I hurt, I scream, I smile

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

self Infliction, thoughts of suicide.

I have just hurt my self...again

Scratching away at my already withered skin with a silver blade.

They call me a self harmer, inflicting pain

But I believe I only sheild my heart from the harm which lies outside like a dark shadowed shade.

My scars are now cuts. Bleeding.

By hurting myself I am succeeding.

Noone knows, noone really sees

The pain deep within, the pain which is killing me.

They want to help by they cant

The love I have for them is gone, but the razor is sharp nolonger blunt.

I cut for a reason , the reason which no one can figure out

To my family it is a personal treason, but this is the only way my whisper evolves to a rumbling shout.

Hurting myself is the only way I can deal with my distorted self

I have an addiction to storing away all my problems on a hidden shelf

All the pain releases with the blood which pours

I hope to stitch the cut with the thread of hope, he hope to have my own door to freedom, may i have numerous doors.

I hope to see the horizon soon when the pain kills me

I hope that my family can finally see

The cuts are the only way I can show

That I have let myself go.

I dont accept myself, not anymore.

I have changed now I must take that step out the door.

With my scars I will go

Towards a new place where all my problems will disappear and the love for myself can finally flow.

I Believe I can smile now, after the painful screams and the sustaining hurt.

I hurt, I scream, I smile.

Submitted: December 14, 2009

© Copyright 2020 Reneeta. All rights reserved.

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