Hudson's Broken Heart

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Carissa is a teenage mother living in a homeless shelter with her three year old son Hudson who has just been diagnosed with a severe heart condition. This condition requires a heart transplant or Hudson will die. Hunter, the love of Carissa's life had been absent from her and Hudson's life for four years until an unpredictable event occurs at the end of this dramatic short story.

Submitted: December 14, 2009

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Submitted: December 14, 2009

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Hudson’s broken heart
Rebecca Jacobs
Written December, 2009
The spring rain that had leaked in through the rundown homeless shelter ceilings had left puddles, and a horrible stench of mildew, for days now. The young mother woke every morning to the blustering life of the city, and the redundant horns from the taxi cabs. At 7:30 in the morning, everyone here was on their way to work, most taking a cab or the city bus. Public transportation was never an option for Carissa, nothing was that required unnecessary money spending. Gazing out the cracked window, while braiding her untamed, greasy locks, she noticed a young couple, pushing a baby carriage on the corroded, muddy sidewalk, which was adjacent from the shelter; she became jealous of how perfect and happy they looked. She realized more and more everyday how much she yearned for a family of her own. This morning was a typical Thursday for Carissa, a teenage mother, who was on her way to her minimum wage paying job at a local motel. Here, she cleaned rooms scrub the floors of bathrooms, and was always cleaning up over peoples trash. Carissa was 18 years old, raising a 3 year old little boy, living in a homeless shelter. Although this was not the life Carissa dreamed of having at her age, she knew it was a choice she made for herself, and nothing put a bigger smile on her face than her baby boy. Carissa didn’t need anything materialistic, or anything for herself, everything she earned and received went right to the happiness of her life, her son.
Carissa had an unforeseen event occur in her life when she was only fifteen years old. It was March 1st, 1998, when she received the shocking news of her pregnancy. Carissa knew who deserved to know, her boyfriend Hunter. Hunter was the love of her life since she was only thirteen years old. The two of them grew up together in a small town in Utica, New York. Carissa was raised in a tight nit family who had very strong religious beliefs. Her Father held her back from Hunter which caused her to rebel and lie to her parents in order to see him. Hunter on the other hand was set free to do what he pleased, seeing he had lived in an environment with an alcohol dependant father, and a mother addicted to prescription medication. Hunter depended on Carissa for his happiness, she was the only one who could make him feel valued, and worthy, seeing his parents sure didn’t have the time to express to him or even notice the great things he accomplished his growing up years. Carissa walked two blocks in shame, down to where Hunter and her always had picnic dinner together, it was their favorite spot because it overlooked the beautiful Hudson River. Carissa was devastated to have to tell Hunter, she knew the amount of struggling he had already been through and Carissa made a huge mistake. Hunter came running to Carissa giving her a kiss on her rosy cheek’s while embracing her in his tan, muscular arms. Tears streamed down Carissa face; she knew she was going to lose him. “What’s the matter baby?” Hunter asked Carissa In a gentle tone. She responded, quickly, “Please don’t forgive me for this, I do not forgive myself, and I do not deserve someone like you.” Carissa looked down at the over grown grass, she couldn’t stand looking at her precious boyfriends face, “I’m 4 months pregnant, and it’s with Joseph, the boy I’ve been seeing from my school.” Hunter broke down, and immediately began sobbing. Hunter divulged to Carissa, no matter how big of a mistake she will make, he will never let her go she is the love of his life, and he cannot live without her. Hunter expressed how he could get passed this, and had already forgiven her. Carissa knew she wasn’t the one for Hunter, she knew he deserved someone who treated him with abundant love.She hated herself for doing this to someone who loved her so much, she just felt like she was too young to be in such a serious relationship and made a hasty decision to cure her itch of rebelling which caused her fault, and she now had to cope with being a single mother without the love of her life. Carissa made the decision to leave Hunter standing alone, looking over the beautiful view of the Hudson River, and to leave a note behind. She had written to her family explaining how she has disappointed her entire family, and is four months pregnant, she included how she will be moving to a homeless shelter in NYC, and that she loves them and will miss them greatly. Carissa didn’t feel as if she deserved love from anyone anymore, she hated herself.
It was a Thursday morning which meant Carissa, as usual woke her baby Hudson up at 8 am for his breakfast. The name Hudson has a very special meaning to Carissa, the Hudson River was the last place she had seen Hunter, the love of her life. Carissa’s job limited the amount of food she could purchase so it was usually the same breakfast every morning. She gave Hudson his bottle of milk which she stored in her cooler which she made sure to replace the ice every night before going to bed. She opened up a brand new box of cheerios which she purchased at the local dollar store, a box of cereal lasted her about 2 weeks, seeing she insisted Hudson ate everything she bought, she didn’t mind that she was only able to eat what was left over, Hudson came first for her. As Hudson was slowly waking up, Carissa noticed beads of sweat dripping from his forehead, she felt his head, and realized he had a spiking fever. Carissa assumed it was the seasonal flu due to the homeless shelter having an outbreak of it. The teenage mother cared about her son too much to just risk trying to let him heal on his own, she figured a hospital trip plus possible medication would cost her a month’s amount of work, so she didn’t think twice about taking Hudson over to the emergency room on 5th avenue, just two blocks down from the homeless shelter.
Upon entering the emergency room, Hudson began experiencing shortness of breath, and was trying desperately to point to his chest, and tried to get his mothers attention. Carissa felt his chest and felt palpitations. The check in desk volunteer, called after the nurses, yelling that Hudson was in need of emergency medical attention. The medical technicians grabbed Hudson out of Carissa’s arms, causing her to panic. “What’s wrong with him?” “Please help my baby, he’s the only thing I have, please help him!” She followed the doctors and the stretcher her little blonde haired baby boy was laying on, he was crying, and calling for his mom. The nurses placed IV’s in Hudson’s emaciated arms to help stabilize his heart rhythm, and gave him a ventilator to allow him to breathe better. They took blood tests to discover what exactly was wrong with Hudson. Everything happened so fast. Carissa was beside herself, she sat next to her baby on his hospital bed, holding his hand for over an hour, as he slept. Carissa knew she had made a horrible mistake for Hudson when she felt like the hospital bed was more comfortable for Hudson to sleep in than the couch cushions set up for him in the homeless shelter. She blamed herself for his sickness and thought if he didn’t have to live in such a filthy environment, he wouldn’t be exposed to so many germs. She knew Hudson didn’t deserve this lifestyle, and that he didn’t deserve to live the life that she had to choose for herself. He was such a sweet and kind little boy who deserved nourishing food, his own bedroom with a comfortable car shaped bed, with the number 3 on it, his favorite nascar number, with blue painted walls, and toys that little boys enjoy playing with.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Stern, I have Hudson’s lab results back and unfortunately Hudson has been diagnosed with a severe heart condition, the only way to treat this is by performing a heart transplant procedure.” Carissa began panicking again, her little baby had a bad heart, and in order to receive a new one is with a donor and with money, which Carissa had neither. She explained this to the doctor who replied with “I’m sorry but there is nothing we can do, having a child so young can cause a lot of complications, such as lack of health insurance.” The tears were rolling down her face as she griped the side of the railing of the hospital bed, she held her sleeping baby in her arms. Carissa had made a mistake having a child so young, but she was so happy she had made this mistake, Hudson is what brought her joy, and she couldn’t stand the thought of losing the only person she has in her life. Carissa had kept her mother’s phone number in her pocket at all times incase o f emergency’s such as this, she was very anxious about calling her but knew in order to save her sons life it was necessary. As she dialed her old house phone number, she reflected on all the great times she had with her mother, father, and little sister Abigail. They use to have family board game nights, and popcorn movie nights, she was so ashamed of the choices she had made in her life, and knew she had truly been a disgrace to her family. “Hi Mom, it’s Carissa. I know it’s been too long since we’ve talked, what about three years now, since little Hudson was born?” She cleared he throat from all the crying she had been doing and continued explaining her tragic situation to her mother. “Anyways I know this is a lot to ask for but something terrible has happened, Hudson needs a heart transplant, I have no money and no insurance, and I need my little boy to stay alive, he keeps me happy every day. I am so sorry I have let you down but I cannot do this without your help.” “Carissa, honey I am sorry but there is nothing I can do, your father and I have separated since the last time I spoke with you, you left without even saying goodbye, and you completely let me down for the past four years now, I hope you can find help somewhere else, goodbye Carissa.” She slammed the hospital phone down, and threw it at the white plaster wall, and began sobbing again. Her life was falling apart right before her eyes. As she looked across the hall at a sickly little girl laying in her hospital bed with both her parents and her little brother surrounding her, she wished Hudson could have the same, a family. Carissa was happy to have a family growing up but decided to rebel because of the severe rules implemented in her family, her rebelling led her to the life she had to lead for herself and her son.
Days passed and Hudson was still in the hospital, the food served seemed so glamorous to him, the expressions of happiness when the plates of food came to his room, made his mother even more upset about another failure she had in her son, she wondered how terrible of a mother she appeared to be, when her son enjoyed the cafeteria food from a hospital. The doctor came in and explained how Hudson only had about another week to live without a heart transplant, and that if a matching one is found that Carissa would need proof that she could afford the procedure before it was done. When Hudson had fallen asleep she decided to take that time to walk back to the homeless shelter to retrieve his belongings, so he could be in his own pajamas, and so he could sleep with his favorite teddy bear, she didn’t accept the fact his death was in just a week’s time, she couldn’t even begin to picture life without him.
Carissa left the hospital and started walking down the road toward the shelter. She already began to look at life differently, flowers didn’t seem bright anymore, roses looked black, and the fast paced city life she once loved became a world of selfishness. Across the street she saw a tall, dark curly hair boy wearing a camouflage jacket, and jeans walking toward her, as he came closer to her sight she thought she was seeing things; it looked exactly like Hunter, the love of her life! He yelled her name from across the street telling her how much he had missed her and that he can’t continue life without her love. As she approached him, a big black suburban struck him. He fell to the ground in what seemed like slow motion, his body had smashed the black concrete road with intense force. Carissa ran up to Hunter, screaming for help. She was not only in shock of him being hit by a truck, but just seeing him was overwhelming enough. He was barely able to speak, his raspy voice whispered “I love you so much Carissa, I think about you every single day,” she noticed the amount of blood he was losing, and realized the other person she loved as much as Hudson, was also going to die. Flashbacks of memorable moments were now so clear to Carissa, Hunter was laying almost lifeless in her arms and he still felt like the same boy, the one she had always loved, the one she hurt so badly, and how everyday she thought about the damage she had caused him emotionally. “I’m going to die but your little boy doesn’t have to, I’ve brought you something, check my pockets.” “I’ll always be watching after you, and I’ll always love you.” Hunter took one last breath, gazing with love in his eyes at his lovely Carissa. His blood was covering Carissa, like a thick velvet blanket, she felt like her heart had just bled out as much blood as Hunter had lost, as she watched him take his last breath. Those words Hunter had spoken to Carissa before he left her standing over his dead body. Inside his pocket she found information on a heart donor, and a check written out to her for the amount of money needed for Hudson’s heart transplant. As she read over and over the information as if she couldn’t believe her eyes, she looked down at where Hunter was laying in the road, he was gone, nothing was there, she was squatted down on the pavement with an envelope with “HEART DONER FOR HUDSON” written on the outside of it, but there was not a single trace of Hunter’s presence, just the aura of his never ending love for her.


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