inspired by my grandfathers death

I am a captive in this body of mine,

so weak, so sick, so unrefine.

I dream of life, no limits or fear,

yet captive i am, as death follows near.

to learn, to love, to teach ,to feel,

but captive i am, no longer its real.

cancer i have from foolish decision,

forever im captive this sickness my prison.


Submitted: October 10, 2009

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Comments

Alessandra Fireheart

the flow was perfect. Nice how it was so short. I like the last two lines "cancer I have from foolish decision, forever im captive this sickness my prison." It was interesting to see how you approached the theme, instead having the person stuck in a prison of depression or a literal prison.

Thanks for sharing, good luck. I enjoyed reading your poem. Gonna hit the "I like" button.

Sat, October 10th, 2009 1:28am

Author
Reply

thank you. i liked ur poem alot too. u probably going to win

Sat, October 10th, 2009 3:58pm

Mistress of Word Play

I really liked it. I work at a hospital and it is a very true poem. They are captive to their illnesses and disabilities.
A wonderful write.
Susan

Sat, October 10th, 2009 1:42am

Author
Reply

thank you very much. and if u have anything u would like me to read don hesitate to contact me :)

Fri, October 9th, 2009 6:45pm

Etsure

okay this poem hit me at my heart. my grandma who was like a mother to me died of cancer. but besides that awesome rhythm and good portrayal of your emotion.

Sat, October 10th, 2009 3:56am

Author
Reply

thank you. and im sorry to hear about your grandma

Fri, October 9th, 2009 9:02pm

PoemPerson

Aww, this is really sad.

Sat, October 10th, 2009 10:17am

Author
Reply

lol. ya i kno. thanks for reading

Sat, October 10th, 2009 3:56pm

Gadzookziie Spice 99

UR really good at writing... I'm really sorry about your Granddad - i can relate all to well xx

Sun, October 11th, 2009 10:04am

Author
Reply

thank you its ok. he did when i was really like and to naive what was really going on

Sun, October 11th, 2009 3:05am

Alex3315

Amazing and beautiful too. I swear I'm soo envious of your writing haha. My grandfather died of cancer so this touches my heart a lot:). Amazing poem. the words just fit together so wonderfully.

Mon, October 12th, 2009 2:57am

Author
Reply

thank you so much.

Sun, October 11th, 2009 8:01pm

twilightgirl

sad,depressing and nice flow! i love it:)

Mon, October 12th, 2009 4:34pm

Author
Reply

thanks alot. thank you for commenting so much

Mon, October 12th, 2009 12:10pm

walkingonfate

wow. i really like the shortness of it. very very effective. really nice.

Mon, October 12th, 2009 6:04pm

Author
Reply

because life is short right. he didnt want to waste to much time. thanks for reading

Mon, October 12th, 2009 12:11pm

BLOODTHIRSTY

this is amazing. it really shows the fear of the cancer plus it has a kinda morbid outlook. I love it great job

Tue, October 13th, 2009 4:08pm

Author
Reply

lol. thanks alot. i appriciate the comment more then u could imagine

Tue, October 13th, 2009 5:54pm

Silent Words

This is a great poem! It really captures the fear of dying and being captive in a "faulty" body. (please don't take that the wrong way.) The writer can't escape, and he's scared. He knows he only has limited time, and there's nothing he can do about it. Great flowy-ness! :D Keep up the great work!

Thu, October 15th, 2009 10:43pm

Author
Reply

i dont take it at all the wrong way. thats what i was aiming for. im glad u liked it. it came from deep within me, i didnt even know i could write something like that. its surely my most poetic writting ever

Fri, October 16th, 2009 5:32pm

indieRokker

That was so sad. Though the flow of your writing was beautiful. I'm sorry about your grandfather.
Great Job

indie?

Thu, October 22nd, 2009 5:00am

Gadzookziie Spice 99

im reading again. its good. still sorry about your granddad. how are you by the way? you seem to have dissapeared :P

Tue, October 5th, 2010 6:03am

Courtney Fields

I read your poem, it is good. I can feal the fear the narrator is intending but I feel it in a light way. This was entertaining and I hope you continue to write poems, nice job.

Sat, April 21st, 2012 3:15am

Author
Reply

thanks alot. i was pretty happy with this poem. i do want to write more poems, how did you kno! let me know when u write some more stuff too

Fri, April 20th, 2012 8:39pm

prabh

Though i don't really read poetry but its good , short and sweet and sorry for your grandfather:(

Mon, April 23rd, 2012 12:53pm

Author
Reply

Thanks alot. I appreciate that alot

Mon, April 23rd, 2012 1:29pm

lapu shingle

nice job and im sure this has a personal meaning to millions of people

well done

Fri, April 27th, 2012 6:46am

Author
Reply

thanks. i thought it did too

Fri, April 27th, 2012 2:06am

Insane Membrane

nicely written

Sat, April 28th, 2012 10:54pm

Author
Reply

thanks aussie lady :)

Sat, April 28th, 2012 6:14pm

Murnit

Its the kind of rythm and flow I adore in poetry. Good job!

Sun, April 29th, 2012 10:25am

Author
Reply

thank you i appreciate that

Sun, April 29th, 2012 11:58am

Steve Fettinger

Well done

Tue, August 28th, 2012 12:32pm

AbrahamX

Well done, i like it :)

Thu, August 30th, 2012 7:46pm

animefreak77L

wow i love this. to me this is talking about cancer, i dont know thats just the vibe i got out of this. truly beautiful. :)

Sat, September 15th, 2012 6:10pm

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