Insecurity* Extended Version

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Sometimes insecurity gets the best of us. Sometimes it's warranted, while sometimes it's just our minds over-working.

Never get too comfortable

For that’s when things will change.

Sunshine and smiles today

While rain and heartache linger nearby.

 

Your guard slowly begins to fall

As a fellow heart is welcomed.

It marks the start of vulnerability,

And the end of protected feelings.

 

Once you allow yourself to love,

You realize you’re scared to death.

Now you have something to lose,

And a heart never breaks even.

 

You constantly wonder

If he’s in just as deep,

Is this just temporary,

Or really meant to be?

 

You bite your lip recalling

All the playfulness and smiles.

Then you remember that lately

Those things are now nonexistent.

 

Things have definitely changed,

You two don’t cuddle anymore.

Constant kisses and long conversations

Are replaced by channel surfing silence.

 

Things are so boring now,

But maybe it’s just a rut.

Maybe this is normal

Or the beginning of the end.

 

If only he would talk

About any form of feelings,

Or give thought to his answers

Instead of the usual two word replies.

 

Starting to walk from the kitchen

You’re stopped in your tracks.

He’s laughing out loud

With that smile you still love.

 

You listen to his laughter,

Elicited not by you.

Your mind races even faster

And insecurity smacks you harder.

 

Worst case scenario thoughts

Seem to make sense by the minute.

Every piece of dignity inside

Just flew out the nearest window.

 

Now not only are you hurt,

But jealousy floods your veins.

Your thoughts were already bad enough

Now you’re blessed with this.

 

Flustered and overtaken,

By hurtful thoughts and envy,

You sit down beside him

Biting your lip and smiling.

 

He can solve all your problems

In as little as ten minutes.

That requires depth though,

And you’re not sure he’s still committed.

 

He hasn’t the slightest clue

That what you need is fairly simple.

Just to hear him say I love you

Would take half the problem away.

 

Would he leave it at that

Or encompass your prince charming

Saying not only what you need,

But everything you hope he feels?

 

You envision him gazing into your eyes

As he gently takes your hand,

Saying it’s the two of you always

And finishing with forever and a kiss.


Submitted: March 31, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Ronda McKenzie. All rights reserved.

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