Lost Within the Spirit

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A man experiances the joys and consequences of falling within oneself.

Submitted: December 15, 2012

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Submitted: December 15, 2012

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Nathan sits at a desk within the police building on the 34th flat block. Time drolls on for him, listening to countless meetings on what to do with a new drug out on the streets called "Wonderland". Supposedly, it caused the user to hallucinate strongly enough to effectively break them from reality. He rubs the stubble along his cheek and neck and sighs before he stares at the ceiling. He tunes into the words his superior says for a minute. "This drug has been spreading like wildfire, and so far it has corrupted more people than the Devil himself". Nathan tunes him out there and stands up, heading towards the door, lighter and pack of cigarettes in hand. Stepping out into the daylight, Nathan squints his eyes and mutters under his breath "Fucking junkies, always finding some way to get a fix" and he lights the cigarette. He closes his eyes and inhales the greyish smoke.

Walking to his apartment several blocks away, Nathan stops and stares at a picture being auctioned off at the local museum. A lone, grande Oak tree stands in the middle of a Wheat field. The wheat painted to look as if it was waving in the wind, the sunlight creating wonderful, curving rays. Sighing sadly, he turns and continues home, the field staying in his mind. Upon entering his apartment, he felt strange. He calls out to the darkness before proceeding in, "Hello? Anyone there?" but with no reply. Stepping in cautiously, one hand inside his coat gripping the handle of his service revolver, the other reaching out for the light switch. 

He flicks on the lights and draws his gun, ready to fire. Breathing heavily he scans the room 'No one here' he thinks as he steps out of the foyer and over to the living room, his eyes still darting around, the feeling of paranoia not leaving his mind. 'Someone has been here, I can feel it', lowering the weapon a bit, he heads into the kitchen, the light from the living room shining in, giving some light to the dimly lit room. Nathan notices the coffee pot on, empty and Seeing the glass crack, he ducks, right as it shatters. "Jesus fuck!", he yells as he walks over to the shattered glass, laying the revolver on the counter. Sighing he turns off the coffee pot and lights up a cigarette.

Nathan awakes in the middle of the night with a silver shaft of light from the moon shining on a woman's pale leg. He jumps up for his revolver but can't find it on his bedside table. He closes his eyes and mutters "Fuck...you're here to kill me aren't you". The woman giggles as he looks upon her, her whole figure shadowed in darkness, her voice a soft soprano with undertones of malice "No, I am here to welcome you to our world, to experiance a place like never before. I am taking you to Wonderland". Nathan can't help but laugh softly "That's bullshit sweetheart, there is no such way known to take it without the use of some sort of medical team on hand". He opens the drawer in his table and pulls out the pack of cigarettes. The woman pulls out a lighter and holds it away from her so as to not show her features. The warm, orange glow from the fire calms him somewhat. Nathan's eyes widen as he spots the latex gloves on this woman.

"Yes, Nathan, we are all trained medical professionals, in our own way at least" and with that she pulls out a hypodermic needle, the contents of it glowing a soft yellowish green. At first Nathan thinks it is a glow stick, but when he hears a soft pop, he knew better. "So what, you're gonna stick me with it and I hallucinate"? he asks, letting smoke out with every breath. "No" she replies gently "I'm going to change your life, for better...or worse" and with that, she plunges the needle into the vain in his foot and presses down on the plunger. Nathan twitches and smacks her hand away too late. He closes his eyes and opens them again.

Wind. Nothing but endless wind upon his face. kissing him gently then rough then gently again. Heat holds his face in a lover's grasp as the wind kisses him. 'What...where' but he isn't able to finish the thoughts as the peacefulness calms his mind. His hearing kicks in, a steady sssshhhhhh as if he was on a beach. The sunlight blinds him a little but causes no pain. Sitting up, his palms sagging slightly into the soft earth, he closes his hand and lifts it, opening it and turning it, feeling the dirt run off his hand and landing with the rest like small meteors breaking upon impact. 

His legs shaky, yet supporting him, he stares up at the brances of a Grande Oak tree. "Wonderful, isn't it". The woman's voice, ethereal and as soft as the wind. Looking around for the source. "Where..." Nathan starts but is cut off by the woman again. "Shhh, do not speak. just enjoy it". Looking down as his bare feet, the pajamas he was wearing gone, now replaced with his work pants. He furrows his brow and walks through the wheat stalks, the tips tickling his neck he reaches up to scratch his skin and finds his face clean shaven. 

Noticing a park bench in the shade under the tree, he sits down and closes his eyes, a feeling of un-imaginable happiness and peace welling up from inside him. He begins to weep softly. "I'll leave you here, farewell, Nathan" the woman's voice whispers and he feels the wind blow amongst his cheek harder than before. He opens his eyes again and pinches himself and feels pain, a red mark forming shortly after. 'It's a dream...it's a dream...' he repeats to himself over until his alarm goes off.

Awakening with his heart pounding and gasping for air, Nathan slams his hand on the alarm clock, silencing it. He checks his foot and finds no signs of the needle going in then checks the bedside table, his revolver sitting in the early ray of sunlight. A fleeting moment of that happiness comes over him then fades away like the final tendrils of a dream. He stands up and heads into the shower.

Weeks pass with little differance to them, except for the emptiness. As Nathan sleeps, a black hole opens up within him, screaming for a reason to find that happiness obtained in a dream from the past. His appearance has changed significantly. His eyes sunken into his face and his build smaller from lack of sustenance. His dreams plagued by nightmares and questions. 

Walking home on a dark, cloudy night, he stops in front of the painting still on sale at the museum. A sense of longing pulls from his heart and depression sinks in. He cries as a dream comes back to him. The kissing wind, the warm sun and Her voice. The angel that haunts his thoughts 'Who was she' is all he can think some days.

As he turns a corner, he bumps into a man, knocking him to the floor. "Oh shit, i'm so so..." Nathan starts to say as he reaches out but is unable to finish as he feels something go through his vains and to his chest. The man smiles and puts the needle into his pocket and catches Nathan before he can fall. "Let me carry you home, mate, you've had a bit too much to drink, yeh" is the last thing Nathan hears before he is completely enveloped by sunlight and wind. He smiles and closes his eyes, feeling home.

He opens his eyes, his superior frowning at him. Nathan's clothes a mess and his face face completely sunken in. A year has passed since the last time he's felt happy and it's taken a toll on his spirit. "Nathan, you're completely unfit for work. I'm sorry, but we have to let you go". Nathan lowers his head then stands up and walks out of the building. 'Everything is not as it should. Is this the dream and my field a reality? How do i return there...Nothing is right...all is wrong.' He disappears three days after being fired.

A few months later, Nathan recovers his senses in a mental ward. Outside his door he can see two doctor's speaking to each other. His attention is tuned in by the woman's voice. "He seems to be experiancing the symptoms as the users of the drug labeled as 'Wonderland'. His break from reality is so intense though...it's like nothing i've ever seen before. He hardly eats or sleeps, just stares at a picture of a painting on his wall, as if he...longs to be there". The man speaks up now "Yes, but why was he brought in here"? The woman looks over at him, Nathan's eyes focusing in on her's. 'Her eyes...brown and her hair brown, flowing like a waterfall...no..it's waving...just like the wheat in the wind' She speaks again "He was found in the street with a broken syringe and a glow stick whispering 'This is the answer, this is the key, this will make it all better'. and he's lucky too. the chemicals would have surely killed him". The man checks his watch "Well, I need to check on the patient in room 6, page me if anything happens.", The woman nods and the man turns to leave. 

The woman steps into the room "Hello again, Nathan. I see you've made your way back to me". Nathan reaches towards her "This isn't real...this...is not reality...the field...my home...my...peace..." his eyes breaking away and staring at the picture again. She clicks her teeth and shakes her head. "You poor thing, I have here...something for you...but only if you can keep it a secret". Nathan looks at her again and nods. "Yes...please...anything...just..send me back to reality". She reaches into her lab coat and pulls out that familiar green liquid in a small bottle and a syringe. Nathan's eyes widen "Yes...please...I beg you..." and he reaches out his arm. She smiles "Well then, Nathan, I think we are going to be great friends regarding the chemistry of the brain and the effect this drug has on it. This...is the future" and with that she fills up the syringe and sticks into Nathan's arm. His eyes widen and he closes them, falling into the field, this time, with the woman next to him. "Thank you" he whispers as he drifts off, lost within his spirit.


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