Round Like a Shot

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
It is a humorous poem about the difficulty of getting police help when you need it... and how that difficulty was overcome.

Submitted: May 06, 2012

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Submitted: May 06, 2012





Very late last Monday evening
As I climbed into bed
I distinctly heard a clatter
Coming from my garden shed

And through my bedroom window
I saw two burly guys
With crowbars in their thieving hands
Pound note signs in their eyes

On the grass lay my motor mower
My tools boxed up in crates
The get-away van purred in the lane
Occupied by their mates

Caught red-handed was my only thought
I can’t wait to hear their cries
When the coppers swoop in numbers
They’ll get one huge surprise

I told myself… stay very calm
Don’t get in a tizzy
But when I called the cops they said
“Sorry… we’re too busy”

So preventing this crime was down to me
I’ll scupper their wicked plans
And bring the course of justice
Into my own fair hands

Then just one minute later on
I phoned the copper’s line
“You’ve now no need to visit me
I’ve sorted out the crime

“I took my father’s gun”, I said
“And in the garden bottom
I lined them up outside my shed
Aimed the piece and shot ‘em”

In minutes the street was crawling
With police and bright flood lights
A helicopter roared above
The fuzz stared down their sights

The police arrested the burglars
But the officers were not pleased
I think it finally dawned on them
They’d been well and truly teased

“I thought you said you shot them.”
Said a policeman with a glare
“I thought you were too busy” I said
No Officers to spare.”

Ronnie Steele
Copyright © May 2012

*Based on a newspaper story by Tony Gladstone (permission to use it sought but not obtained).
**The events in this narrative are entirely fictitious and if characters or institutions resemble real-life people, groups of people, or events… then this is entirely coincidental. Honest! (Teehee)


© Copyright 2017 Ronnie Steele. All rights reserved.

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