Dear Darien...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sort of a sequel to, Love Me So. Dear Darien,

Love, Melinda.

Submitted: December 18, 2013

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Submitted: December 18, 2013

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If you haven't read, "Love Me So" yet, this is pretty much like a sequel to it.

 

Dear Darien

I have asked myself a million times; yet, the answer is still unclear to me. So unclear, that my own perseption of what had been growing and spawning between us, is just a vague and confusing memory. Perhaps a walk through would be nice, a sweet and comebersome montage of our time together.

I drag my fnger tips along the marbled counter, the blue nails contrasting the grey beneath them. The joints in my fingers ache, as I've wrote your name beside "Dear" almost 30 times now. Will writing something you will never lay your eyes on, really make a difference? Could ink seeping into a pastey colored lined paper, really change anything?

I remember Christmas morning, awaking to exactly what I had expected. Wondering how long it might be until the moment was stolen away from me and the commotion of the Holiday took its place.

Your goofy grin was about the only thing I could think about as I sat beside my sister, watching cousin Luke unwrap his gifts in a hurry.

I wondered what was inside the gift with my name on it, your named signed in perfect cursive above it. The happy, frolicking little elves on the wrapping paper made a giggle burst from my peach flavored lips.

What I would give, to be back in that moment. For the first time in a year, the storm inside me seemed clear, and the sun was peering through your smile and shining down on me.

I take a deep breath and stop writing, cracking the knuckles of my right hand slowly and tilting my head to the side.

I'd very much like to go and ly down now, forget about this peice of paper and turn on the televison.

Instead I lift the pen once more.

My everything. It's what you've always been, I can't recall a moment when I didn't feel close to you. It's what drove the guilt when you and Julia were married. The fact that no matter how many times I saw you two together, wedding bands on your hands, I still felt that pull, that need for your comfort.

You locked eyes with me, the day of Julia and your wedding, we had only met a week before. Julia kept you locked up from the family till the very last minute, till the right time. I can understand why now.

That look was the look that set the whole thing off. Your chocolate eyes looked into my blue ones with an emotion I don't think either of us understand right then. Julia smiled, waving a little at me, and I smiled back. Thinking the feelings of joy inside were because I was happy for her...

Darien... Your name still gives me chills.

Can you feel me when I'm gone? Like I feel you... Your smell still lingers on my pillow and your breath on my ear. It's mid May, yet I feel as if its the dead of winter without you to keep me warm.

Does the look in my eyes mean nothing to you?

You broke my sisters heart, because of your feelings for me. It took me more time to get over you than I ever hoped, and less time to fall into your arms with the approval of Julia.

I wasn't sure if you'd be here in a month, a year or ten years.

I was right to not be sure, and I was wrong for letting myself fall into the charms that she had once fell into.

Everything about the way you touch me was too perfect, too elegant, I should have saw the signs.

"Let me love you forever." You whispered, and I agreed, stupidly.

How nieve of me to believe my idea of forever is the same as yours.

My hand falls away from the paper, and I feel tears form in my eyes, I swallow hard and squeeze my eyes shut tightly. I feel the droplets run over my cheeks and I think about my next words.

I trusted you.

I trusted you like the Angels trust the Lord. Everything I have ever done in the past 6 years was because of you. Sometimes I wish Julia had never met you, because then I would have never met you.

I breath in and out, trying to prevent myself from sobbing into the silence of the air.

But suddenly I am pulled from this false reality, I feel your rough but warm hands on my shoulders, and I hear the worry in your voice.

I open my eyes and look at the paper on the counter.

It is blank.

For the ink that dwells in the pen, is for a letter I hope to never have to write.

"Are you okay baby?" You whisper, rubbing your lips on the back of my hoodie hood, and I wipe at the tears on my cheeks, my lips pulling up at the edges.

"I'm okay." I turn around and lay my face against your solid chest.

"Just never leave me.

You rub the bare skin of my back underneath my shirt and the room is silent except for the sound of our breathing.

Dear Darien. I think, the letter in my mind from before washed away with your kiss.

Dear Darien,

 

Love, Melinda.

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