Satan's Hand

Reads: 580  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 5

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

The first poem I ever wrote. I would love some feedback on it.

He called me over, so cool and calm

Without thinking I grabbed his palm

He flew with me beyond the stars

Little did I know he’d want me in bars


Next time we meet he was dry and dull

Yet again I let Satan, take hold of my soul

This time we flew hardly as far

I had barely time to see a star


I needed to find him wherever I was

Even if, for only a buzz

He made me forget what I had know

All I had now was what he had shown


Just when he thought he would have me forever

My angel came and his hand she did sever

She showed me how to live without his madness

No longer would I have a world full of sadness


Three years later she took this name

Now we both live without my shame

Satan’s hand no longer will no longer beckon

Because of my savior sent here from heaven

Submitted: January 30, 2013

© Copyright 2023 Ririe. All rights reserved.

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If you like this piece please read my brand new Edgar Allan Poe Inspired short story, "A View of the Ocean"

Wed, January 30th, 2013 6:30am


Fantastic job! I loved the light and darkness comparisons to finding true love (well, at least that's how I interpret it). Great wording and great rhymes too! :)

Wed, January 30th, 2013 2:28pm


Thank you, and yes it was meant to be interpreted that way.

Wed, January 30th, 2013 10:20am

Matthew D. Hay (Tangible Word)

I loved this :D Incredible job, the flow was spot on and an intriguing, metaphorical message, brilliant (:

Thu, January 31st, 2013 6:39pm


Thank you for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!

Thu, January 31st, 2013 11:02am


interestingly lettered. interesting lines. good job.

Fri, February 1st, 2013 8:20am


Thanks, glad you liked it.

Fri, February 1st, 2013 12:35am


Inspired and a good read. I love happy endings.

Sat, February 9th, 2013 3:56pm

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