Woody Woodpecker started pecking on my tree.
I cussed him out and he started attacking me.
He flew down my pants and started pecking my wang.
You can't begin to imagine how much that stang.
Now when I go to the bathroom, pee comes out of twenty holes.
The only thing worse than this was when I voted for Bob Dole.
I shot that damn bird with my rifle and I had him for dinner.
He made swiss cheese out of my pecker but I came out the winner.
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