I Learned Something Today

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Lesson One; it's ok to procrastinate as long as you're talented. Lesson two; omegle statistics. Lesson three; Ginsberg and South Park. Watch full video on YouTube at Ravenclaw365's channel.

Submitted: January 30, 2011

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Submitted: January 30, 2011

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January 30, 2011
I Learned Something This Week
 
Me: Hello, You Tubers! Last week I talked about everything I learned in 2010, and today I’m going to tell you everything I learned in the past seven days! If you take anything away with you from the experience of viewing this blog, it should be this; it’s ok to procrastinate as long as you’re talented! So every year our choir has this thing called solo and ensemble, and every year I participate and regret it because I have to learn a song in Italian. This year was no exception! I had to memorize an opera by Saturday, and I sat down to learn it Tuesday because, I’ll admit it, I’m an American. I’m lazy. Fortunately I was able get through the song without butchering the language too much, and got a perfect score! This has never happened to me before, so I was very excited until I learned that this means I have to go on to states, which means… more Italian. At least now I know not to worry about the competition until five days before, so I have plenty of time for productive stuff like omegle. This leads us to lesson two; for those of you who live under a rock, omegle is a website whose slogan is ‘omegle: talk to strangers?’ What could possibly go wrong? Well, my friend and I decided to explore the site- for purely scientific purposes, of course- and came up with the following statistic. Forty-eight percent of strangers on omegle want to see my boobs. Forty-eight percent want to see my dick. One percent wants to know who sings the song ‘Super Trooper’ and one percent don’t speak English or Italian, so there’s the possibility that they want to have an intelligent conversation, but probably fall into the other three categories. Our final lesson for today is more of a prompt from two staggeringly diverse yet equally credible sources; America by celebrated poet Allen Ginsberg, and our trusty book of philosophy The South Park Guide to Life.
“I won’t write my poem til I’m in my right mind.
America when will you be angelic?
When will you take off your clothes?
When will you look at yourself through the grave?
When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites?”
Now, I understand where Ginsberg is coming from, I really do. But just remember…
“The strength of this country is to do one thing and say another.”
(holds up book)
You Tubers, I’ll lecture again soon.


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