the oathlands

Reads: 478  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

this is just a test to see if people like my type of writing, please give me your feed back and ill try to work on it. thanks :)

The Oathlands.

His head hurt, heart racing, they were everywhere. The only thing he could do was stay still and quite. The Darksiders were ruthless creatures that had the senses like a bat and eyes like a eagle, the advantage that there enemies had were they cant tilt there head up, there necks just dont allow it.

They were after him, for killing a sleeping Darksider, which he had no choice. As his heart raced he was thinking about what he had just done, what would happen to him if they catch him.

What felt like hours passed as he sat in that tree. The sunset gone, and the land in a deep shade of blue as he looked on into the forest. There was no sound anymore, a good sign that they were gone, but the next problem accured. Were was he?

The only two paths that were around lead in to places, The City Of Contion, or The Oathlands. He went down the path to Contion, but his main worry was which way the Darksiders went.


Submitted: September 23, 2018

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Add Your Comments:


Kevin Michael Smith

its not bad. there are a few grammar errors that don't seem to do much good (example: they were everywhere. should be a sentence on its own... not separating it only makes confusion in this case). I would think about the grammar a bit more since there is so much to read on booksie, many people might not give it much of a chance if they have to wade through it.
There is an interesting idea going on here. A bit of suspense growing.
keep it up and good luck

Sun, September 23rd, 2018 1:02pm

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