apart of me

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
i can't keep this in anymore i need to get it out. i know they're mistakes but right now i need this to be read.

Submitted: April 23, 2016

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Submitted: April 23, 2016

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I'm here to write something about myself. I usually don't talk about myself a lot if I'm being honest I hate talking about it. This is probably why I don't have many friends but I don't know if I call the people I have “friends.” I mean whenever I'm going through something everyone seems to disappear. I know I should just stopping being their friend but I can't stand being alone. I also know this is causing me more pain but I don't know what to do if I have no one. It feels like no one now but I just ignore that feeling and fake that I'm fine. If I'm being honest I feel like shit. I want someone notice that I'm shit. I should be more positive but I don't know what positive is anymore. The darkness has consumed me and I can't get out. Everything around me is giving me pain and making me feel worthless. I feel empty inside. I wish I could fill this emptiness inside me. I want someone to help me. I'm invisible to others no one ever notices me. When someone does its because of my so called “friends.” I never go up to someone unless I have to but getting so afraid of will the just brush me off?... I hate getting close to people so I put up a wall. I try not to talk about things that bug me. I bugged by the most simpleness things like people, thoughts, work but to me they are the most hardest things for me. I don't understand why I'm here. Why should I care about such silly things? I try my hardest to not let get it to me but then I just breakdown. Recently I been breaking more and more lately I don't understand why. I having nothing to be worried about. I want to feel free from this. I feel the chain getting tighter. I need it to break. I WANT TO KNOW WHO I AM!?!?!?!? I want someone to care for not throw me away like trash. I want...to feel something other than pain. Will people even care when they read this? Or will I write this and know that I crossed a line? I need people but I hate telling people how I feel because either they will leave or if I'm lucky they will stay by my side. But I feel no one cares because I get pushed aside like some kind of I don't know but it truly hurts. I want....I need something or someone to take away this pain. It's consuming me and I don't know what to do anymore.....


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