Dramatized, sugar coated, innocent fakes.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
a story of realizing when to let go.

Submitted: January 25, 2009

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Submitted: January 25, 2009

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Sugar Coated

 

Charming. Annoying. Friendly. Judgmental. Sweet. Sour. This boy was like the variety pack of juice boxes. His emotions ran hot and cold; his mood swings were a daily occurrence. Still, for some odd reason, he remained excruciatingly irresistible. It had been so long since the last time he hadn’t felt like a stranger to me. I had spent the summer hundreds of miles away, visiting relatives in Pennsylvania. Eighth grade had started, and much to my dismay, I had been separated from my seventh grade classmates. I was stolen for the “gifted class”- whisked away to study with the geniuses – and I had no idea that none of my other friends would get in. My classmates were different, most of them agonizingly unfamiliar.

 

 Naturally, he and all my other friends were stuck together again. Of course, I could have seen that coming; it’s just my luck. Though we were only two months into the school year, I felt like I had crossed him in the halls a thousand times already, feeling this strange new difference. The countless close conversations we used to have as we walked to class together were replaced by – at the closest – merely bumping each other’s shoulders as we made our way through the bustling corridors. We were strangers now, standing so close as I entered the cheerfully decorated basement. The glamorous birthday girl disappeared into a maze of streamers and balloons, leaving me frozen with shock as he looked right into my eyes. There was an odd tension in the air as my mind was flooded with memories. He brought me back to reality, speaking the words that were dancing on the tip of my tongue.

 

“Man, I haven’t talked to you in a long time,” he chuckled, his dark hair falling slightly over his deep brown eyes. It felt like my air supply was cut off. I couldn’t even breathe as my heart skipped two beats. All of those other conversations had seemed so comfortable, so effortless. This new tension would be difficult to adjust to.

 

“Yeah, it’s been awhile,” my voice was barely audible as I struggled to keep my lungs working.  What a dumb thing to say! I’d been watching too many chick flicks, that was one thing I was sure of. This wasn’t some fairytale romance movie, this was reality. His eyes brightened at the sound of my voice. Or was I imagining that? No, they definitely had brightened.

 

“This might sound sort of weird and crazy...” He started flashing his perfect grin as he shook his hair. I noticed the pink flare up in his olive toned face. Was he blushing? “I almost sort of...missed you.”

 

Me? He really missed me? This was coming from the boy who, every day, used to tell me I was awkward and annoying. It felt like my feet had levitated five inches from the ground.

 

“Me too!” I let a smile escape my lips. I felt my face turn red hot, instantly regretting my sudden outburst of emotion. I tried to fix it. “I mean...I almost sort of missed you too.”

 

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow, questioning my “casual” attitude. I was terrible at faking things. He laughed softly, out of doubt I guessed. I must have seemed like an idiot.

 

“Yeah, in a weird, crazy sort of way,” I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion.

 

“I thought I remembered you having a blushing problem,” he smiled, only making me realize I was blushing and therefore blushing even more. This really was the true jerk that I loved.

 

“I thought I remembered you having an ego problem,” I shot back sharply. One thing that hadn’t changed: my boldness.

 

“An ego problem, you say?” he was curious of my accusation. I held my ground; the flying sensation had passed.

 

“Yes, you definitely have an ego problem,” I smiled as he crossed his arms in defeat.

 

Just then, something hit me, like a bucket of cold water being dumped on my head. I realized that my perfect memories of him, the ones that had held me together for so long, were all an exaggeration. They were dramatized, sugar coated, innocent fakes. He was truly a jerk. Why didn’t I see that before? Had his dazzling smile and sparkling eyes stopped me from seeing who he really was? I guess back then, I had just needed something, someone, to hold onto, and he was just...there. I had changed since then. I didn’t need anyone to hold onto. I could be myself and not let anyone hold me back. The stronger I got the easier it was to let go. Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself. Sometimes letting go is the only way to move on.


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