The Us Open

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
The Us Open

Submitted: April 24, 2017

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Submitted: April 24, 2017




It was sometime in mid-July of 2013 or 14. I'm not really sure of the specifics. Anyway, my friends Brian,Andre, and I decided to take a trip out to Huntington Beach for the Us Open, for those people who don't know, no, It's not fucking tennis. It's the Us Open of Surf and it's a fantastic time of year where HB becomes a Mecca for excessive drinking, every ethnicity of females in bikinis, and not to mention one of the raddest surf competitions in the world. All of Main St is blocked off and is completely packed with people from all over the world. The first time Brian and I went to the Us Open we chugged whiskey or some shit, out of a sprite bottle in an alley with some Irish dudes, but that's a whole different story. 
Fast forward a few hours and we were all pretty drunk, Brian and Andre got their fair share of drinks at the bar, I wasn't 21 yet, so I couldn't drink legally but I did anyway, of course. We got a bottle of Sailor Jerrys and hit the beach, we were drinking for about 2 or 3 hours, maybe less. But the point is I was pretty drunk, we all were. So we end up making our way over to a drum circle we saw off in the distance that was full of your stereotypical hippie type people and continued our drinking. It was starting to get dark at this point and the drum circle started to brew into a liquor fueled, testosterone pumped, frenzyfrom the people flossing over from the bars. Out of fucking nowhere, out of the darkness, here comes this guy running like he just escaped a plantation with cops looking like slave owners coming in hot from the back, just ready to take this fucking guy out, so the guy makes a B-line right for a wall, jumps up and stops immediately before jumping over, I don't think he realized it at first but the other side of the wall is like 10-15 feet high. I'm probably exaggerating a little bit,  but either way it's a high ass wall. I'm sure this guy realized in his even in his drunkenness that it would have fucked his world if he would've take that plunge. So the cop rips this guy down and proceeds to arrest him, but not before drunk runner guys buddy intervenes and ends up getting arrested too. Now, all while this is happening, I simultaneously saw a homeless man sitting on the wall next to me touch a cops horse, and get slammed into the fucking concrete like a rag doll, I'm pretty sure he had a cane too. At the same moment, for reasons still unknown, Brian decides to sprint, towards a cop, and bunny hops over his back. Now picture that, Brian, 6'2, 6'3, Asian. BUNNY HOPED A COP. Literally sprinted toward him while he was apprehending his suspect, put his hands on his back and played leap frog with this fucking guy. It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever witnessed, but It was amazing. After he jumped over the cop he ran across the street, did a full circle, came back, and sat down like nothing happened. Wild. After that, we migrated a little more towards the pier and just as we were there was a cop chopper in the air was shining its spotlight down on us, game on. So what was our first reaction? That's right. We flipped that motherfucker off like our middle fingers would explode if we didn't.  As we were doing that some pissy bitch behind us was getting 'very offended' by what we were doing. 

Pissybitch: "You guys are so immature, you need to grow the fuck up" 


Something along those lines. So after that I guess Pissybitch couldn't stand the heat so she wanted her boyfriend to hop in the kitchen for her, so when he came up to us, Brian took over and I'm guessing there conversation went something like 

PissyBf: "blah blah blah" 

Brian: WHAT!? You wanna fuckin go!? 

Apparently, PissyBf agreed because before me, him, his girlfriend, or Andre knew it, we were walking across the street to an alley so they could fight. We get to the cross walk, and Brian has his fucking shirt off and shadowboxing like he's training to fight Mayweather, at the cross walk. So we start walking across the street and I'm waving Brian's shirt around like I'm in a fucking rodeo clown drawing up a crowd and just talking shit for no reason other than I just felt like it. I think Brian's shawdowboxing must have really intimidated this guy because when we finally got across the street about to step into the alley, PissyBf walks away, takes one look back and goes 

PissyBf: " I just didn't like the way you were talking to my girlfriend" 

I think that was Brian's victory moment because he wouldn't fucking calm down after it, but I don't know, ask him. When the night died out we decided to call it in and head back to my moms to pass out, we may have left broke, dehydrated, and tired as shit. But we always got a great story to tell. 





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