Collapsed Heart

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
A Sci-Fi take on suicide or not.

Submitted: November 06, 2009

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Submitted: November 06, 2009

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Collapsed Heart

It had been a rotten day in a rather average life but things were about to change. The rough passage of his life through an uncaring universe had shaped him in such away that he would be able to see a crack in the universe as it passed him and jump into it. He was not bitter, he was just bored and was trying to cope with a clash of disappointments that he just needed a little peace or happiness to cope with. Happiness was pointless even contemplating. And peace would not come and he knew it in his bones and that was the toughest of his troubles, the feeling that it would never stop was the killer. This hacked deep into his otherwise strong character, for he felt that his perseverance would only lead to greater loss of faith and the wish that he had died younger with more illusions. The crack grew nearer in both time and space and it ached to be filled.

The crack was an ancient mistake from the birth of the universe, when unimaginable forces shaped the chaos. It was a flaw in the universe that needed a precisely shaped piece to fill it, negating itself buy combining with the piece that fit. It had a bizarre quantum intelligence that allowed it to navigate around the universe looking for the piece and it had been flitting round earth since life evolved on it. Such was the urgency of balancing such a flaw the universe had prepared for this eventuality by making intelligence an emergent property of struggle. Thus the crack had parallel quantum intelligence and humans had their jelly brain. But here at last was a human with the pattern in its brain it needed to balance the cosmic horror that was the crack.

The crack appeared quite normal to Jake, a collection of waves in space and time that expressed every level of the universe. Of course this is accepted physics theory but most people can not see the collapse of these waves from all the possible waves to the only one that is the present. Jake can and in seeing it he is confronted by truth, truth is a bitter pill to swallow and on such a scale as this hopelessly addictive. So his inability to accept fakery separates him from most of his fellow humans as most people would rather have illusions for they provide comfort. There is no comfort for Jake, for he knows and I mean knows that comfort is to lie in the face of weakness. But don’t let that worry you in your comfort, Jake is hopelessly distorted by his affliction and so some of his perceptions are wrong, for normal humans anyway.

The crack started to orbit Jake, as Jake was the only thing in the universe that it could interact with, that was basically it’s greatest flaw. But they would have to both want each other for the combination to take place, the crack was a simple powerful beast and wanted nothing else. Jake was a different story he wanted many things and felt stupid and hopeless in his desire for every one of them. His vision was blurring every couple of seconds as the crack orbited him, he was finally cracking he thought, maybe I should do myself in before I do something stupid or shameful to mark my end. I can’t take anymore it has all gone to shit, I’m just existing and I seem immune to happiness. Life is what you make it, but for all my effort it is still nothing.

The crack extended quantum world lines that if Jake would follow them it would suck him in to fill the crack on all levels of the universal wave. Jake for one of countless times began to think about suicide, who would find him, what his family would think, but he had put it off too long for such petty excuses they would get over it. That was it decided, all he had to decide was how to do it. The crack blurred his vision again and he noticed a deep badness within it that pushed him into decision. Train, under a fucking train, he used to know a train driver, they got people that scraped corpses off of trains for a living. They could deal with it, and if he striped and destroyed all his stuff and “caught” an inter-city train he would probably just be listed as missing. Another unidentified mass of pulped flesh that would only add to already worrying statistics.

Then it happened, he noticed that the blur contained more waves than it should, he then jumped to the realisation that it contained different waves. A different universe, different truth, escape from the pointlessness of his life and all this awful truth. That is what had to happen for him to use what he had learned by staring the universe in the face for most of his adult life. For the first time he used the waves instead of just seeing them and being swept along by them. He the only piece of matter that could stepped into the crack and the universe was healed, Jake was not healed.

Jake felt the crack and it’s memories combine with him and the fact he was now separated from the universe. The badness of the crack sunk into his soul and the quantum intelligence was passed to Jake. Of course the crack in the universe still exited as Jake but when he died the crack would die with him and Jake’s life was a blink of the eye in universal terms. Jake could interact with universe still, so it could still kill him, that had been the crack’s problem it could not react with anything so it was a permanent flaw until it met Jake. But Jake was now no longer was constrained by the universe he could break the rules by moving around it instead of through it. This made his heart leap with joy and all thoughts of suicide were gone. He swiped his arm at a passing lamppost and his arm emerged from the other side as if it nothing was there.

He swiped at it again and this time exerted pressure and he cut through with no friction whatsoever. The lamppost fell into the busy traffic and a car swerved at Jake and passed through him, he exerted himself and found himself in the passenger seat of a beautiful girl's car. She looked at him in a mixture of relief and panic as she brought the car to a stop. He looked at her with love as he could see her soul and it was the most precious thing in the universe. He reached into her with his quantum intelligence and touched her soul with his, this immediately comforted her as she had found that someone and he wanted nothing but her.

He reached out and changed the universe that was him and changed his pattern so he no longer could see the universe in such detail for he had both seen enough and seen the only thing he had ever wanted to see. He no longer was the piece that fitted and the crack was flung back into the universe alone back on it’s quest for negation. Jake introduced himself to the love of his life. God it seems does work in mysterious ways.


© Copyright 2020 Richard J Perry. All rights reserved.

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