Perve on a Bicycle - A Cautionary Tale

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Janet is traumatised by an exhibitionist... but the perverts apprehension leads to a comic conclusion.

Submitted: May 12, 2012

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Submitted: May 12, 2012




This happened four decades ago

When Elvis used to sing

Parkey was a chat-show host

And Arthur was still king

Our characters lived in East Bedford

(Their names are Janet and John)

Just opposite the train station

With their three year-old son

On this particular Saturday

The lunchtime sun was bright

The atmosphere was sticky

The breeze was warm and slight

Janet went to call mum and dad

But the station phone was dead

So she walked down to the public baths

To use that one instead

It was twenty minutes later

As John watched World of Sport

Janet collapsed inside the door

Utterly distraught

The time it took to calm her down

Seemed to take so long

But once the sobbing had faded

John found out what was wrong

When Janet had made her phone call

A pesky, pervie lout

Pressed his ugly face against the glass

With his penis hanging out

Janet gave John a description

And when she’d finished her tale

John searched for a spotty-faced cyclist

An eighteen year old male

He sprinted down to the phone box

Hoping he was still in time

To catch him in flagrante

And nail him for his crime

And yes… the fool was hovering

Circling the booth

With his spotty face and cycle

John needed no more proof!

Then the pervo made his cool escape

At a cocky, moderate pace

John knew the bloke was unaware

Someone was on his case

To the station he was heading

John was almost catching him

As the two went past the booking hall

John was two yards off his rim

Then he flung himself at Spotty Face

Knocking him off his seat

The perve landed on his acne head

His bike slid down the street

Anger had given John extra strength

He dragged Perve from the floor

Frog-marched him only twenty yards

To his very own side-door

He banged on the black, painted wood

Pervo began to whine

When Janet at last released the catch

John said… “I've caught the swine?”

“No!” said Janet with puffy eyes

“That’s not the man at all

In fact to be totally honest

He was nowhere near as tall!”

With horror oozing from every pore

John felt a proper clown

He apologised profusely

Dusting his victim down

The guy was in a state of shock

He said “Look, it’s okay.”

Then rescued his damaged bicycle

And pedalled on his way

Ronnie Steele

Copyright © veRSecity May 2012

© Copyright 2017 Ronnie Steele. All rights reserved.