It Could Happen To You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Cassidy is the outcast of her school. Not one person understands her. The

Submitted: June 20, 2008

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Submitted: June 20, 2008

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“Do I need to be perfect to be liked?” I always seem to ask myself this question. Why does everything need to be perfect? I know that I am not perfect, but is that really so hard to understand. Sophie Daniels is considered perfect. She is the ‘perfect woman’, blonde hair that drapes down her back, blue eyes that sparkle in the early spring morning and a figure to die for. She has the perfect fashion sense too. Every girl wants to be her and every guy wants to be with her, so why don’t I want to be like her?
I have no friends; I go to a decaying high school on the beaches of Perth and I have lacerations all up my arms, scars to prove that my life is hell. ‘The Emo Girl’ is my title and the grungy corners of Fountain Lake High are my second home. Being a reject is my life. Only one thing has stopped me from suicidal acts, and that is a band, the best band, My Chemical Romance. Listening to their lyrics and the roar of the instruments they play keeps me sane. Gerard’s voice carries me away from the harsh reality of life. It takes me away from the beatings I receive from my father and the disdain my mother gives.
Every night as I lie upon the mattress on the floor of the damp and filthy basement, I recite the first few lines of my favourite My Chemical Romance song, Skylines And Turnstiles. “You’re not alone. Let me break this awkward silence. Let me go. Go on record. Be the first to say I’m sorry. And hear me out. And if you take me down. Would you lay me out. And if the world needs something better. Let’s give them one more reason now, now, now.” These words mean nothing to anyone except me. Only I could understand this feeling. Those words send me to sleep and those words get me through the day, but most importantly those words keep me alive.
I sit in the back corner of the dark music room. Not listening to Ms Anderson, or the class, nor the squawking seagulls outside. Ignoring the waves as they hit the cliffs and I disregard the jet skis that pummel through the water so fast. My headphones attached to my ears, My Chemical Romance playing loud and my knees moving to the music. My Guitar lays on the floor, my bag sits upon it and I notice a trail of liquid flowing from Penelope Scott’s bag. I think to myself, maybe I should tell her, but then again she would not do that for me. She would stand there and laugh as I pulled wet papers from my bag. She would tell Sophie of my misfortune and yet another laceration would appear on my arm by tomorrow.
I take my time getting to the canteen, there is no rush, it’s not going anywhere. Just the same as my life. There are no ‘paths’ to take, no ‘roads’ to follow. Everything will stay the same.
 The line at the canteen is long as usual, there are girls sitting around digging through make-up bags and applying some weird powdery gunk to their faces. I obviously no very little about make-up. Eyeliner and black eye shadow are the only forms of make-up I own.
The stupid jocks are grunting and throwing, what I assume to be, some kind of book belonging to Alistair Blake. Alistair is the nerd of my grade and is always being teased, almost as much as myself. But he still holds his head high, even after it has been drowned in the toilet. I am unsure of what happens in male bathrooms, but Alistair always exits with wet hair. He is frequently taping his thick-framed glasses back together. I feel sorry for the guy, but I refuse to get involved in his problems as he does not get involved in mine.

Finally I reach the huge tree at the end of the grounds. My breaks are always spent here, along with the periods that I jig. If something bores me than I will not show up for it. My Parents don’t care what happens to me. It’s none of their business anyway. I was a mistake. They didn’t want a baby, but they couldn’t be bothered going through the adoption process. The only reason why they didn’t dump me somewhere is because they already had a criminal record a mile long. I am their personal slave. I have no choice but to do what they ask of me. It’s either that or live out on the streets, not that the basement is much better.
Alcohol is a major part of my life too. I always walk pass the liquor shop on my way home. Somehow I manage to pass for 18. That’s an achievement for a 15 year old.
I do drugs as well. Cocaine is the main type I take. I have passed out many a times due to an overdose. I always wake up somewhere close to home. Then I receive a beating for not being there to wash the car or cook a meal. Why should I cook a meal that I’m not even allowed to eat? Luckily the money I ‘borrow’ from other students manages to pay for what I need. Once I found a $50 note in Sophie’s bag. It was her own fault for bringing that amount to school.
One day I will buy a car and drive away from here. I will drive away from my life. Start up somewhere new. I might go to Coober Pedy. Live underground, away from daylight and the crap in my “unnormal” life. I want a place of my own, where I am free.
I rummage through my bag for a smoke. I’m down to my last one. I light up and lean against the tree. People walk past and stare. I stick up my middle finger and close my eyes. I reach into my bag for my IPod. The music plays loud in my ears and my mind becomes empty.
I was listening to I’m not okay, hearing Gerard’s voice “For all the dirty lo…”
“You shouldn’t smoke you know.” A voice said to me. It was Alistair.
“Yeah, and you shouldn’t interrupt my music.” I said to him harshly.
He sat down next to me, placing a mountain of books to one side.
“What are you doing?” I asked him cruelly.
“You looked lonely. I thought you might want some company.” He replied as he adjusted his glasses.
“Well I don’t! So go find someone else to annoy you little runt!”
He picked up his books and walked off.
I hate it when people do that. They get bored and decide to annoy “The Emo Girl”.
“Look who it is.” Sophie said as she and her sheep approached me.
“Hi Cassidy.” Penelope said arrogantly.
“Piss off!” I yelled back.
“Someone’s touchy today.” Maili commented.
I’ve always wondered if it’s just coincidence that Maili means sea of bitterness, or if her parents actually knew that when they named her.
“I thought I told you to piss off.”
“Oh you did, but we’re not going anywhere Emo Girl.” Seanna replied.
“If you don’t go now…” I reached into my bag. ”I’ll slit you.” I held up the blade to show my seriousness.
All the girls screamed and ran over to the jocks. I laughed at them and sat back down. Only they would do something that stupid.
Sebastian, Riley, Hayden and Alex approached me, but the populars’ just stayed back behind the canteen.
“We heard you been messin’ with our gals’.” Alex said with a serious tone.
“So? What if I have? It’s not like you guys are much of a threat. Remember I’m the one with the blade.” I told them.
“Listen ‘ere bitch. We run the school. So you’d better drop the blade.” Riley said, anger deep in his voice.
“I’m shaking in my boots, and I’m not even wearing any.” I said sarcastically.
Alex threw a punch. I fell back and hit the tree. I could feel the pain rising up my back.
“Leave her alone guys!” Sebastian yelled.
“Who’s side are you on dude?” Hayden announced with anger.
“Let’s go guys, we already hurt er’. Maybe next time she’ll remember to leave our babes alone.” Alex said as he walked off.
The pain was excruciating. My body ached and I could still here Gerard’s voice coming from my headphones.
“Are you ok?” Sebastian asked me.
“No, not that you care.”
“I do care. Alex shouldn’t have punched you and the girls shouldn’t have wound you up.”
He put his hand out and helped me up. I had no idea that jocks could be so considerate. My back was killing me and I knew that tonight would make it worse. That lumpy mattress would put me in more pain.
Sebastian dropped his bag beside me and sat down. He could see that I was in pain and that every move hurt more than the last.
“I think you might have broken something. We need to get you to the nurse.” He told me as he got up.
“We?” I asked.
“That’s what I said.”
“I’m not going.”
“Why not?” he asked, concern in his voice.
“Cause if I go she will see my lacerations and send me to some councilor. I don’t need some stuck-up, overpaid, antagonistic jerk telling me ‘bout all these problems that I have.”
“You’ll only get worse if you don’t go.”
“It’s not like I have a reason to live anyway.” I told him.
“What if I went out with you… on a date. Is that a good enough reason to keep living?” he asked me.
I could tell that he was not joking. There was seriousness in his tone and on his face. He looked like Gerard when he was singing on the I’m not okay film clip. There was a serious look on his face too, it was kind of scary, but I liked it.
“Why would you even want to date me?”
“Because I care about you. I am sick of dating girls like Maili. I’m not doing this just to stop you from dying, I’m doing this because I genuinely like you.”
For the first time I blushed. My back was still in pain, but now my throat was too, not from the punch, though.
“Fine, I’ll go out with you.”
“Really?” he asked.
“No! You are just some stupid jock. Go back to Maili!” I screamed at him as I limped away in pain.
Saying that to him was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My heart told me to turn back, but my mind told me to press on. My back was still hurting, maybe I did break something. My heart was still telling me to turn back. I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned around, but he was gone. He was with Maili, he’s arms were wrapped around her. Then he placed a kiss on her cheek. I felt like my heart had just stopped beating, like I was dead. Everything had stopped when his lips landed on her, his cherry red, plump, mesmerizing lips.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran. I didn’t know where I was going, my legs just kept moving. The pain was still there, in both my back and my heart. Now my heart was pounding, unlike the pause it was on before. Finally I just couldn’t run anymore. I fell to my knees and hit the ground hard. At this point I had wished that I hadn’t started smoking.
Coincidently, I had fallen out the front of the liquor shop. I got up and went into the store. No one was watching me, so I just took a bottle of vodka and walked right out the door.
I went to the park. It was quiet. All the children were at school and the adults were at work. I went over to my special place in the park, a dark little cove surrounded by bushes. I sat in there and opened the bottle. I took a few mouthfuls of liquor then got my blade out of my bag. I put it to my arm and cut. It sliced right through the skin. Blood appeared, then gushed out the small slit. Tears were rolling down my face.
It started to rain. It began slow then it just poured and poured. I took another sip of vodka. By this time the bottle was half gone. Blood still came from the slit on my arm. It started to pool on the ground. Thunder roared in the dark clouded sky. Flashes of lightning came like the lights at a concert.
The sky got darker and darker, the rain got heavier. I thought for a second that I was loosing my mind as a voice came calling my name.
“Cassidy!”
The voice sounded familiar, but it was hard to tell who’s it was from the noise of the storm.
“Here you are.”
It was Sebastian. He was soaking wet and his green eyes were staring at me.
“I have to give you someth…” His voice trailed off when he saw the cut on my arm and the blood covered blade next to me.
“You cut yourself.” He said softly.
“Yeah, and you kissed Maili.” I replied back to him.
“I won’t be kissing her again.”
“Yes you will…” I began.
“No I won’t.”
“And why would that be? Huh?” I asked him viciously.
“Because you’re the one I’m going to kiss.” He said as he leaned over towards me.
He kissed me. His lips were warm on mine. He put his arms around me and held me close. For a split second I felt liked, loved. Then…
“Get the hell off me!” I shouted as I pulled away from him.
“What the hell?! You kissed me back!”
“It was a mistake!”
I grabbed my things and ran off. My blade still laid there and the now empty bottle was next to it. I had left him there. I just couldn’t stay.
He chased after me and caught hold of my arm. I got swung around and he held me and kissed me again. This kiss was harder than the first, but it felt just as good.
There we were, just kissing in the rain. I couldn’t bare to pull myself away from him. It was so cold, but I felt warm. My bag was getting soaked as it laid on the path. I had let it go when he swung me around. My black hair was clinging to my face, but I didn’t care. There was such passion between us.
He finally let me go.
“I’m sorry.” Sebastian said softly.
“For what?” I curelessly asked.
“For kissing Maili. But I want you to know that I did that to make you jealous.”
“I have to go.” I said to him.
“Why?”
“I can’t explain.”
I ran home.
As soon as I opened the front door a coarse hand slapped me across the face. I screamed in pain, and for that my father hit me again. My mother was sitting in her chair. She ignored me completely, not even a flinch when his hand hit my skin.
“Where the hell were you! We are starved!” He shouted at me.
“You have two bloody hands! Make your own damn food!”
For that he slapped me again. I could see the bruises starting to appear on my skin in the big mirror.
“Such Insolence!” he screamed.
He pushed me back and I fell through the glass of the front door. I got scraped on my sides and I hit the concrete step. I was in agonizing pain. I was screaming and blood was coming from the slits on my sides. He walked outside and kicked me in the stomach and told me to never come back.
I was just laying there. I was in too much pain to move. Everything hurt. I had no where to go. I felt like a beached whale. I was stuck. I thought I was going to die.
Sebastian came up the street carrying my bag. He saw me laying there.
“Cassidy! Are you ok? What happened?” He asked.
“My…da…he…he bash…d…” I couldn’t get any more words to come out of my mouth.
He picked me up and carried me. I passed out in his arms.
At the hospital…
“Please wake up.” Sebastian whispered. ”I don’t want you to go.”
“You never give up do you?” I managed to say.
“Not when it involves you.”
“Where am I?”
“In hospital. Do you remember what happened?” Sebastian asked with caution.
“The last thing I remember is falling through the door.”
“Don’t sit up.” He said to me.
“Why?”
“There is a large piece of glass in you. They don’t want to remove it just yet.”
“If I sit up, will I die?” I asked him.
“Most likely.”
“Is there a CD player around here somewhere?”
“I can find out.” He replied. ”I’ll be right back.”
I knew what I was about to do. I had to end my life. I couldn’t keep living like this. It would hurt him, but he would be better off without me. I would solve all the problems I have caused with just one move. I will receive no more beatings and no more disdain. I would never have to hear them insult me again. There would be no more Sophie or Penelope or Maili or Seanna. Things would be over as quickly as they had begun.
“I found one.” Sebastian said as he came back into the room.
“There is a CD in my bag called The Black Parade. Can you put it on for me please?” I said.
“Ok.”
He did as I said.
“If I were to die, what would your last words for me be?” I asked him.
“My last words would be… I will never love anyone but you.” He said to me.
“Do you truly mean that?” I asked him.
“Of course I do. Why would I lie about something as serious as that?”
“I have been lied to so many times that I can no longer tell when the truth is being told.”
“I would never lie to you, cross my heart and hope to die.”
“My saying is different to that.” I say.
“Yeah, What is it then?”
“Cross my heart and hope to be cut into a million pieces for the rest of my days.”
He laughed at this.
“That’s a good one. Unfortunately you’d have many days to put up with that pain.”
“No I wouldn’t.” I say to him.
“Why is… oh no. You can’t!”
“I have to. It’s what’s best.” I reply.
“For who? Huh? Certainly not for me or yourself.”
“It is best for me. What? Did you think that today was the first time that my father had hurt me?” I ask.
“Well, yeah. Isn’t it?”
“He has hurt me many times.”
“You can’t kill yourself. Please, just reconcider. I need you.” He says to me, as a terribly sad look crosses his face.
“You say that now, but it’s not true. You would be better off without me.”
A tear ran down his cheek as he shook his head in disbelief.
“No one knows what’s best for me, except me. I would rather die a thousand deaths than see you leave me now.” Sebastian said.
“Then don’t look, cause it’s time, time for me to stop the path of destruction that I have created.” I say.
Those were my final words, I sit up and the glass goes further into me. I scream and die.
“NO! I need you Cassidy!”
He cried. There was nothing he could do but cry.
“I thought you loved me!” he screamed as tears ran down his cheeks.
The End was playing when I died. I died while listening to My Chemical Romance.
“Now come one come all to this tragic affair, Wipe off that make-up - what’s in is despair, So throw on that black dress, Mix in with the lot, You might wake up and notice your someone your not, If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out first hand what it’s like to be me, So gather round piggies and kiss this goodbye, I’d encourage your smiles and I’ll expect you won’t cry.”
These were the last lyric’s I heard of My Chemical Romance. This song was my ending and my new beginning all in one. I only truly had left one person behind that I loved, but I had left behind a friend in which I hadn’t noticed had existed before I died. Alistair Blake was that friend.
 
My funeral was sad for the two that where there. Alistair and Sebastian were the only ones that made the effort to come.
Sebastian had the final words in my funeral and these were:
“I saw you for you
 I loved you for you
 Only I could see your true side
 The one that I love and the one I watched die.”


© Copyright 2017 Rachel Ferrett. All rights reserved.

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