way, WHO CARES IF YOU AREN’T A VIRGIN. Obviously, I urge you if you are a virgin to stay one, but I write to you whether you are a virgin or not, whether you have children or not, whether you are living with your significant other or not, whether you were previously married or not. I address all of the unmarried followers of Christ.

So, who cares if you aren’t a virgin? I have to admit, I did partially use that sentence as an attention grabber (hence the caps) but, it does serve additional purpose. The point I was making in that declaration is that even if you have had sex prior to marriage, you can still make the decision to chasten yourself and commit to remaining abstinent from now until the day you do get married before God. Also, in no way do I write this article in judgement but, in encouragement. For did you not know, “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). Like I said, I write this because I believe we have been lackadaisical in combating the temptation to premarital sex and in encouraging others to do the same.

I have not been a fan of Justin Bieber, but perhaps currently I am in a sense. What in the world does Justin Bieber have to do with me encouraging you to practice premarital abstinence? Honestly, everything. A little over a month ago a friend of mine shared through social media an article wherein Justin Bieber explains his recommitment to putting Christ at his center and how he and his fiancé made the decision to remain celibate until they had tied the knot. If you wish, you can check it out here. That, I can applaud, and I am rooting for Bieber and his marriage. What is most gripping however, is how counter cultural it is for Bieber and his fiancé (Hailey) to have made that decision and for him to humbly but, brazenly speak about it. Since reading that article I have had the idea of writing this “call to premarital abstinence”. We are not called as Christians to sit apathetically in our sin, matter of fact the Bible tells us to flee sexual temptation. I also agree with Justin that God doesn’t tell us not to have sex to be needlessly authoritarian or to hurt us, but just the opposite, “[God] doesn’t ask us not to have sex for him because he wants rules and stuff. He’s like, ‘I’m trying to protect you from hurt and pain.’” Sex in the wrong context can bring about a lot of hurt and pain and all sin works to separate us from God. But, it’s not all bad.

Sex is good, God made it after all. He also made the perfect healthy playground for sex, a committed monogamous marriage. In the right (or true) context of sex it also becomes so much more than physical pleasure. It is the joining of two souls in Christ and it becomes more about serving your partner than about serving yourself. There is something to be gained in waiting rather than lost. And once more, it’s not too late to commit. In John chapter 8 the scribes and pharisees bring a woman caught in adultery to Jesus. It was biblical law for her to die and so they questioned Jesus what to do with her so to test him. Jesus knelt, drew in the sand, and flipped the test on them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” He went back to writing on the ground and one by one they left. When they were alone Jesus stood, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She replied, “No one, Lord”. And to the one caught in sin, who under the law was to be put to death, Jesus says these words, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” We find ourselves in a similar position, tempted with sin, which breeds death. In Christ there is grace and a command, “Go, and from now on sin no more”. Paul writes in Hebrews, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” The task is daunting but, we do not go alone. Generations of Christians have gone before us and Christians around the world are running the same race. What is more, Christ, the founder and perfecter of our faith, goes with us. He will provide all of our needs and provide the way out of temptation. Let us run with endurance to the throne.

Submitted: March 14, 2019

© Copyright 2023 R. Banks. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:


L.E. Belle

I think this is a great article you write. I have never had sex or even dated or talked to someone of the opposite gender for that matter, but I am glad you are advocating this. I think the most painful thing for those who have abstained is wanting someone who is also a virgin but never finding them. I have never met anyone at church or at christian schools who have kept their virginity. Sometimes, it is very lonely. Thank you for your encouraging article.

Mon, September 30th, 2019 1:02pm

R. Banks

L.E. Belle, I'm not sure if you will see this reply but hold on to your virginity, it's a gift, treasure it. There are more out there than you would think that share it. Often satan uses loneliness as a tool to keep us down and lead us to disobedience. I would encourage you to reach out to a trusted friend or mentor. God is eager to meet our needs and I am confident He will provide for you. I often struggle with feeling alone, but I am never as alone as I think I am. Press into the cross and look for the people God is putting in your life to be a support and help. Praying and wishing the best for you!

Tue, November 26th, 2019 2:41am

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