Raye's First Short Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Booksie Classic

This story is about a woman who, well, becomes too protective of her son. Just read the story. It's a good un.


There he was again, that strange man in the old dusty red pick up truck. The truck could not have been made any later than 1975. Then again, what did Nancy know about trucks? She was sitting in the recliner by the window, casually reading one of her romance novels and chancing a look out the window to see the man in his truck on the side of the street. The easily excitable little girl inside of her kept telling her that she was being watched by a private eye or something fun like that. There was no way that was right. She knew that man was up to no good…

The first time she saw this man, Nate had been riding his big wheel around the driveway while she watched and read the new Time from the porch. It was a full hour that they were out there until she noticed the truck sitting in the shade of the trees across the street.

The man in the truck was dressed as like a farmer. His trimmed beard stood out against his mostly black, simple clothing. He would never be able to blend in any place he went. The first thought that went through her head was that he was lost and trying to get his bearings, but this though was quickly thrown out of her head once her motherly instinct kicked in. She began to think about the possibility that he was one of those pedophiles. She just watched another one of those “To Catch a Predator” shows last night and it came to her mind so fast she got scared. She stood up and the magazine fell off her lap. “Do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich Nate? I can make one for you. Let’s go inside and have lunch okay?” she said without looking across the street.

“Awesome! Can you cut the crusts off this time? Pleeeeeease?” he pleaded while ditching the big wheel in the driveway.

“Yeah sure. Just go inside and wash up first. You’re filthy.” She followed Nate back in the house without a look back.

That was the first time. Now he’s back.

She looked out the window again and the man was sitting in his dusty red truck. She couldn’t tell if he was looking her way or not. Why is he just sitting there? she wondered.
Nate was playing with his Playstation in his room, and his bedroom window faced the woods behind the house so the man couldn’t possibly see in. She looked at her cell phone on the window sill, she got lucky when she bought the house, to find one that had AT&T reception on the mountain. She began to wonder if she had left it on vibrate or loud. Drew used to tell her to put it on loud because she never noticed it when it was on vibe. It was then that she began to think about what happened the night she lost Drew. The events of that night caused her and Nate to move up to the mountains, away from their old life, away from their memories.

Nancy and Drew had bought a house in the town by the mountains. It had a pleasant suburb and was close to Seattle. After meeting most of their neighbors (and exchanged plenty of jokes about their names) they began to feel quite settled in. Nate was doing well in school and everything seemed to be going just fine. It was a September night when it happened. She woke up when they ran in and turned the lights on. She shot up in bed and only got to see two masked men standing over the bed. She did not get a chance to even shout or look at Drew before she felt a sock filled with three D-batteries crack into her skull. When she came to, she was naked in the closet. She put on whatever article of clothing she just yanked off the hangar and crawled out. She saw Drew, laying with his eyes open in a pool of his own blood. After that, she wanted nothing to do with her old, perfect life so she moved Nate and herself up the mountain. He would still be in the same school yet they would both be quite out of the way from everything else. She was getting nervous. She made up her mind and phoned the police. Once she explained the situation, they sent over a squad car.
“Now you’re sure that it was this same man? This dark man?” said Officer Gilles.

“Yes I’m sure of it. It was the same red truck from last time, the guy looks the same too. I mean it seems pretty impossible that he could have business on this road that only goes past my house and two others twice in a week. I just want to get this taken care of you know? I’ve got Nate up here and I’m just nervous if he tries something.”

“Well ma’am, if he hasn’t done anything malicious yet then I wouldn’t worry about it. I mean, you have a lovely view from the side of the road of the whole valley. Maybe he’s taking pictures or enjoying the view or something?”

“Well he never really talked to me. Or tried to communicate with Nate or anything, I already asked Nate quite thoroughly about it. Listen, if you aren’t going to do something about it then I want to talk to the officer who will.”

“Ma’am, you seem genuinely worked up about this so I’ll tell you what, if he comes back, call us the moment you see him and we’ll send somebody up here real quick. In fact, if I’m duty, I’ll request to take that call alright Now don’t get me wrong, we’ll check out this truck without plates but there shouldn’t be much reason for you to worry.”

“Well fine then. I suppose that if you are going to have a problem taking care of it, then I will. I trust you can find your own way out, I need to make Nate dinner.”

Nancy put down the legs of the recliner and looked out the window. The man was out of his truck staring at the house. She looked over at Nate in the kitchen. He had his legs wrapped around the chair legs enjoying his lunch. He did not see that creep. It was the second time she suggested a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when she saw the man. Maybe it was because the sandwich was such a comforting food. She looked over her other shoulder and could still see that man. Nate was all she had in the world and she could vouch for him that it was the same on his part.

Days passed. Each day the man was in the truck and then got out of it after an hour or so. Each day Nancy called to police and each day they came up and the man was not there. It was going on the second week that Nancy decided to call the school and tell them that Nate had the flu and he would not be in school for a while. The day after she called, the man brought two others with him. They all looked identical in both physical appearance and in the way the dressed. Now there were five men, two in the cab and three in the truck bed. They could have passed for identical quintuplets. “What the hell am I supposed to do now!? I’m getting so freaked out!” Nancy said as she called her friend in Boston.

“Listen, just get out of there. Go to a hotel and visit the police station, don’t leave until they do something about this. I’m worried for you honey. You and Nate, how has he been taking this?”

“Well I’ve told Nate that he cannot come out of his room until I let him know that it’s alright. I let him have bathroom breaks and I bring up food to him.” She said as she continued to wash dishes.

“Oh is he really sick? I thought you just made that up to make sure that he didn’t get caught up in this?”

“No, it’s for his own good. He needs to stay where I know he is at all times. He has all his toys up there and plenty of books. I make him go to bed when the sun goes down, I don’t want his window lights on at night, that way they can see in and see what he’s doing. I don’t like it but it has to be done. For his protection, I need to keep him safe Cassie, he’s all I got.”

“Nancy, you’re starting to scare me honey. Why don’t you just get out of there and call me when you get to a hotel?”

“I can’t right now. They’re out there right now. There are at least three trucks now. They cycle through them and each time there are about five of them. I can’t leave and I wont leave. I already have all of Drew’s guns at every doorway just in case I can’t get to one of them. I’ve thought this through Cassie, I’m going to be fine. I’m going to make sure that Nate is protected. He needs me. I wont let them have him.” She was done with the dishes now. The men were clearly outside. One of them was standing next to the truck while the rest were just staring at the house. All of them motionless. All of them unblinking.

“Nancy, I’m going to call your local police myself. I’m going to get you help okay? Just stay on the phone with me, I’m calling them on my cell phone.”

“Can’t do that Cassie. I have to go. I’m late with Nate’s dinner.”

She hung up the phone and pulled the phone jack out of the wall. She wouldn’t need it anymore. Besides, what if they were listening in? They must be listening in on her phone calls. How else could they know when to leave when the police came? That’s it then. They were all over her. No mail, no more phone, no more internet. She walked to the basement and took out the cable box and the modem. They could monitor what she watched on TV. There is no way that she’s just going to give in here. “Mom! The TV stopped working! Mom!? Moooooooom!??”

“I know honey it has to be shut off for a few days.” She said as she looked in the direction of his room two floors up. She heard his door creak open slightly.

“DAMMIT NATHANIEL YOU WILL STAY IN YOUR ROOM! I will NOT have you disobeying me.” She screamed as she stormed up the stairs.

Nate’s door closed immediately. She stopped at the basement doorway. Then she thought of something. What if they got past her? What protection would Nate have? He was only 9 there was no way he could fight them. So she went back downstairs and pulled the chain for the lightbulb. She looked around and found what she was looking for. She walked back upstairs with her supplies. She would protect her son. He will have nothing to fear. There was plenty of water in his own bathroom. He wont need to leave for any reason. He has his books, he has water, he has his bed, and the space between the floor and the bottom of the door was just high enough to fit a PB&J sandwich. He would always have that. It had plenty of nutrition and it’s such an excellent sandwich. She pulled up the first piece of wood and placed it across Nate’s door and took one of the nails out of her mouth and set it on the wood.
“Mom? What’s that noise? What’s going on?” Nate said while he walked to the door.

“Oh honey, I’m just making sure that the men in the trucks can’t get to you. This is for your own protection honey. I’ll still make sure you get your PB&J, but you wont be able to leave for a while.” She said as she put up another piece of wood and began pounding.

“MOM! STOP! I’m so scared. I want to see you. I don’t want to stay in my room! I’m not even scared of the men mom. I’ve never even seen them! Please, Mom!”

She put down her hammer and began walking downstairs. “I’ll go fix you dinner sweetie. You don’t need to be scared. I’m just making sure you’re nice and safe. This is all for your protection.” She called over her shoulder as she walked to the kitchen.

“Mom! Mom!? MOOOOOM!!???”

“This is all for you protection honey. I love you very much.”

Submitted: February 26, 2009

© Copyright 2021 Raye Penbur. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Raye Penbur

Sorry I didn't know what I was supposed to put in the title section. I'm new here if you couldn't tell.

Thu, February 26th, 2009 5:02am


Boy! She is protective is`nt she... Lol! I feel sorry for the boy...

Very good! I liked it...


Thu, February 26th, 2009 4:08pm


Thank you for reading! It was my first attempt at writing anything that wasn't a research paper for a class or something. I am quite proud of it and I am very glad you liked it.

Thu, February 26th, 2009 8:21am


Raye Penbur:

Interesting! Gave it an "I Like It" vote.

Skip a line between paragraphs and a separate paragraph for each character when they are speaking (that is, dialogue in quotes " "). This will make it easier to read and more inviting to a greater number of readers. Thereby, increasing your readership.

Thank you for becoming a fan.

If you have not done so, already, please read and vote for some of my postings entitled:

1. "Epitaph 5 (Wealth!)",

2. "Excitement Inspired.....",

3. "Our Grampa Ed",

4. "Love Intended: #1, #2 & #3",

5. "Limerick For Life",

6. "Self Love",

7. "Katie Anne",

8. "POEMS" &

9. "Here To Stay".

Again! Thank you!

Happy trails,

Ed Bradley.

Thu, February 26th, 2009 4:29pm


hi, nice :)

Thu, February 26th, 2009 9:00pm


hey there! i loved it. :))) i wonder, though, what was it with the men? were they really out to get her and Nate?

Mon, September 13th, 2010 12:35am

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