Looking for a way home...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
We all find ourselves feeling lost, trying to get back to that place we call... happiness

Submitted: June 07, 2011

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Submitted: June 07, 2011

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LOOKING FOR THE WAY HOME....

They say you cant please all the people all the time... I think “they” got it wrong. It seems more that you can't please the people you care about most when you most need to. A paradox, I know, but it happens to us everyday none the less. People mask feelings like fear with anger. Fear of the future, fear of the the unknown, fear of death. So the innocent are made to suffer, under the invisible blade of chaos. In all its forms, chaos takes its toll on the human spirit. “One moment we may be basking in the sun, and broken on the rocks the next.” It's what we do in this time a determines who we really are. If we have the unbridled constitution to do as is needed to survive, and not just survive, but flourish. It's not easy, I know better than most. And sometimes it feels like too much, cold and lifeless, like massive boulders of ice, laid across your shoulders. Remember, brightest sky can yield the darkest tornado.

Where did our innocence go? It seems to disappear like smoke through our grasping fingers. And no matter how much we grab at it, it will just cease to be. Why? Why did we do this to ourselves? There is no one else to blame. We can place blame on who ever we like, but the embarrassing truth is, if we need to know who to blame, we must only look into the mirror. “We mar the ones we love, and we love the ones we mar.” Truer words never written, nor spoke on any lips. Sometimes when we are most alone, things become more clear. Then we realize, the things, the events that transpired, that we, ourselves put into motion, are meaningless. And we are left with just emptiness, that can never really be filled, just occupied for a short time. So we run, we run from the truth and we keep going until we don't recognize our surroundings anymore. Then there we stand, lost in a place we have brought ourselves to, struggling to find our way back. We just want to go home, but why is it so hard?

Then, in a small way, we each give up finding a way back to normal. Digging holes so deep we can barely see the sun. Then, since we know we are uncomfortable, and that we have taken things a step farther than we should, we begin to hurt the people trying to help us. Casting blame like fiery arrows shot from a long bow. In with this weapon, we have deadly aim. We make people cry, make them mad, make them feel insecure, as insecure as we feel. And even though we cause damage, some of which we can never take back, we continue the onslaught. Then by the time we calm down, and see things more clearly, the damage we so recklessly brought about, has already been done. And when we finally get “home”, it doesn't feel like it, because we have already hurt the ones we love. Then we build a prison cell around us, and lock the gate, feeling guilty but not admitting it to anyone, especially ourselves.

We build these “cells” around us everyday. At home, at work, to the people we love, and to the people who love us. Still, nothing can stop it except our inner control, our conscience. The thing a lot of us have forgotten we even have. So we never use it, because guilt hurts the soul so bad. It just seems to be something that we as a race, as a species, cant get back to the way we once were. It's almost as if we are being DE-evolutionised, becoming what we once were, dumb beasts. Still, no one cares. No one wants to see “the big picture”. Only when we can get our humanity back, we can actually act human to one another, caring about others feelings and concerns, just like we care about ourselves. So, I purpose instead of falling to bad habits like we do time and time again, we each follow our own proverbial “yellow brick road” home, to our place of happiness, and pick up as many strange and unique friends as we can along the way, because in the end, if we cant save ourselves, the people closest to us can.


© Copyright 2018 Raul Duke II. All rights reserved.

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