“Don’t fucking try and compete with me, you will lose every time,” her mother spat at her in her normal evil voice. Candice was confused, she had never tried to compete with her mother all she wanted was to understand. Why was her mother so angry all the time? Why was her mother so quick to snap at anyone for anything? This was the second time this week Candice’s mother was on a roll.
Even though Candice was eighteen she always felt like a scared two year old around her mother. The way her voice roared was louder and deeper than any mans; her face was always squinted in the ugliest manner. Once her mother was done with her Dailey beating Candice retrieved to her room and began to write just like every other time. The safety of her pen and journal were comforting. They caught her tears and let her express herself. Every emotion was captured on the pages of her journal, every secret that was kept. Once all of her emotions were out she closed tight the pink and green journal and stored it under her pillow for safe keeping. Her laptop opened up and brightly welcomed her to her finance page. Instantly a frown appeared on Candice’s already sad face. She hadn’t had enough money to move out on her own. Since she was laid off, she couldn’t find work. She really had tried to look for a job, but nothing was available. The laptop closed with a thud and fell to the floor. Candice shifted all her weight to her bad and began to cry. She cried so hard she thought she would dehydrate.
“Candice cook dinner!” Her mother yelled her down once again. Candice limped off of her bed and down the stairs; she looked forward to the day she can have surgery on her knee so that she could walk normal again. “Hurry up!”
“My knee hurts.”
“Does it look like I care? Because I don’t. Now hurry up and cook the rice.” Tears brimmed in Candice’s eyes once again, but this time from the pain. Her knee was twice the size of the other one, and it began to throb.
As Candice cooked the rice, she starting to think about how much more of this she could take. She was definitely at her breaking point, and she wanted her life to be over with. After her cooking was done she limped back up to her room to write:
To my friends and family:
I’m sorry I did this. Just know I tried to hang in there as long as I could. I couldn’t take the criticism, harsh words, and lack of concern any longer. Just know that none of this is your fault, if you’re going to blame anyone it should be mom. Her words cut deeper than her hits, and it all became too much. We all know I was her biggest mistake and I’m sorry for that. I wish I could have been everything you wanted in a daughter.
That night when no one was paying attention Candice walked to a nearby bridge. The bridge over looked sharp rocks and rapid moving water. Second thoughts passed through her head, but then she remembered every rude thing her mother said to her. Her mother’s words burned in her head again. It was like a swarm of bees that were angered. Finally when it became too much she took a few steps forward until she was on the tip of the edge. With one final breath she whispered the words, “I hope you’re happy this is all you’ve ever wanted,” and jumped.
© Copyright 2017 Reylene Abbott. All rights reserved.
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