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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
I realise for the first time she's beautiful.

Not the the usual beauty,or even the beauty that makes you want to just stare. It's the beauty that scares you. At least,it scared me. I don't know how I never noticed it before. She was really pale,and her eyes were a yellowish green,her hair was white and really short,and her fringe covered all her forehead. Her lips were thin and pink,and it seemed to me that everything on her was small,making her look somehwhat frail.

Submitted: July 24, 2013

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 24, 2013



'Why do you hate her?'

 'I do not hate her.However,It doesn't mean I'm exactly delighted with her presence'

 'Well,she thinks you do'

 'That doesn't bother me at all. I do not live to please the others ,Henry'

 'But you shouldn't be completely oblivious to her presence.Just try to be nicer okay?'

 'I'll think about it' I shrug. Henry has been talking about this for days and it's getting quite annoyng.

  It's all about this new kid,Kate, who's new in town and goes to the same college we do,and she's one of my friend's roomate. Since she doesn't know anyone they decided to hang out with her,but,quoting Henry,'I haven't been as nice'. It's just I don't think it's essentially important to get to know everyone around me,and it isn't my area of expertise as well.

  Plus,in one week we're having our last exams so I have more important things to worry about. I'm not saying I'm being nice,but it isn't that big of a deal,is it?




My phone rings,and I ignore it. I'm studying and I hate being interrupted while studying. I do not plan on picking it up but on it's seventh ring I change my mind.

 'It better be important' I say,sharply.

 'Whoa calm down. I just wanted you to check on Mel. She kind of drank a little too much last night.'

 'You stupid drunks. I do not understand how drinking loads of something that tastes like nail polish ,just so you can wake up feeling like you just got hit by a truck can possibly be pleasant'

 'Just...Check on my girl okay? And we're going out tonight,if you want to.'

 'Yes,Stephan,I will check on your drunk girlfriend ,and no,I will not go out with you tonight since we're having class tomorrow morning.'

 'I hate you so much. But still,check on her okay? Bye'

  I never said anything,but the way he worried about Melissa was quite adorable. I get up and go wake her up. To be honest,I love to wake up people after they got drunk. It's just really fun to see them moaning about how they shouldn't have drunk '5 shots' or whatever,all that with a painful expression.

  Yes ,my dear friend,I am an asshole.

  'Kill me ,please' She says.

  'I would,my dear,but that would mean getting killed by Stephan I do not plan on getting killed by him today. He would go to jail and I care about him just enough that I do not want him to get beaten by the other prisioners due to his ridiculous haircut' I say,making her smile.

  'Are you in a good mood?'

 'I'm offended by the fact that you think I'm in a good mood due to the fact I just joked about your boyfriend's hair. But you do know I love to wake you up when you're like that'

  She laughs and I go get her something to eat that won't make her puke.

  'Hey,you know Kate?' She asks later.

  'I do know Kate'

  'She asked me to ask you if you could help her study today'

  'Why didn't she ask me herself?'

  'You're quite intimidating'

  'But you can still ask me stuff'

  'Not to me. I already got used to your bitchness and all'

  'That made me feel much better. I thank you for always making me feel good'

  She laughs and shrugs.

  'Anyway,did you call the beautiful love of your life?'

  'Stop mocking us like that. You know I really like him'

  'Oh,but I like him as well. Your relationship,however,is too much fairytale-like ,and it requires to be mocked at least twice a day'

  'I did call him,and you should call Kate and answer her'

  'Will do.' I say,and she frowns 'Is that frown somehow related to my sweet words or is it because of your stupid idea of drinking last night?'

  'Second option'

  I bring her some pills and water. I'm an asshole but I'm still her friend.

  Honestly,I do not have any idea on why I have friends. I do not know how they manage to put up with me,since sometimes I can't put up with myself. I decide I should try to be less bitchy about everything they do and in a moment of weakness I end up calling Stephan and saying I'll go out with them.

  I also call Kate .


  'Um,hello Kate,it's me'

  'And do you have a name?'

  'Oh yes,indeed I do. My name is Anne,and I have to admit I'm quite admired on how much you know about me.'

  'I know everything ,my dear' She answers,making me smile. She's not that bad after all.' How the hell did you get my number?'

  'Melissa. She told me you asked her to ask me if I could help you on studying,and I'm now calling you to answer'

  'And that answer would be...?'


  'Thank you. May I make the long walk to your apartment and go through all the dangers of mordern life now or later?'

  'Now. I wish you luck my friend' And I hang up.

  Why the hell did I even say yes? I was planning on suggesting we did it another day since I have to study and I'm going out this evening but there was something about her that made me say yes. Now that's new.

  I hear a knock on the door and she's waiting with a backpack on her shoulder.Since she lives on the apartment on the other side of the street,she gets here really quickly. She follows me to the living room and while I help her on taking off everything she needs from her backpack I realise for the first time she's beautiful.

  Not the the usual beauty,or even the beauty that makes you want to just stare. It's the beauty that scares you. At least,it scared me. I don't know how I never noticed it before. She was really pale,and her eyes were a yellowish green,her hair was white and really short,and her fringe covered all her forehead. Her lips were thin and pink,and it seemed to me that everything on her was small,making her look somehwhat frail.

  Now,you see,I wasn't scared the way that makes you want to run and stuff,but she was just so gorgeous it scared me. How the fuck I didn't notice it before?

  'Are you okay?' She asks. I notice then that my lips are slitghly parted,and I'm staring at her ,wide eyed.

  'Um...Ye-Yeah ,of course'

  She starts to tell me what she's studying and since she's in the year before me,I'm able to explain everything. I notice she's actually really good,and she doesn't seem to have that big of a problem on the subject.

  'Um... I do not believe you should worry about the finals'

  'Don't you? I am not truly worried,I just don't like to not understand something that requires my understanding' She says. ' I suppose that's why your whole existence bothers me' She blushes.

  'Does it?' I smile 'And why,if I may,do I require your understanding?'

  'Oh ,because you're very interesting. I like to think about you' And as soon as she says it I can see in her face that she wasn't planning on saying it.

  'Do you? My friends say I'm completely oblivious to your existence,on the other hand'

  'Are you?'

  'I am not,honestly' I give her a half smile 'I'm oblivious to a lot of things,my dear,but I'm not oblivious to your existence itself. I'm oblivious to your presence,and most people may misunderstand that'

  'I understand that now'

  'I feel truly sorry if you thought,as Henry said,that I hated you. I do not hate you,since hate is just another form of love. And I can say I do not love you'

  'I do not love you either,but may you explain your view on hate?'

  'I'd love to. You see,love is simply the happiness on the existence and presence of someone or something . True?'


 'Hate,on the other hand,is the love for chaos. Not true chaos,but on the cacophony of hating someone. On thinking about their disgusting existence,on wanting their misery. I like to think rage is a way of ending the boredom,a way some people have on ending their complete lack of feelings. So it is love'

  'I ,surprinsingly,agree with you. However,I'd say your whole mind is made of chaos'

  'Everyone's mind is made of chaos. Humans are made of it,they breath it'

  'Indeed. People say that love moves the world,but I think rage does. The complete hate on something is what makes them act. ' She stares at me for a while and then out of nowhere she says ' BUT,what you just said may also mean hate is the opposite of love'

  'No. Hate is the love of hating. It's the love for feelings,and it never goes away. So,I may say,everyone hates something'

  'What do you hate?'

  'I hate people'

  'All of them?'

  '.... I thought I already said I do not hate you. But no,not all of them. I hate humanity,and I ,sometimes,wish it never existed. But that doesn't mean I want to murder everyone or something like that'

  'Interesting' She smiles and gets up 'Anyway,are you going out with everyone tonight?'

  'I suppose. I agreed,for some unknown reason'

  'See you later then' She says,and offers her hand.

  'Handshake?' I ask,moving towards and grabing her hand. I laugh.' You,miss Kate,are very peculiar'

  'Miss? What makes you think I don't have anyone?'

  'Do you?'


  'Very well than. If me calling you miss bothers you,but you do not have anyone,I shall play the part and act like your girlfriend so I can call you mrs?'

  Suddenly she walks towards me and kisses me. Kisses me.For heaven's sake,what the fuck is happening?  After a little panic attack,I just go with it and part my lips just a bit,and I feel her doing the same. She pulls me closer and I cup her cheeks . We kiss for a bit and then we both pull away at the same time,but she doesn't let go of my waist.

  'What the fuck just happened?' I ask,not mad though.Just...Surprised. Not only because she kissed me out of nowhere,but because I liked it. Not only liked it,but I was all butterflies everytime our tongues touched and stuff(Which happened a lot).

  'I kissed you and you kissed me back' She says bashfully.

  'I got that part'

  'Well you said you would act like my girlfriend,and I suppose that's what girlfriends do,isn't it?' But then,she looks worried 'Sorry though. Still,I thought you were straight'

  ' Oh yes,as straight as an arrow. Thats why I sticked my tongue all the way down your throat and shit. ' I say,and we both laugh.

  'That's actually phisically impossible' She says. 'And it's not like it would make much difference if you were. But seriously though,sorry about that'

  'It's not like I didn't...like it' I say,blushing. Thinking about it is one thing,but saying that out loud is completely different.

  'Interesting' She says again. 'See you later,my love?' She says,smiling.

  'I can't wait' I say,and she gets it as a joke. The thing is,even though I made it sound like it,It wasn't a joke. I like her. We only talked once but I really freaking like her.




  'What was that?' I hear Melissa ask while I'm closing the door,making me jump a bit.

  'What was what?'


  'That what?'

  'Oh come on. The kiss'

  'Don't you know what a kiss is?'

  'Jesus,just... Do you even know her? Like,properly?'


  'Answer my questions properly for god's sake'

  'She kissed me,I suppose'

  'Why? I thought you had never talked before'

  'Yeah,we didn't. Not properly, at least'

  'It certainly didn't look that way'

  I start to feel nervous,even though I don't know why.

  'I don't know okay? It just happened'

  'It just happened uh? The thing is,you seemed to enjoy that quite a lot actually'

  'What,so I can't enjoy kisses anymore?'

  'Relax,it's just... An unusual behavior coming from you,that's all.




We end up going to Clara's house so we can go out together.I knock on the door and Kate opens it and whispers 'whoah' when she looks at me,and I raise an eyebrow.


  'You look good' she answers.I really don't.

  Seriously. I didn't even make an actual effort on wearing something good. I just wore some random jeans and a button-down shirt and a black sweater. I just shrug and then I have the brilliant idea on looking at her. I have to stop myself on saying 'whoah' like she did because she looks really beautiful. It's funny actually because somehow she doesn't look like she had made an actual effort or anything. She is wearing jeans,a button down shirt,a bow tie and suspenders.

  'Can we still pretend I'm your girlfriend so I can kiss you because you look really good.' I say,no idea why. My mouth just kind of does it itself and I feel like jumping off a cliff the minute I finish the sentence.

  She laughs and gives me a fast kiss on the cheek,grabing my hand.

  'We have to talk about that though' I say.

  'About what?'

  'That. This. I don't know.'

  'If by that you mean the fact that we barely know each other and we kissed and I'm kind of acting like we're dating,I really have no idea of what's happening'

  'Me neither. It is really weird'

  'Yup. Can we just... Ignore it for a while? I don't know,just...Give us some time to think and stuff'

  'I'd love that actually'

  After that,we don't talk a lot. We go to a club and I find out she doesn't drink,which makes  me feel ridiculously happy. Everyone else,on the other hand,end up pretty drunk,and by 2 in the morning,Stephan and Melissa are almost having sex in the middle of the dance floor,Clara is actually kind of sleeping and Henry is making out with some random guy. Funny thing is,the only thing that comes to my mind is that I am pretty sure Henry is straight.

  After we get home,I end up not sleeping until 5 a.m. because Stephan stayed at our apartment and ,well, Melissa screams and moans a lot.




  After a long time and a lot of thinking over the pros and cons of killing myself in the middle of the class with a pen,I go home to find Stephan there,so I decide that I'll spend the night at Clara's. That was actually a good idea because after I get my books ,I  have the not-so-wonderful view of a shirtless Melissa and a shirtless Stephan making out. Do they ever get tired?




 'Can I sleep over? Please? I'm pretty sure Melissa and Stephan are having sex and let's say that Melissa sreaming 'Steph' isn't exactly my favorite song'

Kate laughs.

  'Sure! Clara isn't home though. She's studying with some girls or something'

  'That's okay'

I go in and Kate tells me that I can either sleep in the sofa or with her.

' I'm not shamelessly hitting on you though,it's just,I have a king sized bed and stuff so...'

  'Nah it's okay,I don't want to bother you,I'll sleep in the couch. Anything to get out of that apartment.'

  I spend the whole day studying and that's sort of it. Kate asks me to explain something to her,and I'm pretty sure she already knows it ,and being who I am ,I end up saying so.

 'I like your voice,that's all' She says,blushing. That's one thing I like about her. She didn't make something up like most people would.




  I start to think about her a lot. Too much,really. By the end of the week,I realise I miss her. Which is ridiculous. But I do. I just want to talk to her. And when I come to this conclusion,my phone rings. Kate.

  'Hey you' I say.


  'How can I help you?' I say and I swear to god I can almost listen her smile when she answers:

  'Do you,like,do you want to go out with me? Not like,not like a date or anything,but you said you wanted some time for us to tal-

' Sure' I say,a bit too soon. Smooth,Anne. Congratulations.

 'Um,okay then. Can I come over so we can go?'


  I change but I don't really make an effort on dressing something extraordinary or anything. I start to feel nervous and I just want to slap myself because I'm being ridiculous and annoying.

  I hear a knock on the door and I run to open it,and she's just there.

  'You look good' I say,because she does. She really does. She's wearing basically the same thing but instead of suspenders and a bow tie,she's wearing a jacket.

  'Won't you ask if you can kiss me?'

  'Oh ,sorry about that. Quite stupid,to tell you the truth. Not happening again'

  'Shall we?'

  'Of course'

  We end up in a park and we just king of wander around without really going anywhere.

  'So' She says.


  'Um... I kind of realised one thing.'

  'What did you realise?'

  'I realise I thought you were extremely interesting ,before we talked,I mean. And now I realise I like you. You are indeed interesting.'

  'You're interesting yourself'

  'No but... I don't know. I kind of have... Rather confusing feelings about you'


  'I barely know you and stuff. I shouldn't like you this much.'

  'I understand'

  'No,you don't. Like you may have noticed,I never really keep things to myself. I missed you.

A lot. Way more than I should've. I wonder if that's why you were so intimidating'

  'What do you mean?'

  'I think I like you for quite some time. And maybe you'll think 'but you barely know me' but I kind of do. I pay  attention to you,you know'

  'I believe my situation is worse'

  'How come?'

  ' I like you . And I didn't pay attention to you before. It's quite alarming really'

  'What do you mean with 'like'?' She asks. Not in a teasing way, in a curious way. Like she seriously didn't even think I might have a crush on her.

  'Um... I'm afraid I might have a crush on you ,my dear' I answer.  I don't even hesitate. I just kind of say it ,maybe I thought about it so much I got used to the idea.

  'No you don't'

  'I do not appreciate the idea either'

' You do not have a crush on me. Don't say that'

  'Uh...What's that all about?'

  'You don't know me. You only talked to me once. You hated me.'

  'I did not-'

  'Don't come with the hate-is-love again. ' She's really nervous. Like I just said I'm going to kill her or something.

  I sit down and she just stares at me. After a while she sits down in front of me.

  'Are you calm?'

  'I wasn't nervous' she spits.


  'Fuck you. Fuck you.'

  'Okay,but first,I have to talk to you. What's wrong?'

  'I don't know.'

  'Seriously. Why are you so nervous?'

  'Because you're lying'

  'I wouldn't lie . Not to you. Not about something like that. You see,I have a reputation on being a heartless bitch ,which means I wouldn't lie about something like having feelings'

  'You're being a heartless bitch right now'

  I stop. That got to me. I don't even know why but it did.

  'What the fuck is wrong with you? I just fucking told you I have a godamn crush on you and you're acting like I just said I killed your mother'

  'You don't know me and you're lying and it happened before and it didn't go very well and I'm not willing on going through all this again' She says,a little bit too fast.

  'Okay,just because you dated a bitch or whatever that doesn't mean you have to act like you're crazy okay? Calm down'

  She does. I don't actually expect her to,but she does. I hug her,taking in how wonderful is her smell.

  'I'm not saying I have this big crush on you or I'm in love with you or anything like that' I sigh 'I'm saying I might have a crush on you. I am not used to this whole feelings stuff so you have to be patient okay?'

  'Sorry. For being an idiot and stuff. I kind of freaked out.'

  'Kind of? Sweetheart,you were about to bite off my limbs'

  She laughs and we just stay like that for a while.

  She's weird. I do not understand her reaction,and I do not understand how I was so calm and stuff.

  But I like it.




The finals were okay. The week was also pretty normal. I didn't talk to Kate about,well,us,but I saw her everyday,and that was good.

  'What happened?' Henry asks. We're in my room and we just finished our last exam today(friday).

  'What do you mean?'

  'You're different. Not the 'woah who are you' and shit but you're different'

  'I noticed as well' Clara adds.

  'If you are going to turn this into a conference on what has changed on my love life or what ever,can I leave first?'

  'LOVE LIFE! Who knew Anne had a love life?' Says Clara.

  'That's rather surprising'  Says Henry. 'Who is she?'

  'Why it has to be a woman? What if it is a he?' They both laugh.

  'I doubt it is a he ,since you like,puke-rainbows-and-ride-unicorns of how gay you are'

  I pretend I'm shocked and nod.

  'So? Who is she?'

  'Can I leave?'

  'No you can't' Clara says.

  'I cannot answer this question due to the fact I'm not completely sure on what I'm feeling'

  'I have to admit I'm not surprised. You're kind of rusty on that matter'

  'Yup' Says Clara.

  'But seriously,can we help?'

  'I do not think even god himself could help, my dear'

  'I'm more awesome than god himself' says Henry.

  So I decide to tell them. For some reason,I don't tell them about the kiss and the whole fake couple thing, I don't know why. I just think it is kind of... Ours,and ours only. After telling them that since we talked last friday,every day I see her,I grow more and more confident that I defnitely feel something for her,they're smiling excitedly.

  'Are you in love?' Henry asks seriously.

  'No. For christ's sake, I barely know her'

  My phone rings and I pick up,not before Henry sees who's calling and squeals excitedly.

  'Hey you' Kate says.


  'Today's friday' She says,simply.


  'Friday is our official 'let's talk about us ' day.'

  'Since when?'I smile

  'Since when you agree to go out with me and we talk about us. Today. Friday'

  'I am afraid I'm still on the whole figuring out process'

  'Maybe the whole friday thingy was just a shitty excuse to see you'

  'Maybe I'll agree and it'll turn fridays in our official 'talking about us' days'

  'Is that a yes?'

  'Maybe it is'

  'Maybe I'll show up in your apartment in 5 minutes'

  'Maybe I'll go with you'

I change and I hear a knock on the door. Before I can even move Henry runs and opens the door.

  I can hear him saying 'forgive her lack of skill on the relationship matter. She's still learning'

'Oh,but she's very good at it. Even though we're not on a relationship' She answers.

  'The fact that you denied after basically agreeing kind of says something different'

  'Does it?'

  Henry opens his mouth but I push him .

  'I wasn't hitting on your girl man,calm down'

  'Don't even talk to my girl'

  'Woo possessive'

  'Fuck you'

  I close the door behind me and look at Kate. She smirks.

  'Hot' She says.

  'Excuse me?"

  'You're really hot when you're all mad and stuff. Plus...My girl' She smirks even more.

  'Sorry,I didn't...' I blush.

'Shall we?'




We end up going to the same park and sitting on the same spot.

  'So...Still thinking about stuff?' She asks.

  'Oh yes. I never truly stop'

  'You think too much'

  'You're not the first person to say that'

  We go silent for a moment,but it's a good silence.

  'You've dated before right? Not that... I'm not saying we're dating but...'

  'Oh yes. Not a good experience. Long time ago. I realised how much of an idiot I am'

  'I do not agree with that'

  'Then you do not know me. I screwed up everything'

  'Doubt it'

  ' You see,I'm not very good and showing my feelings. And I did not actually like her'

  'You kind of did suck'

  'True. What about you?'

  'Yup. 5 times. Not even one of them ended up well for me. So you might understand why I kind of freaked out. I'm kind of the girl you dated'

  ' I suck at this whole relationship thingy'

  'I,however,do not. I suck at desattachment. Apparently,quoting not one,but three of my exes,I'm 'way too needy' '

  'I am needy in my own way,I suppose'

  'Anyway.... Us. What's happening?'

  'I have no idea... You're shaking a bit'

  'I'm cold actually'

  'Do you want my coat?'

  'That would be quite stupid actually. You would be cold and we would end up going home anyway. Let's go now.'


We do,and when we get there,Henry,Clara and Stephan are there.

  'I should be alarmed by the fact that there are three people here and not even one of them actually lives here. Or have the key.'

  'I'm waiting Melissa so we can go out' Says Stephan.

  'Oh about that,since you'll probably end up fucking in the middle of a living room,could you please do that in YOUR living room?' I say

  'Um...Sure' He blushes. He picks up his phone ' Bye you guys' He gets up and leaves.

  'What are you guys watching?'

  'A movie. Shitty movie,if I may. Join us,if you like' Says Clara.

  I sit in the sofa,as far as possible of Henry and Kate sits next to me. A bit closer than nescessary. She rests her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her. We end tangled together,her head resting on my lap,while I slowly caress her hair. Suddenly,I whisper in her ear.

  'I think I figured it out now'

  'Yeah?' She says slowly,rather sleepy.

  'I do have this huge,ridiculous crush on you'

  She smiles. The biggest smile I have ever seen,and her eyes sparkle a little.

  'And' I whisper again 'I'm quite uncomfortable. And tired'

  She gets up and pulls me up,holding my hand. She takes me to my room ,and I look away just so I can see both Henry and Clara smiling at us.

I go straight for the bed and just kind of pat the space in front of me. She looks at me and I smile,and that seems to be enough. She lays in front of me and holds my hand.

  'I figured it out a while ago. I like you quite a lot.' She says.

  'Your accent is ridiculously cute'

  'Is it?' She smirks.

I pull her closer. Not in a teasing way,just ... I want her as close as she can be. I look at her eyes.

  'You know,you're the most beautiful human being I have ever seen' I whisper.

  'I suppose you never looked in the mirror?'

  'Oh I did. Quite a bad view really.Never going to do that again'

  'Don't say that'

  'Okay then. I'm gorgeous'

She laughs.

  'Jesus. You're really adorable' I say.

  'You're brilliant. The way you think and all. Quite impressive,to tell you the truth'

  'Is it?'

  'Yeah,but you're lovely. You're pretty much wonderful.'

  'That ,coming from you,is the biggest of the compliments'

  'You know,two weeks isn't that much'

  'I'm aware of that'

  'It's just... Weird'

  'True. But now I just... I don't even know how I could not have feelings for you'

  'Is that so?'

  I nod. She cups my cheeks and just looks at me,and I take in every detail about her.

  'You're so beautiful' I whisper.

  She pulls me closer,towards her,and I do the same. She kisses me,hesitant. The kiss is nothing like our first kiss. It is much slower. Gentle,really. She slowly parts her lips,unsure. I go with it. My whole chests feels like it's going to explode and I pull her even closer,making her roll on her back so I'm on top of her. We kiss for a pretty long time,and when we actually pulls away,we're both breathless. I kiss both her cheeks,and then her lips. She smiles. I kiss her jawline and under her ear,leaving a trail of kisses until I get to her collarbone. She arches her back. I giggle and kiss her neck,and she arches her back again.

  'That's really sexy' I smirk.

  'Shut up'

  I fall back at her side and hug her. She pulls me closer and caresses my hair. I fall asleep.




I wake up before her and push her a bit so I can comfortably look at her. Waking up beside her is one of the best feeling I've ever felt. Her smell seems to be everywhere and watching her sleep is now one of my favorite things to do. I watch her chest going up and down until she slowly opens her eyes,and I can see the delight in her expression as she notices where she is.

  'Good morning' I whisper.

  'Good morning indeed'

  'How are you?'

  'Oh,I feel wonderful'


  'What are we going to do today?'

  'Since we just slept together,I suppose I should at least take you on a date' I joke,making her giggle.

  'I believe that's actually a good idea'

  'But that involves getting up'

  'Sadly. What time is it?'


  'I should go. So we can go out for lunch. If that's okay'

  'It is a good idea. But in involves you leaving me'

  'That is sadly correct'

  'Or...You could take a shower here'

  'Are you suggesting to take a shower with me?' She pretends she's shocked ' I am rather shocked by such suggestion'

  'I didn't- I didn't mean that' I blush.

  'You're really freaking cute when you blush. Anyway... What did you mean then?'

  'Well... Just... Take a shower here. Alone' I blush 'Or...with me' I say,lower.

  'If the second option is still avaible,I'd appreciate it a lot actually' She blushes.

  'Are you serious?'


  'Shall we?' I say ,getting up. She smiles and gets up. While we're walking down the hall,she pulls me by my hand and kisses me.

  'What was that for?'

  'Just because' She says,getting in the bathroom.




 We end up spending a hour in the bath tub. Mostly talking,really. I love to talk to her,to hear her opinions on everything. They're so different and somehow bold.

  You're probably thinking 'you were in a bath tub together and only talked?!' and the answer to that is yeah. And it was wonderful. Everything about it. Feeling her body against my chest,holding her bare waist,watching her fingers drawing over my skin all kinds of patterns.

  'You're really hot' She says.

  'Thank you my dear. You're not so bad yourself'

  'Seriously. You're turning me on'

  'Forgive me about my hotness. I can't help it'

She laughs and turns around,kissing me a bit more agressively. She starts to kiss my jawline,my neck,my collarbone,and then stops. She slowly kisses over where my heart is supposed to be and looks up. I probably look nervous because she turns around ( I do not think I'll ever know how she managed to do that in such a small bath tub but she did ) and hugs me. She sits in my lap,making me wonder yet again how she manages to move so much in such small space.

  'This is really nice' She says,her chin resting on my shoulder.

  'I wonder how I did not notice you before'

  'You did not want to,I suppose. You chose oblivion'

  'I suppose I did. What a foolish choice'

  'Or what a smart choice. Oblivion sometimes keeps you from getting all screwed up'

  'Indeed. But I suppose it is better than being numb'

  'Anything is better than being numb'

  'Even pain'

  'Even pain' She agrees.

  We spend quite some time like that ,but we go to the bedroom at some point.

  'I forgot I have no clothes' She says.

  'Well,it isn't exactly like it would bother me if you didn't wear them' I smirk 'But wear my stuff. If it isn't a problem,of course'

  'If it doesn't bother you'

  'Of course not'

She drops her towel,and I realise she's only wearing her underwear. I have absolutely no idea when she put it on and I can't help on staring at her back. I also realise I hadn't actually looked at her body before,and it is actually beautiful.

  'Now who's turning who on ,huh?' I smirk.

  'Oh,shut up' She blushes ' Don't look'

  'You do realise ,not even ten minutes ago you were sitting naked on my lap ,don't you?' I say,but I look away anyway.

  'I do not think you actually saw anything?' She asks doudbtfully.

  'I did not'

  She sighs,relieved,and someone hugs me from behind.

  'Done' She says.

  'Do you want to stay here and cook something or go out?'

  'Whatever you want'

  'I kind of have an idea'

  'Oh,do you? What is it?'




  My idea is to cook something and take it to the last floor of the building,which is opened and is kind of a garden for some random lady who lives here but she always seems to forget to water her plants ,so I usually water them myself.

We sit on the edge of the Balcony (I call it the Balcony okay) and talk. She talks about what she likes,about music,books,and whatever comes to her mind. I find out her parents can't afford to come here a lot and that's why she's alone,and that she's actually from Scotland. That explains her wonderful accent.

  I also tell her about myself. About how I don't talk to my family a lot,by choice. About what I like and mostly about what I don't like. When I realise it,it is 7 p.m.

  'I'm afraid I must go' She says.


  'Yeah,but you could come over around...9 ? If it isn't late'

  'I will'

  'Sleep over?'

  'Do you want me to?'

  'I want you to'

  'May I ask what is taking you away from me?'

  'Skype. With my parents'

  'Okay then. Farewell my friend' I say,walking towards the stairs.




  At nine,exactly,I knock on Kate's door. Clara opens it .

  'What are you doing here?'

  'Nice to see you too'

  'Said the polite girl'

  'Shut up'

  'Is it to see Kate?'

  'Of course not. It is to see you. To kiss you passionately and then take of your clothes and-

  'Shut.Up. What is wrong with you?'

  'I'm an ironic asshole,that's all'

  'True. She is in her room'

  'Can I go there?'

  'I do not have the wonderful skill to read minds so I do not know the answer to that question. Come in,anyway'

  'So,what's going on?'

  'Oh,nothing really. Stephan and Melissa are together,I'm pretty sure Henry is dating some random guy or whatever and I'm living in my own bubble,being alone by my own weird choice.'

  'I did not asked about my friends love life you know,I asked what is going on'

  'That is what's going on'

  'You people are really boring'

  'What about you? You two are dating right?'

  'I do not know the answer to that question'

  I go to where I suppose is Kate's room and knock on the door. The door opens out of nowhere and makes me jump a little bit,and someone basically jumps on me,making me hit my back against the wall.

  'They're coming.' She says,simply.


  'My parents. On my birthday. They're coming.'

  'When is your birthday anyway?'

  'In a week. They're only going to stay for two days but still'

  'That's really nice'

  'Isn't it?'




  'You look cute when you read' I say. We're laying on her bed,and tomorrow her parents will be here.

  'Do I? Shouldn't you be reading instead of staring at me?'

  'I was. But you distracted me'

  'Sorry about that. Anyway,I wanted to talk to you about something'

  'Go ahead'

  'Can I ,like,introduce you to my parents?'

  'Of course'

  'But,like... What should I introduce you as?'

  'I do not know,actually' I think about that for a while. ' Wait a second'

  I get up and drop to one knee. She giggles.

  'Mrs Kate ,since I can not call you miss,will you give me the wonderful pleasure of being my girlfriend?'

  'I will give you the pleasure of being your girlfriend quite happily' She answers,smiling.

  'Then' I get up ' You shall introduce me to your parents as your girlfriend'




'So? What do you think of them?" Kate asks,the day her parents leave.

'They're extremely nice'


'Did they say anything about me?'

'What,the so called badass Anne is worried about what my parents think about her? That's just not right'


'They said you were great and that you seemed like a nice girl and stuff'

'That's nice'

'Of course'

  I caress her hair while we lay together on my bed,and she slowly kisses my hand for the fiftieth time.

  'You're my girlfriend' I say.

  'And you're my girlfriend' She answers.

  'It is quite new to me,so forgive me if I suck at being a girlfriend'

  'You're the best girlfriend I've ever had'

  'You must have had some pretty shitty girlfriends then'

  'I did. But you're wonderful. Don't even worry about it'

  'I just... Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for you'

  She looks at me like I just said I set fire to her house.

  'You' She kisses me 'Are' she kisses me again 'perfect' She kisses me properly this time,slowly parting her lips and I kiss her. When we pull away,she looks at me with such intensity I feel like she is able to read my mind.

  'You're beautiful' I say.

  'Am I?'

  'The most beautiful human being I ever had the pleasure to set my eyes upon'

  'Can I ask you something? What,for heaven's sake,makes you like me?'

  'Tricky one. Well,everything. Your eyes,you intensity,how you always say exactly what you think,how bold you are,how beautiful you are,how you like to trace patterns in my skin and how soft your skin feels against me. Your smell,how you can never find the proper words but you still manage to make me understand what you mean,your voice,your toughts' I sigh 'And I have to admit you're a pretty good kisser'

  She just looks at me.




  'A month'

  'Excuse me?' I say,quite confused.

  'We have been dating for a month'

  'Is that so?'

  She nods and I kiss her,just because. She pulls me closer and a shock wave hits my body every time her tongue brushes against mine. I pull her up so we're on the same height and she wraps her legs around me.

  'Hold on tight ,little monkey' I whisper.

  She giggles and kisses me again,harder. I push her against a wall and she clings on my shirt like her life depends on it. I hear footsteps but I ignore them,until I hear Melissa's voice.

  'Look,it is nice that you two are dating or whatever but I'd rather not have to see you two making out everyday'

  Kate stands up and blushes.

  'You see,I had to see you and Stephan making out for a whole year. And other things. So I don't think you have the right to complain' I snap.

  'Sorry about that' She says ' Oh! You didn't deny it'

  'I'm... aware of it'

  'So you two are dating,after all?'

  'Yes,we are dating. Can we go?'

  'I'd love it'

  When we get to my room,I close the door behind me.

  'Sorry about that' I say,turning around.

  'You're so fake' She says,sighing.

  It gets to me. It hurts.

  'Uh...Woah,that-That hurt'

  'Seriously though. You're so fake,so shallow'

  'Could please,uh,tell me why you're saying this?'

  'Because it is true. You never act like yourself. You always put this stupid mask on and you just never let anyone in'

  'And why do you think you're right? You've known me for,what,6 weeks? You see,I know my friends for much more time than that and not one of them said something like that'

  'I pay attention to you' She says,simply 'I do not want to offend you though. It's just...and observation,I suppose'

  She reaches for my hand and I let her grab it,but deep down,I want her to explain it properly,because she's right,I think.

 'Sorry' She sighs 'Are you mad at me?'

  'Not-Not really. I wouldn't get mad at you even if I wanted to'

  'Can I kiss you or it is too much to ask?'

  In response,I pull her closer and kiss her.

  'But isn't everyone shallow?' I ask as I pull away.

  'I do not think you are shallow. You act like that. And no,I don't. I think everyone is really... deep actually'

  'They are shallow. They become deep the moment you decide to dive in'

  'Poetic,in a way. But also true'

I look at her for a while. She seems distracted on looking out the window for some reason.

  'Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?'

  'Once or twice' She smiles ,turning around. I pull her closer.

  'Well,you are the most beautiful human being I have ever had the pleasure to set my eyes upon'

  'That wasn't very original ,was it?'

  'Jesus. I love you'' I say,without thinking. I regret it the moment the words leave my mouth.

  She closes her eyes,like she's taking in what I just sayed,and then she frowns.

  'But I wanted to say it first' She cries 'I love you ' And she smiles.

© Copyright 2017 Rafaela. All rights reserved.

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