This Story Is My Story

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is My Sory The One Time In my life When i was going through so much pain. But Through that pain i realised that i will never be like them.

Submitted: August 04, 2012

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 04, 2012



My Story

By; Marissa Humbert

Dear Anybody,

Three Years ago my life was a living hell, along with my 3 other brothers. I was scared. Scared of what would happen the next day. I was always worrying about “Her” and my brothers…and other things that normal teenagers didn’t worry about. I worried about the bills, and if they were going to get paid or not…Worrying if she was going to come home the next day. I was to clean the house. I didn’t understand why she would get mad at me. Why she yelled at me as soon as we got home. I did everything I could to try and please Her. I’ve always taken care of my little brother… but then I started to take care of everyone including her. I was scared. Always waiting for her to strike again .I’d Make the boys dinner, and by the time they finished eating and I finished doing  dishes it was time for me to go to bed for school. So sometimes I wouldn’t eat tell I got to school around lunch time. But hey this life was normal to me…I was used to being emotionally broken down. She made me Scared; she knows I’m in pain, because she was the one to inflict it.

I Had a Bad Day at school because I got a C on my report card, I felt like a failure, but to make it two times worse she yelled and hit me that night. My Brother just stood there laughing. Trey the one I loved like my own... The one who I realized he would never be mine. But my other brothers just stood there I didn’t  blame them though I would never want them to feel her rath. While she screamed in my face, I just stared at her in a daze... tears falling… The tears weren’t because I was hurting…it was because I felt sorry for her and I was so raged to a point I finally  said” I hate you” I finally Snapped, I was tired of putting up with her crap ,but Just for a moment I thought I saw light through her dull eyes.. The red glassed eyes. The soulless eyes that I thought ad clicked back to reality ..from the druggy haze, but as soon as I thought this “she just got up an slammed the door. I stared shocked. I couldn’t believe she didn’t scream at me and hurt me more. Then after everything settled down I got up turned out my light and lad in bed crying... Don’t get me wrong I am to this day terrified of my mother. The one who gave birth to me... The one I though should love me.

Right then I remember something at church that the preacher said  “God Is a Miracle, He  is always watching over his children, pray to him because he will answer all your prayers” I never prayed before to him like this I then Asked “Lord Why Please help me I don’t know how much pain I can take. I would only come to you at a time I need you the most. I need you, my true father... the one who has never ever lifted me, the one who was there for me at my worst, just like I know you are here now. Please give me the strength to face my fears, because lord I don’t want to live anymore like this. Please help me I know you can because Lord you are my last hope”

I stayed in bed thinking all night long, that I knew I needed help but I didn’t know who to go to. I couldn’t tell anyone in the family b/c when I did I begged them not to tell her b/c I would get in trouble. I knew it would always get back to her. Somehow, someway She Always said “why do you always betray me? I am your mother.” Then I think “Why do you betray me mom? What did I ever do to you? All I have done is told the truth” I’ve never thought that she loved me, I still don’t.

My friends were the only ones who I could confined in about what happened at home. And about how my mom was. I knew they wouldn’t tell anybody. They were always there for me, and I knew they couldn’t tell my mom. I had support… they told me it was going to be alright...They helped me day by day encouraged me to be better than both of my parents.

 One Day I made myself promise that I wouldn’t NEVER EVER be like them… I would go to college make something of myself…. I would never ever abandon my kids… I would always be there for my family… I now look back on their mistakes and see how I can reflect on them.

If I could tell my mom one thing is that she would never be able to gain my full and complete trust back. And that  I’ve forgiven my mother for everything she put me and my brothers through, But does she not know after everything that I love her. Does she not know that I would do anything for her? Does she not know that I forgive her? I ask these questions every day.

But now that I’ve been with my grandma I can finally be a normal teenager. I can hang out with my best friends, have a boyfriend every once in a while, live the best way and enjoying my life to the fullest. I’m happy because of my Grandmother who has done, gave me all the emotional love ever I could ever contain… she is one of the reasons why I want to live. She is the reason I know I am loved. But she has taught me that it’s okay to smile, because now I see how much of a beautiful girl I really am.  

Through my life I have many stories, mostly bad and a lot of amazing ones to, but this story will remain in my heart forever the one that says “God put me on this earth for a reason. God wanted me to send and teach everyone a message. Never give up hope, because he will always come through.

© Copyright 2018 Rissa1228. All rights reserved.

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