Golden Sound

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A story of my heart and I.

Submitted: May 19, 2014

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Submitted: May 19, 2014

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Golden Sound

Part 1

 

 

The morning light dazzled my eyes as I woke up for the first time. The scent of fried eggs slowly woke me to my senses and soon made me realized that my mom just prepared eggs and rice for our first breakfast. I got out of bed and began to get dressed, but I still looked like a bum. She greeted me with a smile as I slowly walked towards the food. She complained about the way I dressed and got another set of clothes for me because she doesn’t want to get embarrassed when people look at me. I didn’t really care and began to eat the food as my mom nagged at me over how I dressed and acted. The eggs and rice were too hard to eat, but I tried my best to eat it all as she asked me if I liked it. I stuffed the food in a flash because I couldn’t bear to tell her the truth behind her cooking.  To be honest, I love my mom, but her cooking is down right awful.. I didn't want to say anything insulting to her because she was sensitive about her cooking. The breakfast made me feel happy since my mom still continued to cooked for me after everything we’ve been through together. My mom and I moved all the way here due to many reasons including ones of my own. We both had to find a place for a new start.

 

In America, I was completely alone and didn’t have many friends. I didn’t have any major insecurities or problems about myself. My appearance wasn’t bad at all, I was a bit shorter than other people but that didn’t made me difference from anyone else. I had black hair with a tanned skin color. I wasn’t overweight or fat. I was just a simple asian boy whose name was Richard. The schools, cities, and neighborhoods were completely filled with caucasians, so my mom and I stood out the most. Kids at school and in my neighborhood always insulted me by calling me “chink” and other racist terms. I put in a lot of attempts to make them stop harassing me, but it wouldn’t stop. It was clear that it was pointless trying to stop them. I didn’t mind not .having friends because I knew that I wasn’t going to stay here for long. Behind all of my reasons; The real reason why I moved with my mom was because she was tired of my father and divorced him for cheating with someone else. In the end, my father stayed with my older brother in America and my mom took me with her to Kurdistan for company.

 

2

Daily life was odd, but it wasn’t that bad compared to my past life in America. My life in Kurdistan felt a little bit similar to my life in America because everyone else was another ethnic group and I wasn’t. I tried my best not to stand out in public since I was afraid that people will judge me based on my appearance and actions. I knew that I didn’t look anything like the boys in Kurdistan and that made it harder for me to fit in, just like in America. I kept thinking that Kurdistan might be the same as America, so I didn’t take any risks of making new friends or interacting with other kids. I knew this was going to be my new life, so I didn’t bother trying to change it and had to get used to it. I had my mom and myself; that was all I needed.

 

The heat and the unending boredom quickly consumed me as I waited inside my house for something to happen, but nothing big happened for a few hours. I ended up asking my mom for permission to go outside. She was very indecisive about letting me go out because we just arrived yesterday night. My mom was scared of me leaving, but I told her that I wouldn’t go far; she gave in and agreed. She gave me a kiss on the cheek for safety and I left the house for the first time. I was extremely nervous about going out, so I began to feel more embarrassed about myself as I traveled farther away from my home. Each footstep away from home made the streets reak with poverty, but I tried my best to ignore it. There were many girls who wore hijabs and I began to feel bad for them because the heat, along with my nervousness, already made me sweaty. As I kept on walking around the neighborhood, everyone’s eyes surrounded me so I rushed back home because I got embarrassed from their stares. I ended up staying home for the rest of the morning.

 

As the sun started to set, outside became darker and the temperature became cool, but sounds of water droplets suddenly appeared. I checked outside if it was raining, but it wasn’t. I checked around my household to see if there’s a leak somewhere, but I couldn’t find one. I asked my mom if she could hear the sound of water droplets, but she just gave me a strange face since it was very silent and peaceful.. The sound made me extremely curious until I walked outside without thinking. By the time I noticed where I was, I didn’t bother turning back, so I kept running towards the sound. When I reached the location of the sounds, street lights began to turn on and the stars began to show themselves in the sky. The sound of the droplets was coming from an abandoned playground, but there was no one in sight.  As soon as I roamed around, I saw a shadowy figure. The figure shocked me and made me hid in a nearby bush. I realized it was a figure of a girl. She startled me because I didn’t expect anyone to be here at this place and time. I crept closer to her and I noticed that she had dark and wavy hair that flowed over her shoulders that fitted her light skin tone. She had light brown eyes framed by her long eyelashes which sparked along with the stars. She had a body of a model, but it shocked me that she was somewhat around my height too. I thought to myself as my jaw dropped, “She was the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.”

 

3

 

I was completely silent and hidden in the bushes. I constantly stared at her without noticing that I was basically acting like a creep. I crawled even closer without realizing it and accidently stepped on a small twig. Sweat and nervousness began to break out as the sound of the broken twig faded away. I thought to myself that she might not have heard it, but I was dead wrong. Before I realized it, she looked directly at me and I panicked, but I immediately gained some courage to walk out and talk to her before she got the wrong idea. “Uh hey...” were the first words I ever said to someone else besides my mom as I slowly approached her. An awkward moment of silence was between us, but soon died out as I tried another attempt to talk to her.  “Can you understand me?” My face turned red because it would been very embarrassing if she couldn’t. I thought she didn’t know much English so I began to wave my hands to make hand gestures and slowly explain things to her. She smiled at me while mocking me. She easily said to me, “Hey, i’m Sumayah” with a perfect English accent. After I heard her talk, I felt extremely embarrassed for my hand gestures and slowly talking to her the whole time. I tried to repeat her name and horribly stuttered, “Hey S-ur-ayaa, I’m Richard”, knowing that I messed up big time on pronouncing her name. She had a huge frown on her face by the time I finished saying her name. She began to yell mercilessly at me, “It’s SU-MAY-AH..” She made me repeat her name over and over for the rest of the night. Before I knew it, her name perfectly rolled off my tongue and stayed within my heart.

 

Sumayah told me with a huge smile on her face as it was getting really late ,  “I’ll be here often so you better come here!” I didn’t know how to respond to that because I honestly didn’t expect she would say that. I was too embarrassed to reply to her. As I tried my very best just to reply to her, I became speechless and words became numbers and blabbering came flying out of my mouth. In the end, I nodded my head with my mouth wide open. She gave me a funny look and laughed at me as my face turned bright red. Sumayah and I continued to talk until here weren’t much to talk about. We ended up laying down on the slide at the playground looking the starry night. We kept on peeking at each other while one of us aren’t looking, but knowing me, I always looked at her. I never knew how much being in love could change me or how I look at things. Sumayah’s stomach growled because she was starving and the sound of her stomach traveled across the playground. I tried to hold in my laugh, but I ended up roaring with laugher. She ended up socking me in my side and now I was in pain that wasn’t painful at all.

 

Before we both decided it was time to leave,  we promised to meet here again with a simple pinky promise. I didn’t want Sumayah to leave, but she told me that she was really hungry and have to go home to eat. I wanted to take her out to eat, but I was broke and didn’t know where to eat. I gave up on persuading her to stay so we parted way. Sumayah disappeared in the shadow and I couldn’t figure out what direction she went. I ran back home because I realized that Kurdistan could be dangerous at night, but there was something even more dangerous at home. As soon as I saw my house from a distance, I saw my that my mom was waiting for me while tapping her shoes against the floor. I began to sweat from fear of what my mom would do to me, but out of nowhere, she  ran to me and gave me a hug. I knew that I was the only thing and person that my mom had left, but I still left her and made her worried. It made me sad but I sincerely apologized, ” I’m sorry for leaving without asking.” Then I told her everything that happened that night with Sumayah. She quickly realized that I was deeply and madly in love with Sumayah because I talked about nothing, but Sumayah.

 

4

 

I woke up with a smile that stretched from cheek to cheek on my face. Boredom and the weather couldn’t affect how I felt. My mom saw me with a big smile and gave me a funny look. She made breakfast and she started the day with the same horrible eggs and hard rice, but it tasted amazing today. After breakfast, I quickly asked my mom for permission to go outside to look for Sumayah. My mom agreed and she gave me a kiss for good luck as I travel off to look for Sumayah. I roamed all over the neighborhood to look for Sumayah, but I had no luck. I also looked around for restaurants and shops that maybe I can take Sumayah to. All the girls wore covers and it felt like Sumayah could have been anyone that I might have passed by. I thought that maybe the sound would appear although it was morning, but it didn’t at all. Time quickly went by because I was too concerned about where Sumayah was. All my thoughts revolved around her and she was all I could think about.

 

The sun settled and it was night time again and this time, I asked my mom if I could leave. She effortlessly said to me, “I know” with an adoring smile. As I walked outside, I couldn’t remember the spot where I had met Sumayah, however the same sounds of droplet slowly appeared. I followed the sound and it led me straight to the abandoned playground again. I soon saw the same shadowy figure from the night before. I knew that it was Sumayah because of her height, but especially from how her body was shaped. I thought to myself as a huge smile appeared on my face, “Oh my god, it’s Sumayah again.”  She was already there and walking in circle. As I approached her, she quickly faced towards me with her gorgeous self but with an impatient face. She gave me a funny look as I walked closer towards her because there was a huge smile on my face. She embarrassingly told me, “You better stop that face or I’ll slap it off of you,” but there also was a smile on her face.  After hearing that, I laughed at her because I knew she wouldn’t slap me, but she slapped me right on my cheek in a flash. I didn’t know what to explain to my mom when she finds out about the slap mark on my face. Sumayah covered her face and quietly told me, “Next time, you better get here sooner or else I’ll leave.” “What did you say?” I responded because I couldn’t hear her voice since she was too quiet. She came closer next to my face. I thought she would give me a kiss, but she shouted directly into my ear, “ You better get here sooner or else I won’t be here anymore!” After hearing that from her, it made me almost deaf, but it also made me never want to leave her. “I’ll try my best to get here earlier, but just wait for me if I’m late. I promise I’ll always be here!” I told her with confident and teasingly acting like a soldier by saluting my hand to my head.  We both met each other every night for a few months and eventually learned more about each other. Although she was Kurdish and Muslim,  I wanted to be with her. I told her about my background and why I was here. She told me about herself, but most of the time; I was lost in her eyes. Somehow it felt like she was hiding something from me, but I didn’t want to bother her by asking. In spite of my foolish self; we didn’t have a lot in common, but we still managed to make each other happy. She was all I needed to be happy, but I still didn't know how she felt about me.

 

5

 

A couple of months went by without realizing it. My life in Kurdistan became easier since I met Sumayah. The times and moments that I spent with Sumayah became the only reasons why I got up and smiled everyday. I didn’t want those days to end, but I realized that I haven't asked her out yet although it already been a few months. I didn’t worry about money because I’ve been working from a job that my mom’s friend gave me for a couple months. I’ve been saving up because I wanted to take Sumayah out everywhere… but the thing is that I never had a girlfriend or even experienced a relationship. My mom was the only person that I knew who actually been in a relationship so I had to ask her for help. My mom was cleaning the house and doing chores. She was surprised that I was already up at this time of day.  She wondered why I was up until I started to ask her some questions. She smiled at me when I began asking her for advices for getting a girlfriend. She warned me all the risks of falling in love because she have been through it all and back. She came up with an idea and told me to wait as she searched through her belongings. She held up a simple solid gold ring but, I realized that it was her old wedding ring. She gave me her wedding ring without any hesitance and told me, “This ring doesn’t mean much to me anymore, but it could mean a lot to you and her.” My face quickly turned red as she handed over the ring. “Am I really going to give Sumayah a ring…” I embarrassingly thought to myself, but what else could I give to her. I gave my mom a kiss and a long hug in return and went back into my room to figure out a way to give Sumayah the ring.

 

I laid in bed as I tried to figure out a plan, but I dozed off to sleep. By the time I woke up, the sun settled down before I realized it. I rushed out of bed and forgot to dress myself for tonight. I quickly asked my mom to go out, but she began giving me a long lecture about what should I do then she finally let me go out. As I ran outside, I noticed that the sound sounded even more beautiful today. I followed the sound of the rain droplets like usual and it led me right to Sumayah.  Sumayah surprised me by dressing up with her fancy clothes. I was in awe as my eyes were on her from her toes to her head. I always knew that she was gorgeous but until this extent made me realized that she was the only one who made my heart skip a beat and my jaw drop. In my head, I thought she looked like an actual princess and I was her prince although I looked like a bum in my clothes. Her face was red as a rose as we started to talked. She was trying her best to talk and began to tell me about how great the capital of Kurdistan was and how she always wanted to live there. I just listened to her because she kept on talking nonstop.

 

6

 

I didn’t know why she dressed up like this today, but I honestly didn’t mind it at all. It kept making me blush as I kept looking at her. It made me even more nervous to give her the ring because I didn’t bother on dressing up since I was too concerned about on how to give her the ring. It took me awhile to gain courage to give it to her while there was a long awkward silence between us. “Sumayah?” I suddenly told her as I tried my hardest to not look into her eyes since it would make me turn more red than a tomato. She couldn’t keep a straight face on as I slowly looked at her in the eyes. She didn’t say a word. “Can you put out your left hand?” I told her as my voice started to feel uneasy. She shooted out her left hand and almost punched me in my face, but I managed to dodge it and played it cool. I said to her, “It was my mom’s ring. It doesn’t mean a lot to her, but now it means the world to me because you’re wearing it” as I slipped it onto her left ring finger. She slapped me as soon as I finished, but I didn’t look away from her because I figured out that was her way of saying that she’s embarrassed. She kissed me after she slapped me and pressed her forehead against mine. She said, “Thank you, I never want to lose you or imagine of losing you.” I truly wish these days would last forever. We both made our vows and promises to never leave. Those words roamed in my head and gave me a new reason to live again.

 

I got used to the morning routine of getting up, eating my mom’s horrible foods, and basically living in Kurdistan. My mom recently got adjusted to living here and started to leave the house. My mom isn’t at  home that often anymore, but I didn’t mind since I’m always gone at night time. I noticed that I didn’t have an intention of changing my lifestyle here anymore because I enjoy my life here now. I never wanted to leave Kurdistan or Sumayah because everything felt better here than what I had in America. Everything just fits perfectly to me. Since my mom isn’t home that often and knew what I always do; I didn’t had to ask her for permission anymore. There wasn’t much foods at home anymore, but I always managed to stuff myself before I left the house.

 

The days always went by fast since I always look forwards to being with Sumayah.  By this time, it's obvious that I'm a boy who's heels over head over a girl. I started to go out of the house as soon as the sun started to settle. I saw a huge figure heading towards my house as I was rushing towards the park; I didn’t care much about it. I came to the spot in sweats, but with a huge smile on my face. Sumayah was standing still in the distance but, she was with someone else. I never saw this person, but I approached towards them. I slowly walked up to her and noticed that it was a guy who was around the same age as her, but that didn’t get my attention. My eyes were directly on Sumayah as the man kept his focus on me. I noticed that Sumayah didn’t want to look at me. She held onto him as I was confused.

 

Sumayah told to me, “Richard.. We can’t do this anymore. I didn't want to tell you this, but I recently got a fiance named Sinh.  There were rumors that I was meeting you and it got to my parents and Sinh .” I tried to speak to her, but nothing came out of my mouth. Sinh, her fiance, harshly told me, “You disrespected me by talking to my fiance without my permission. You will never see or hear of Sumayah again. You're not even Muslim or Kurdish. What are you trying to achieve here when Sumayah's parents won't ever accept you.” I already knew about what he was talking about. I knew that I wasn’t Muslim or Kurdish as soon as I fell for her, but that didn't stop me from trying. I wish I didn’t come here to begin with. I should have just stayed home. A part of me was in pain, but there was no way that i'll show Sumayah this side of me. I looked straight down to avoid Sumayah’s pitiful eyes on me as I went to pick up the pieces of the ring. Sumayah and Sinh was about to leave. I looked at her back as I wish and prayed that she would look back at me; She didn’t. Her back began to fade away slowly. I was there alone. I did nothing, but try to put everything in order. My world felt like it fell apart completely in a night and my heart broke in an instant.

 

7

 

I didn’t know how I woke up at home but, I realized I was laying with the ring in my hand. It was painful getting up from my bed for some reason. The scent of eggs and rice were gone today. I figure that my mom didn’t make breakfast this morning, but I heard a man’s voice as I was in bed.  My mom called me down to talk to her. I knew something is going to happen. As I walked down; barely keeping a footing. A fairly large muslim man was sitting in my spot of the table while eating a decent breakfast instead of eggs and rice. "Richard, this is Ali." I slowly figured out what happened. My mom had been seeing another man without telling me. She explained to me and that she will get married soon and we will live somewhere else with him. I couldn’t figure out what to say..

 

Weeks eventually went by while I stayed inside my house all of the time. My morning became pointless, so I didn’t bother trying to get up because my mom stopped making breakfast for me, but continued for Ali. Ever since she met , my mom stopped her usual routine of waking me up and the usual. She completely stopped talking to me and began to ignore me when I tried to ask for something. It was obvious and painful to realize that my mom completely replaced me with Ali in her life. There was no more reasons to get up and live in Kurdistan.  I knew I didn’t had anything  to look forward to. I lost Sumayah and all I had was a mom who abandoned her son for a new guy. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I don’t know what to do or anything. My mind and world is in a complete mess. I thought I finally found a place to settle down and just be happy. Just everything ended in one day. Everything I’ve worked and built up was completely destroyed. All I managed to do was laid in bed and asked myself,  “Can I just die?”

 

8

Mornings quickly became night,  but I didn't care.  I always kept myself busy with the stupidest things so it would distract me from my mom and from Sumayah. Although I tried my best to distract myself,  I would still hear the sound, but it kept sounding worse each night. I never figured out what the sound was or where it came from to begin with. All I knew was that the sound would take me to Sumayah again.. but I couldn’t go to her. I know that she is now with Sinh and it breaks my heart to just think about it. I know that she will replace me with him. I know that it will be just me in the end. The sound kept on annoying me as I tried to distract myself. I couldn't help, but to constantly think of Sumayah again. "Sumayah, are you happy? How are you doing? " I mumbled to myself. It was obvious that I missed her more than anything, but it clearly showed me how much I loved her.  All of thoughts revolved around her and I knew I couldn’t live without her anymore. I stopped caring about my mom and her new man and all I wanted was to be with Sumayah again. I wanted to tell her anything and everything about how I really feel about her. I know I can’t speak to her directly so I began to write her a letter. I didn’t know to start it, but I eventually figure it out. Countless nights  went by as I put in many attempts into writing her letter. I couldn’t sleep or rest without finishing it, but it been almost over couple days since I haven’t slept so I took my mother’s sleeping pills.

 

9

Night time approached while I prepared myself mentally to head out. I was nervous and afraid to leave, but the sound began to ache my ears as if someone was calling for me. I couldn't bear to handle the sound and eventually made leave. I grabbed the ring on my way out  and continue to run towards the sound. The sound took me right back to the abandoned playground again. I wasn't surprised since it always took me here. My eyes searched the areas and I saw her; I saw Sumayah again. As I approached her, she avoided looking into my eyes; I knew something was wrong. I carefully examined her; her eyes were puffy from crying and she was dehydrated and hurt with bruises and cuts.  "I'm so sorry that I  wasn't here, especially when you needed me the most" I told her as I held onto her. She glanced up to me and smiled. “I told you that next time; you better get here sooner or else I’ll leave but, Richard, You’re late… really late”, she  told me as she starts to faint. I caught her in time before she hit the ground, but I noticed that she waited for me for a very long time. I whispered to her, “I love you Sumayah,” but she couldn’t hear me. Bruises, cuts, and other injuries traveled across her body made me angry, but showed me that she wasn’t happy here. I already knew a place that would make her the happiest. I managed to find a ride before sunrise started. I didn't have much to give the person, but instead he lent us some money since he noticed how's Sumayah and myself are doing. We arrived at a nearby neighborhood far away from my house and Sumayah’s house. She always tell me all the wonderful things about the outskirt of Kurdistan, so I knew she would like to be here. We rested in a nearby park, but as soon as she woke up. “Welcome back Sumayah ” was the first words that came out to my mouth as she opened her eyes. She told me, “I never left. You idiot.” as I put the ring on her finger.

~I woke up from this dream with a smile on my face at first then I realized that I was in bed with scraps of paper around me. “It was just a dream”, I cried to myself as a sharp pain pierced in my heart.I ran towards to the park to see if Sumayah was there. There was no one in sight and it killed me to see no one here. The sound of the droplets disappeared completely. I dropped to my knees and cried so much that I couldn’t see anything. I begged to god to tell Sumayah how much I needed her back but all I heard back was nothing but silent. I laid down as I slowly talked to myself, “Sumayah, I’m sorry that I never took you out to places. I’m sorry that I couldn’t cherish you as much as you wanted me to. I just.. hope Sinh can do all of that. I just hope that Sinh can love you as much as I can.” I reached inside my pocket to grab a letter out. I tied the letter on a pole that she usually stands by. I told myself that I should just leave her alone now. Sinh will make her happier. I gave her my everything and it wasn’t enough to please her. I wanted to die. I wanted to leave. Being here is worse than being in America. I began to walk away from the park. I continuously looked back to see if she would come, but what a fool I was to think that she would come.. but I rather be a fool who’s in love than just a fool.
 
The End.
 
Letter content:
Hey Sumayah. 
 
This is Richard. I'm not sure if you can remember me so I'll tell you everything from day 1.
 
I was completely alone before I met you. I was empty before I met you. I wanted to die over and over again before I met you. I went to countless therpy lesson before I met you. I never smiled before I met you. I never laughed but always cried before I met you. I never tried at anything before I met you. When I met you; It was a memory that I can't forget. At first, I thought you were just another girl and I can't even pronounce your name. I thought you weren't last with me and that you would leave me in a day. You stayed and fought for me. I fell in love with you at that moment instant. I thought to myself, "wow.. is she really doing this for me?" After that, I felt attached to you. I began to wrote you countless of goodnight letters and just a million of letters to tell you how much I needed and feel about you. I wanted to make you feel as happy as I was. I wanted you to stay with me so I had to put in everything I have. I know that I couldn't see you or hold you whenever you needed someone.. but I always stayed up late just in case you might need someone to talk to. I didn't want to miss a single moment with you. I know that we always argue over the littlest things. I apologized a million times to you. I'm sorry that I hurt you so many times. I'm sorry that I made you cry. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the man that you dreamt of. I'm sorry that I ended up broken. I'm sorry that I'm always crying. I'm sorry that I wasn't worth fighting for. I'm sorry for doing those stuff to you and asma. I'm sorry that I never gave up on you. I'm sorry that I always.. always prayed and wished that you are happy. You really mean the world to me, but now you belong to someone else. I know Sinh is a good guy and that you chose him over me. I can't make you choose me and I can't make you love me.. but if I can make you happy then I would. I would still give it my all to make you smile every single day. I wish that you noticed it by now.. I still love you then and now because I can't give up on something that I can't go a day without thinking of. Even though my heart broke into a billion pieces; I'm sure every single pieces love you. I just wish I wasn't much to you so you can forget everything about me completely. I doubt that I can forget about you.. even now, I'll look after you and make sure you're alright because you are my happiness.
 


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