The Circled Rainbow

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
When two soul mates meets,how they form a rare circled rainbow.

Submitted: March 29, 2014

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 29, 2014



After three days of continuous rain, the morning looked different. The sun was peeping out of silverish gray clouds. Its golden orange rays were not only enhancing the silhouette of those clouds but also the surf of the sea tides and the green earth. The magical sound of the notorious tide, gusty wind and the mayhem of the birds were echoing all around. Seeing the splendiferous morning, I was dissolving in the lovely picturesque moments.

Suddenly the big blaring sound of church bells ran through my body and broke my concentration. I turned and looked inside the church. She was offering prayers. I stared at her, she still looked the same. The woman was charming, serene, divine, real and youthful. She moved towards the community hall and soon disappeared in the crowd. I sat on one of the steps of the church, resting my body on the huge pillar. My eyes were observing the activities around me but my subconscious mind was peeping into my past.

Youth, one of the best phases of every individual, energy flows from all side, maturity and spontaneity at equal levels make us fearless and dynamic. Our entire life revolves around the  decisions we make during this phase.. I was also not spared. I took a decision when I saw her in the college canteen for the first time. “Love at First Sight” the saying came true for me, soon we became good friends and in no time our friendship turned into something more.  I remembered it was the last day of our college festival, in presence of our friends I proposed to her and her acceptance made me realized that the journey of our life has begun. The entire night was a celebration at Worli sea face. Coincidently that night, there was a celestial party above us as well, a meteorite shower.  The winter’s dark and clear sky, illuminated with hundreds of meteorites. We felt that the heavenly bodies were blessing us. After that day I was flying in the 7th sky. Every moment we spent together brought me magical and unforgettable moments that became prefect memories. We were made for each other. Our love gave us all the fun and ecstasy which every young heart looks for. This phase taught me the meaning of “Happiness”

I finished my graduation with distinction. We both were happy but at the same time we were heavyhearted, because for me it was my last year in college. I had to wait for another year for her to finish her graduation. I took up a job and started working hard for our future. But life no longer remained the same without her. My state of happiness descended to the 6th sky and here I learnt correct meaning of “Compromise”.

A year passed, I got my promotion and she also began working. With my promotion, my responsibilities had increased and now we could only meet on weekends. But our bonding was so strong that we could sense each other’s problems even without discussing, words weren’t necessary. Every night we spoke to each other, conversation that were imaginary but our emotions were real.  And tears became part of our life. We started missing those lovely days of our college life. For a few years I somehow managed living in this situation, but slowly I was getting frustrated and irritated. Life without her was getting tougher day by day, and I slowly noticed changes within me. I felt like my state of happiness had fallen to the 5th sky. This level taught me the meaning of “Longing”

She was a remarkable woman, strong, calm and highly patient. She had tolerated all of my anger and frustration and always eased my restlessness. I know I was going through a bad phase in my life and before things worsened, we decided to get married. We wanted to be together. It was a December wedding. We exchanged vows in presence of God, friends and family. We began a new chapter with joy in ourselves. Finally I could be with her every night. Whenever, I needed her.  My mom, dad, her and I, started living a content life as a complete unit.

But destiny had chosen something else for me. I had lost my job. I kept trying at different places in vain. I became resentful, jealous and anxious, these became my predominant emotions. I become a self centered person and kept on nursing my own feelings of suffering. I knew this time I am throwing my own self to the 4th sky. The responsibilities came on her and she handled everything without hesitation. Instead of easing her tension I started throwing my tantrums at her, but without any complaints she stood behind me as a strong friend and an understanding partner. Her unending love and efforts made me realize my mistake. With her support I started a small business. Soon life came back on track. During this phase I actually learnt the real meaning of “Togetherness”

One fine day she broke the clockwork routine we had set with some joyful news; she was pregnant. Everyone at home was happy and eager to welcome the new member of the family. I became a more responsible person; I started paying attention to tiny details to take care of her. These nine months bought us closer to each other and this closeness was different from where we began. Finally the day arrived.  We were all waiting impatiently at the hospital to welcome our bundle of hope. The doctor arrived with bad news; he was stillborn. This was the toughest moment of our lives yet. She was devastated and succumbed to her mental trauma. I realized I have to be strong and extend my support in all possible ways. I was dying inside but I couldn’t lose her too. This time destiny had pushed me to the 3rd sky.

Sometimes life brings us situations where we have to play the role-play game. Our inter dependency had switched, I was now her rock. Sometimes we can’t erase certain events from our mind subconsciously and they constantly live with us.  I could see her reliving her trauma when my mom mentioned her desire to become a grandmother during dinner one night. That night in our room, I told her that I don’t want to have child. We didn’t need to.  We both were enough for each other. We could live like this forever couldn’t we? This phase taught me the meaning of “Fate”

My business was flourishing and I got the opportunity to start my business overseas. I wanted her to be with me, but she insisted on staying home to take care of my old parents. It took me almost a year and half to set up my office in Canada. This was the first time we were away from each other for a long time. No doubt now we both were mature enough to handle this separation, but somewhere deep inside our hearts there was pain. We both started missing those small things about each other.  I remembered how I used to get irritated when she made chewing sounds while eating and now I really missed that about her. My state of bliss had reached the 2nd sky, and here I learnt the meaning of “Letting Go”

The years were passing by, I lost both my parents. Gracefully we sailed though our prime and entered the autumn of our lives. We faced many challenges in our life, but began finding clarity and strength in love. That night I looked at the sky and I laughed at him. I saw that contentment doesn’t not exist only on the 7th sky, its everywhere. It’s within.

Fate gave me one more lesson or I could say the last lesson of my life. She was diagnosed with cancer.  It was the last stage. I requested the doctor not to tell her. I was broken. The thought of her death was painful for me. Many questions came in my mind starting with ‘How can I’ and I had no answers. Every night I sat beside her bed, looked helplessly at her.  My hands wanted to caress her but I knew it would disturb her sleep.  I wanted to cry out loudly but I couldn’t. I wanted to fight with God, but I had no strength left. I realized I am at the 1st sky. This time I learnt the meaning of “Loss”

Suddenly, someone started pulling my hand. Engrossed in my thoughts I turned around and found her tugging at me. Back to reality. We left the church and walked homebound.

That evening I was sitting in my terrace waiting for my evening coffee. She brought two cups and sat next to me. I looked at her and the sorrow appeared on my face. She held my hand and looked at me silently. I was about to break in tears. “I know I am not going to live anymore”. I was shocked by her statement.  My lips started quivering, I had nothing to say, and burst out crying on her shoulder. She allowed me to cry for some time. I realized I have to control my emotions. Immediately I stopped sobbing and looked at her. She smiled at me “I am not yet gone. Whatever time we have we can ….……….” Suddenly telephone bell rang; she got up and went inside. But something in me had died already. I closed my eyes.

When I saw again I found an open land covered with a blanket of green grass. The wet trees were looking wonderful with orange sunlight falling on them. My eyes were stretching, seeking more. They landed on a freshly dug piece of land. Was it a Grave?

It’s strange when we see upturned earth, why do we see death? It could be a sign of birth. For even trees are born from that soil. Every end is also a new beginning.

I realize:

I arrived in this world with three things; Body, Fate and Soul. Over a period, my body and fate changed, sometime slowly and some time drastically. But my soul remains the same. And for those who are really lucky, our soul mates don’t change either.

I looked at the sky again. I see all those seven skies.

I see my journey. Alone. And with her. Finally our ends meet and I see a beautiful ‘Circled Rainbow’

© Copyright 2019 sanjay panchal. All rights reserved.

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