My Time Of Dying

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
The boundaries of heaven and earth blur.

Submitted: June 04, 2014

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Submitted: June 04, 2014

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As I lay there, I could feel the warm, sticky liquid oozing down the side of my abdomen. The dizziness that came from the loss of this fluid made it difficult to keep my eyes open. Who would have thought it would end like this? Lying under the darkened sky in a back ally, waiting for death to come and take me. My pathetic little life flashing before my eyes, all I could think about, would my family be alright without me? We had already been through so much, they deserved more than knowing that i was going to die. Slowly, I forced my arms to move, one lifting the bottom of my blood drenched shirt, the other blindly trying to inspect the wound. All I had done was walk away from the back of the shop, I'd locked up tonight, shame really. The first time I had locked the shop up and here I was, dying because of my kind heart. People did always say that nice guys always finished last, but i had not thought them to be right, not until now. Now, when it was too late.

The images of my younger sister flashed in my mind, her smile, the times we had spent laughing and playing. The times that I had comforted her when she was upset or hurt, maybe even both sometimes. Who would be there to ensure that she would make it through her school years? Who would be there to give her the sisterly advice that she would need when she got older? Like hell could I rely on her other sisters, half sisters, to look after her like a sister would. My brother, who would be there to help him through college, to help give him a kick in the backside when our parents were pulling their hair out? Would my father be able to handle burrying his child? Would my mum be able to handle that, handle the grief my father would go through? When he was feeling like it should all end, who would be there to pick him up off the ground? So much was left undone, unsaid and here I was, lying in an ally, bleeding out.

If i had have only charged my mobile phone before leaving the flat, I would have a better chance of living. I could have called an ambulance. Who would tell my family that I am no longer breathing? Would they be gentle about it or would they just blurt it out like they have no heart? Part of me was angry, angry that I had been so careless, but there was nothing I could do now. I could feel my eyelids become too heavy and before I knew it, they left me in darkness as they closed. Shallow breathing was all I could manage at this point. It felt like one of those vivid nightmares that you wake up screaming from. Like the world had just stayed still and it was taking its sweet time to kill me off for good. So many times I had nightmares like this, now it was happening I could barely believe I was awake.

Having my eyes closed, I didn't notice it, but I was no longer in the ally way. Slowly opening my eyes, I felt a stinging in my abdomen as I took in a sharp gasp of shock. I was in some sort of woodland, was this heaven? I didn't even believe in heaven or hell, so it couldn't be. Still unable to move through the pain, I moved only my head, trying to get my barings, but I recognised nothing. How the hell did i get here? If this was the afterlife, I wouldn't still be pouring with blood.... right? Covering my eyes, I shielded them from a brilliant light that came through the trees. What was it?

 


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