DIY Doubts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Samuel's marriage has his a rocky patch...well actually, its been stranded in the rocks for a while now and it doesn't look like theres much hope for them. Its only when he reflects on his life that he realises how he really feels.

Submitted: June 16, 2010

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Submitted: June 16, 2010



Nobody told me I was doing it wrong; or at the very least I’d decided not to listen. ‘House is looking a bit bleak’ is what the wife said, ‘Bit of DIY should fix it.’

The truth is she knew as well as I did that I’m a paper and pen man, never was one for the hammer and chisel. In fact, honestly, my wife is more of the burly builder type than I am. There’s a reason that down at the local I’m known as ‘Stick Man Sam’ but when she sets her mind to something there’s nothing that I or anyone else can do to change it.


Then of course she went out and spent a fortune on tools and paint, wallpaper and floorboards, looking back on it I can see that hiring the professionals would have saved us so much time and money and I wouldn’t have that dragon I call my wife breathing fire down my back every time we’re alone.

Who am I kidding, she’s crazy, demanding and a right royal pain but I love her…well I say love, I can tolerate her…from time to time at least. For the most part I close my eyes and click my heels ‘There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.’


Between working and sleeping I did, as she demanded, the kitchen was the first to get a taste of complete and utter chaos. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing so I sought out the hammer, removed the price tag and broke down everything…and I mean everything…the walls, the ceiling, fixtures and fittings; it all came down. That was the beginning of the end, that’s what stirred the beast.


‘What were you thinking? A bit bleak I said, a bit of DIY. At what point did I say, Samuel, what this house is lacking is the look and feel of a cave!’ she shrieked.


‘Sorry dear I just thought…’

‘…Thought Wrong! That’s you, nothings ever done right, always wrong…wrong…wrong.’ She interjected.


If hindsight has taught me one thing; in all my years as a man ‘under the thumb’ it is that marriage is a slippery slope and boy do I mean slippery.

You know how there comes that morning in every mans life when he wakes up, look in the mirror and sees an old man staring back and suddenly he realises that he’s aged about thirty years overnight. Well; every morning I wake to find my wife lying beside me and there’s this feeling in my chest, sort of, I don’t know, regret?

I know it’s not healthy to live with a ‘what if…’ attitude but honestly, if I could go back to when I saw that beautiful, dazzling and bloody perfect girl walking down the isle…I’d leg it, as fast as my legs could carry me I’d run and never stop running! They say that’s the best way to live you know, always running, never looking back. Time to live for the moment, my life, right?

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