The Story of Erica Van Buren-Elks (Summer Lovin' Challenge)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Erica had always felt responsible for everything that happened to her family; her father's death, the failure of her mother's second marriage. Now after all these years, she meets Adam, the love of her child-hood. Will for the first time Erica be happy? Written as a tape recording.

Submitted: June 28, 2009

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Submitted: June 28, 2009

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THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT. VIEWER DESCRETION IS ADVISED.
The story of my life is on this tape. The story of a mislead girl is on this tape. A story of a person who gets lost in love’s way, finally ending it with one last good-bye. This is the story of Erica Van Buren-Elks.
I don’t remember much of me being a baby, but maybe the time I crawled over the edge of a staircase and had to be driven by ambulance to the emergency room is what I can remember most. It’s sort of weird to live the first few years without remembering it.
All I knew was the little baby book my mom hid from my little brothers and sisters. My mom had 5 kids all together including me, by the time I was six. I got used to being independent and not getting a lot of attention. I always wished I could go back in time to the one year we had together, just me and my mom. I wish I could remember what it was like.
I was never alone, and never had any privacy.
On my eighth birthday we found out that on the way to get my cake my daddy drove off a bridge after a tired man fell asleep at the wheel. My dad died almost instantly from the shock of the fall. It wasn’t survivable said the man in uniform. Even if he survived that fall, rescue crews wouldn’t be able to get there before he drowned to death.
I wanted to be alone, because I knew that if it hadn’t been my birthday then my father wouldn’t have left to go get my cake and someone else would have died rather than my father. I wanted the man who fell asleep to be killed, I didn’t want him to live, I wanted him dead so he can realize what it feels like to die.
This was when I need more privacy than ever, but sharing a bedroom with Alexis and Peyton never gave me any. I didn’t leave my room except to go to school and eat. I didn’t do anything after school, and I quit playing softball. My life seemed to be self-destructing.
Finally, once the one year mark came of my father’s death, and my ninth birthday, my mom made me go shopping with her. I reluctantly went with my mom. That’s where she introduced me to her friend Martha, and Adam.
At the time, I just thought he was another boy who was scared of cooties, and kissing, and romance, and love. Everything every little girl dreams about. My mother chatted it up with Martha as me and Adam wandered around the food court. He took me behind a movie bill-board and pecked my lips. I think it was an attempt at a kiss, but for a nine year-old it wasn’t actually half bad.
I saw him off and on for the next year, but when my mom got a new job, we moved away to Cryndle, Florida. It was my first road trip more than 10 hours long. I tried to grow, up, but it was hard. My mom met a new man who seemed nice, until they got married.
Whenever I got a less than perfect mark in school, he would take me up to his room, and duct tape me to the wall. He would rip my clothes off, and rape me leaving me left with no dignity. He sometimes didn’t rape me, but rather, slapped me.
I tried my best not to tell my mom because I didn’t want to ruin her happiness. I mean I was 10, and didn’t have my period, so I couldn’t get pregnant. There was no problem with the sex he forced me into as long as I wasn’t pregnant.
He started raping me for other small reasons to the point he’d make me have sex with him every day. I felt embarrassed, but I asked my mom if she could take me shopping for my first bra, and go out to lunch together. This was when I told her about the things Daniel had done to me.
She didn’t know what to say. She was silent for the rest of lunch, and we left the mall before I ever got my first bra. She took me to a police building, where we went inside, and talked to the officer.
They took me to the hospital even though I wasn’t ill, and swabbed my vagina. It tickled a little, but after that we left and went to my aunt’s house which wasn’t too far away. My mom went and got Alexis and Peyton, along with Mark and Kyle. My mom drank some bottles of wine with my aunt as she sobbed.
Did I do this? Did I just ruin my mom’s marriage for my own sake? I walked into the kitchen and sat next to my mom and aunt.
“Mom, I ruined your marriage, it’s okay to hate me.”
“Hate you Erica? You saved me and your sisters from him. If he just kept,” She paused taking a long sip of wine. “Doing it with you, he would have felt empowered and done it to your sisters. He could have beaten me and your sisters. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner, baby, you suffered, but in the end saved us all.”
“Do we have to stay here?”
“Erica, I wish I could say no, but Clifton leaves too many haunting memories for me, and I don’t know any other places.”
Peyton walked in with her broken Barbie doll and tears welling from her precious eyes. I wanted to feel bad for her, but something felt like a Barbie doll is nothing compared to being raped.
“Baby, I’ll fix it, no more worries.”
“Mama, it’s broken. Why are we even here?”
“Your Step-daddy did something really bad, and well we aren’t going to see him again.”
“But mom!!!! Daddy Danny do nothing wrong.”
“I know, Pey. I wish it was true.” Her eyes welled with tears that streamed like rain drops down her eyes. Peyton looks worriedly at mommy, and then runs off to the attic where we are sleeping for the night.
“Mom, it’s okay. I want to stay here, but Daniel will want the house.”
“He can’t have it in jail now can he? Rape is illegal, Erica, especially when it’s with a girl like you, under eighteen.”
“Oh.”
We moved back into the house once it was determined Daniel would serve 5 years in jail and the rest of his life with parole. My mom got all of her connections to push harder and harder. I had to testify, and it was hard telling people about how I lost my virginity at ten.
I was 15 when my mom got a phone call from a number nobody knew. She was going to answer, but she chickened out. I grabbed the phone and yelled, “Hello!” very weirdly. It turns out it was Adam.
“Uh, this is Adam. Who are you?”
“You are kind of calling me…so wouldn’t I ask you that? This is Erica.”
“Right, sorry. Well, Erica this is Adam from when you were 9. I just want you to know my dad got a job in Florida in the same city you live in so we’ll be going to the same school again.”
Adam. I searched my blank mind.
“Wait the-peck-on-the-cheek-Adam?”
“Yea, that’d be me.”
“OHEMGEE!!!”
“I have to go, but tell your mom, okay?”
“K.”
“MOM, PECK-ON-THE-CHEEK-ADAM IS MOVING TO FLORIDA. MARTHA’S SON!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!”
“Really? That is so weird…but I bet you guys can catch up on a lot. Just please don’t tell him about the incident.”
“What incident?” Asked Peyton who was now 10 years of age. I wanted to tell her the truth about how when I was her age I was raped by our step father, but my mom would never in a million years let me.
“Erica, I think Peyton deserves to know.” I gasped trying not to make a big fuss about it, but it was a huge deal.
“Okay. Five years ago when I was your age, this was after daddy died, and mom got married to Daniel. Well I wasn’t doing too good in math, that quarter so he started hitting me, and finally he duct taped me to the wall, and raped me.”
“Raped?”
“Forced me into sex. He put his…thingy inside of me.” I looked over at my mom who was secretly screaming inside. I knew I was explaining sex to my little sister. It was like I was explaining puberty to her, when it was something my mom should do.
I walked away before Peyton could ask anymore questions. I wanted to be alone. I walked into my bedroom, and only mine. No one else slept there. Just me. I grabbed a pair of scissors from my desk and punctured my skin. I slowly pulled the scissors across my arms, and let the cut bleed.
A few months later school started, and since Adam would be there I started dressing extra cute. I put medicine on the countless scars on my arms, hiding the fact I’m running from my past, but I keep tripping. I look beautiful with makeup and concealer over my arms. I looked at my boobs which are 34Bs and grasped them in my hands.
I walk down stairs to see my mom cooking pancakes for me. She smiles when she sees me, and I sit down at the table. I eat three pancakes in just a minute, and rush out to the bus which ready for me to get on.
The bus ride felt like eternity of random idiotic guys swearing and hitting on me. One guy sat down in the seat across from me, and leaned over touching my boobs. He looked at me saying, “Sorry I threw my pencil over here by accident.” After he said that, I slapped him leaving a red mark on his face. Deserved.
The day dragged on, and so did the year. I had heard nothing from Adam the whole year, but as I was walking out of school on the last day of school over to my bus, someone tapped me on my soldier.
“Um, Erica?”
“Can I help you?”
I didn’t mean to be mean, but over the year I waited for Adam by looking pretty. I became popular and very preppy, but I guess it was all just an act. I was still preppy though and it wasn’t who I usually was. I liked it.
“I’m Adam,” He said happily.
“Fuck. Adam? My Adam?”
“Yea.”
I didn’t think, and I just leaned over and started kissing him. I may not have seen him in six years, but I felt like we had known each other all along. It must have been his deep brown curls that settled at his ears, or maybe it was his baby blue eyes.
“Erica, I haven’t seen you in six years....I just have changed.”
“I missed you. I’m sorry.” After I finished I ran away from school. I didn’t bother to take the bus, where I could be haunted by boys, and Adam. I ran to the town park. I sat down on the swing and just cried.
My life had never seemed like it was useless. I had always hoped to see Adam, and he was my treat to think about. Now that he didn’t feel the same about me, I felt useless, loveless, and lonely.
He meant so much me. He was gorgeous and cute.
My sobs saturated my makeup, until it made my tears black. Great now I looked like an emo. I gave up cutting, I’m not emo. I’m not emo. I’m not emo. I kept telling myself useless words.
“Erica, I’m sorry.”
I thought I was just talking to myself, but then I realized it was Adam. Adam. Why the hell would he care about saying sorry to me? He just broke me heart. It isn’t going to be fixed by a damn sorry.
“Erica, I’m sorry. Look, I just didn’t expect for us to pick up from where we left off six years ago. I never said I didn’t like you. I just meant we need to take it slow.”
“I’ve waited for you all year so what brings you to say something to me now. The whole year you’ve lived here, you said nothing to me.”
“I was scared. I thought you wouldn’t want me, because of how high you became in the popularity chain.”
“You’re perfect. The way you talk, the way you kiss, they way you walk. Everything, Adam. You’re perfect. It was all for you. I felt good about being pretty for the first time in my life. I was sick of my past.”
“Look, I’m sorry about your dad, but I thought you would be better about that.”
“Why would I? My dad died, we moved to Florida, my mom got married, my step-dad hit me, and he raped me.”
“Erica…”
“What? How much I’ve been through without you by my side. I hate my step-dad. He gets out of jail tomorrow. I don’t want him near me ever again.”
“Come here Erica.”
I walked closer to him, and he kissed me. His tongue broke through my lips, and he scooped me up into his arm.He carried me into the tunnel that the little kids play in all the time. No kids were in sight.
That night when I got home, I looked at the scars on my arms. People always say they understand, but my question is, are they just lying? Are they just trying to console me in my times of need? Maybe for once in my life someone actually likes me for who I am, maybe.
The next day I was walking through town, when Adam walked up to me out of the blue. I kissed him, telling him it’s good to see him.
“Erica, my mom has lots to catch up with your mom. They are having dinner tonight, and I thought we could go camping. Just us, for a night of romance.”
“Mhm sounds good. Meet you at your house at eight?”
“Yea, bring your sleeping bag. I’ll bring the tent.”
I ran home, as quickly as I could to get ready. I jumped up the stairs with glee and went to go into my room, when I saw Peyton on her bed crying. I walked into the room and sat on her bed. I wiped the tears from her eyes, and kissed her freckled face.
“What’s wrong, Pey.”
“Er—ic-a-a, I g-ot my p-er-io-d-d.” She said stuttering every other word that came out of her mouth. I looked her in the eye, and hugged her tight.
“Pey, you need supplies?”
“Ye-s, I h-av-en-‘t told m-om.”
I hopped up and walked into my bedroom grabbing a box of pads, and opened it taking half the package out. I even put a slender tampon in the bunch in case she needed to swim. I walked out of my room and gave it to her. She smiled faintly and left her room and went into the bathroom.
I packed my bags, and ran to Adam’s house which was two miles away. I got there and I was completely pooped out. I collapsed on his lawn, breathing fast. Within five minutes he came out, to see me lying on the ground. Adam plopped down next to me, as we watched the sun set before heading off to our campsite.
After we made s’mores over the camp fire we made, I laid down on top of my sleeping bag inside the buggy tent. I exhaled slightly, and then closed my eyes as I yawned. Adam climbed in and hung his sweatshirt on a hanger in the tent and laid down next to me.
“Erica, lets play some games. Its like Truth or Dare, but there is only daring. You can dare or double dare, you choose.”
“Sure.”
“Okay, Dare or Double Dare.”
“Double Dare.”
“Okay. Give me a lap dance completely naked no bra or underwear.”
“Um, okay.” I stripped off my pants revealing my thong underwear. I next slowly took off my shirt and my bra while looking at his sweatshirt. When I was naked I sat on his lap and started my dance.
Once my clothes were back on it was my turn to ask him Dare or Double Dare. When I asked he picked “dare”. I couldn’t think of a good dare so I told him to snort as his dare. He seemed happy by it. After a few turns he got up and grabbed his sweatshirt and stepped on it very hard.
“Erica, I love you and no matter what happens know people make mistakes. Know that even though I will have betrayed you, I was too much of a dick to know right from wrong. Know that I really do love you, but sometimes people do crazy things. This makes no sense now, but it soon will.”
I stared at him. “Adam, tell me what you’re talking about!”
“I wish I could.”
“Then tell me. What are you talking about? You’re perfect; you have gorgeous hair, sweet breath, and an amazing heart. I LOVE YOU!”
“I love you, too.”
I stood up and raced towards him, kissing his lips. My heart skipped a beat as we laid down, me on top of him, making out. His tongue slithered down my neck. He looked me in the eyes, as if he were saying, “Can we?” He understood and took my shirt off and my purple polka dot bra. He licked my breasts, around my nipple.
I started deep breathing, as he moved his tongue down my body. He ripped off my pants leaving me completely exposed without any clothes on. I unzipped his pants and he carefully slid himself into me. I felt a rush of emotion roll over me. He WAS perfect. He did great sex.
The next morning I woke still completely naked, but next to Adam. I kissed his forehead before starting to get dressed. I slipped my undies and pants back on then my bra and shirt.
I packed my sleeping bag and ran home and jumped on the branch and into my window. I jumped into my bed trying to be quiet so I don’t wake the others and get into trouble. I grabbed my cell and clicked voicemessage. I left one for Adam.
“Adam, sorry I left, but my mom didn’t know I wasn’t going to be home last night so I left. I’m home all day if you wanna hang out. Anyway, I love you. Bye.”
I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I woke to the sound of my cell ringing.
“Hello?”
“Hey Erica, wanna go to the beach now?”
“Sure.”
I told my mom I was going shopping with Anna for my Summer Fling Dance next weekend. She gave me $500, and I hopped on my bike and rode to the beach where Adam was waiting for me. I threw my bike in the bushes, and jumped into Adam’s arms.
That night we walked on the beach holding hands, and letting our hair sway in the wind.
Our summer was like that. We went to the Summer Fling Dance together, and we won, Best Dressed. Of course, Adam one Most Gorgeous Eyes. Summer felt like it was never going to end, and I like it that way. I wanted this summer to never end.
One night Adam was walking me home when we walked past a picture of me naked playing Dare or Double Dare. I screamed and ran all the way home. I didn’t come out of my room the next day, but my mom slipped a note under my door and I picked it up. I opened it and read it out loud.
Dear Erica,
Remember that night when I said everyone makes mistakes? I said I love you no matter what you thought about me after something would happen. This is what I was talking about. I was told by my possy to date you and get pictures of you naked. I did that being foolish. That night when you played the game I realized you deserved better, and I was stupid. You gave your heart to me, and in return I give you all my heart. You deserve to break it. I stomped on the sweater which held a hidden camera, but the deed was already done. I knew that they’d do this, so I spent an amazing summer with you. Remember that kiss when we were little? I dream about it every night. Michael, my ex-friend, wanted to break a popular girl. He wanted to break an I’m-so-hot girl. He wanted to break you because of how pretty and preppy you were. Erica, you will hate me forever, but deep down as we go our own ways, my heart will crumble piece by piece.
Love,
xoxo Adam
Now I must kill myself. I cannot live knowing people will be living looking at me. Staring at me like they can see the pictures that were posted around town. Mom, Peyton, Alexis, Mark, Kyle, and Adam, you’re listening to this and probably crying, but none of this is your fault. I forgive you Adam. I know that you truly love me, and I hope that one day you’ll find me in Hell and bring me to Heaven. This is Michael’s fault and it always will be. Always.
You found me lifeless on the floor of my bedroom. I’d taken too many pills, I’d overdosed. A painless suicide. Adam, forgive me, love me, cherish our memories. Cherish my life.
I love you. I love you all. I love you, Adam. I love you with all my heart. Good bye.
xoxo Erica
My last words:
True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one ways of saying I love you.
THE END
ADAM'S LOVE:
Dear Erica,
I listened all night to the words come out of your mouth. Why you killed yourself. Erica, I still feel responsible, but I know you don’t want me too. All those nights we spent together, walking and running on the beach, holding hands. The dance where you gave me the rope bracelet that said, “Love is hard to describe, but easy to feel and express.” That’s when I knew I wanted to spend every moment of my life with you. Every small thing you did seemed like a thousand kisses. Every time you laughed, time would pause ever so slightly, but just enough, to let me know, I still loved you. You may never get this note, but maybe the sweet strawberry winds will blow the right way, or the ocean will move in rhythm for just a moment, a moment enough. No matter how far away you are, whether in Heaven, or Hell, or any other religions holy land for the dead, you’re still in my heart. I just cannot let our love go, not now, not ever. Our past is cleared of the bad moments. I must now go, but I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused. I love you, if you get this please reply.
Yours truly,
Adam


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