It's a Meme Kinda Mornin'

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Ever have one of those days when you can pretty much sum up how you feel in Internet Memes?

 

It's a Meme Kinda MorningEdit post | Delete post

 
by Riss Ryker on November 15, 2012
 
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\"\"By Riss Ryker

 

Ever have one of those days where you just IRRITATED? Where the slightest thing that goes wrong you just want to scream in frustration? Or just say, "Oh, God, why me...". Yeah, I'm having one of those days...

This morning, I carefully poured my coffee, knowing what kind of day it was, and carefully monitered my every move. But then my bathrobe caught on my chair, causing me to stop suddenly, which in turn made me spill my coffee anyway...Yup..it's one of THOSE days.

\"\"I looked at my coffee all over the floor, feeling the rage building up ready to explode...I knew that I should just go back to bed. After all, what could happen in bed? If anything, the rest of the house would be safe from my black cloud. Nothing would get broken or spilled. My dogs could come out from underneath the coffee table where they felt safe... 

As I walked into my room, I kept smelling something horrid.. Was it my breath? No, I had just brushed my teeth, couldn't be that..And then I saw it as I glanced over at my doorway. A pile of dog poo. Not just any old pile, but a flat one, missing some in the middle. 

 \"\"The scream started in my belly and exploded out past my lips in a long, drawn out "NOOOOOOOoooo!!!!" as I looked down at my new slippers.Could this really be happening to me? For real? 

Ok, think. Look around, sit softly on the edge of the bed, and take off your soiled slippers, taking care not put your finger in poo. Lay back, arms out, head not hitting the wall, and close your eyes. Nothing will hurt you here, nothing will break. 

The phone rings. I open my eyes and panic unsues. The phone is two rooms away. The house, a guantlet...\"\".

Two rings later, I cautiously peek out of my bedroom doorway, surveying the distnce between my room and the phone...15 steps at most...I can do this..Looking left and right, up and down, I quickly take my first 3 steps, my feet slipping precariously on the dog slobbered floor by their water dish. I stayed upright, first challenge met and conquered. I laugh in triumph, shaking my fist at the offending puddle, and hurry on...3 rings now. As I hurriedly make to the dining room, I again take in everything around me. I see no danger, and move on. So far, so good. I'm feeling a little cocky now, and go a little faster as the phone sounds out it's 4th ring, and just as I'm about to pick it up, I feel something hard and painful on my right foot, and stumble. It's my grandson matchbox car on the floor. Not able to stop the momentum of full body pressure on the car, pain shoots up through my foot, causing me to lose my balance. No, please...Not now...I'm almost there!  Too late. I fall. Phone meer inches within my grasp. 

\"\"

I lay there on my side, foot throbbing in pain, the phone silent and dead beside me..defeated by the day. My Pomeranian, ever curious, comes to my side and whines in sympathy. And then does what all dog owners hate the most. The horrid moment when a thin, flat tongue slips between your lips, and into your mouth.......

\"\"

 


Submitted: November 16, 2012

© Copyright 2021 Riss Ryker. All rights reserved.

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