The Night I Died

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

A video footage showed a reporter, the brutal death of her friend until she faced the same on the following day.......

Never before I had beheld anything like this! Nor I expect to see this happen again. In fact, how could anyone, being a warm-blooded human being, find the possible guts to do something like this?

I tried to recall the last night, even though my heart don't want to. I was working on my computer, emailing some of the latest reports on the Murder cases. I was very exhausted from the whole day's work. I haden't taken my pills yesterday morning. That makes me to understand the reason fo the painful headache, I was facing at the office. I went to the kitchen and helped myself to take a glass of water, and then I came back to my usual chair. It was the middle of the night- probably the best time to do work peacefully. Outside it was raining heavily. My neighbour Mrs.Rossie's cat was constantly making noises that was making me irritated.

My boss had been putting sufficient pressure for the last few weeks to write an article on the death of Richard Bergman- a Government personnel, who died a brutal death on April 7,at midnight, reason still unknown. There were no clues nor did the National Police found anything. The readers have lost their patience.I was thinking what to write about it.Just then a colored flashed on my screen, saying ''RECEIVED AN EMAIL- UNKNOWN SENDER''

Someone sent me an email? O course, I'm a reporter of a leading daily, so it practical that anyone can send me an email. But with no name? and that too at 1:00 am? Nw, that is something to think of. I opened it. It didn't contained any message, but some rough video footage. Truly, I wasn't too excited and eager to pay attention to that, but I went against my choice.

Oh my Gosh! What the hell is this? My eyes trembled.I pushed myself up from the chair. Someone is holding a video camera, and it shows going up some wooden staircases. The shoes were making a hard noise on every steps.It was dark everywhere, only the faint rays of a dim light was coming across the hallway. The camera stopped at front of a closed door. I was curious of what I was seeing then. I felt I was sweating back from my head.

The door opened silently. He has covered his hands with gloves. There was a bed inside and someone, a man , was laying on it sidewise. The camera was closing towards his face. Wait a minute! Isn't that Jones? Jones Peterson- my co-partner?

I pressed my hands over my mouth.Perhaps because of my ready realisation of whats going to happen right next. Jones and I worked together since last 3 years. A strange sound was coming from backwards. It was pinching , but I can feel it. Og my God, Jones! What is he going to do now?

I became nervous. Myface grew pale from nervousness.I started to breathe heavily. But my eyes were stuck on the screen. I should call someone,Or should I not? I thought it would be best to call Jones only and without the waste of any second, I picked the phone and dialed the number. He's always on my list of speed dials.The phone was ringing. I could see it. But why wasn't he waking up? I yelled myself,'' Come on Jones...get up!Pick the goddamn phone!''

All of a suuden he spranged up from his bed, as if someone is piercing his heart. It was almost like a deadman rising from beneath the ground.There was a terible noise. He was saying something I cannot overhear. It was definately not his own voice, that was all I could make out at that moment.

There were waves of shockness going through me.The terrible noise was getting louder and shriller. I coverd my ears, harder. I dont want to listen it anymore. And then within a span of time, it all ended.Gone.Vanished.Over.

I walked to my chair and looked at the screen of the computer. It again went back to my unfinished report. I knew I couldn't, even if I try, finish my writing. Because inside me I was feeling vacant, as if everything gone out of me.


Two days passed after that. Just today I attended the funeral of my dear friend Jones. I wasn't feeling well. Rather I was feeling guilty. If I hadn't lacked the courage to call someone or even send the cops to his home, Jones would't have died a premature death. I was too tired and falling down. I skipped my supper and straightly went to bed.

I remember the time. It was 2:30 am by the clock. The phone beside me rang. But I didn't get that. I wasn't intending to get that. I need a good sleep.And I was sleeping. Then sudden;y, I spranged up from yhe bed.I was making a terrible noise, but that wasn't my own voice. I saw a tall dark figure standing in front of me. He was dressed as a priest and was holding a camera in his left hand.

I fell down from the bed. My arm hurted. Some strong force made me crawl on the ground. I cannot stand.I want to stand. My eyes were burning inside. My face became wide open. My nails pierced the floor. The strong force made me cut my hand with a sharp knife. Blood was oozing out of me.The man standing near me was murmuring something. I tried to say some, but I was too weak. I started to write something with my own fresh blood, on the walls, '' LET THE ENEMY TAKE MY SOUL ''. And then it stopped.


That night ended tremendously. No one came to save me. Neither did I survived!!



Submitted: April 12, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Rinki. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Lucy Lucy

Well before I go to the faults, I would like to ask something. I hope you reply to my comment. If you are new to this site, then just go to the comments tab or click on the "New Messages" orange box on your page, it will lead you to the comments tab. There you can see my comment row with a reply link, there you can reply to my comment. Now, what I want to ask is - Why the man killed Jones and this fellow?

I mean was there a motive behind it? Let the enemy take my soul means ??? I am a bit confused.

But I am amazed by your capacity of creating a horror, it was utter horror till the end. That is appreciated. Really, now you just need to make some small changes considering the grammar and typo spelling errors.

One thing I liked is you have proper line breaks and paragraph breaks, which many new authors lack to give. Your dialogue delivery(though it was minimal here) is good enough.

Now consider these below points please :
> Stay in one tense, here you have mixed up past and present tense. I had been doing this mistake a lot, but now I have rectified it almost.

> There are typos like myface - it should be my face. I am not sure if you have purposefully omitted the "f" in "Of Course", "Now/New" instead of "Nw"

> The sentences somewhere need to be restructured like "It possible" should be "it was possible". Read through it again, you can find some more.

> Every sentence should start with a capital letter, however short the sentence is.

My suggestion is to re-read your story and edit it again. I hope you take it as constructive criticism.

Thu, April 12th, 2012 5:17pm


Hey thank you Lucy for reading my story. And I really appreciate that you've pointed out my faults. Yes, I joined yesterday into this site and posted this writing. I must have omitted some of the words and thank you for drawing attention to that.I didn't purposefully omitted them.
I really have a problem of mixing up all types of tenses when I write some articles or stories or anything. I will try to improve my writing and concentrate on a single tense from now on.
I created this story mainly with a hint of exorcism. And if I had developed the motive behind the killings, I'm telling you it wouldn't had been a ''short-story''. But as for now, there was no real motive behind them.
''Let the enemy take my soul'' is an extraction from The Arabic Bible. Hope you read this, and keep telling me on the next stories whether you like it or not. Have a great time.

Thu, April 12th, 2012 7:29pm

Allyson Wolfteen

Wow! A excellent story, horror through and through! That's what I like t read! :D

Please focus on spelling though, and you keep skipping from present to past and back aigan.

Good job!

Thu, April 12th, 2012 6:55pm


Hey thank you, Allyson for reading my story. And I really appreciate that you've pointed out my mistakes. I will try to improve my writing from now.

Thu, April 12th, 2012 7:18pm

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