HER. Letters of a shared love. Part 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Two old friend talk about a shared ex-lover.

Submitted: June 16, 2014

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Submitted: June 16, 2014

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* from times to times the words "she" or "her" are written with capital letter, meaning they reffer to She, the main female characther of this story, not to another female characther Billy and James are discussing. *

 

Dear Billy,

 

I may sound as a sadistic bastard, but I can say that your letter gives me a lot of pleasure: since I have always known you as a sentimental one, I knew you would reach out to me to tell me all about your first love. You know there is nothing in this world that gives me more pleasure than being right. What can I say? I am definitely a narcissist, guilty as charged!

But leaving all this aside, I can tell you that I am happy you opened up to me, I can only imagine how hard must have been for you to remember that awful period(although we cannot just name it awful, it would be unfair for her sweet lips and her meaningful words, wouldn’t it be?) I didn’t realize it completely back then, but if 29 years old me would have a chance to give an advice to 15 years old you, would be: Don’t you fucking ever fall in love with a smarter woman than you!!! Because, let’s face it, she was smarter than everyone, fuck, she was even smarter than me, and one of the things I am most proud about is my hard-working brain! You see, my dear Billy, a clever woman is always a cunning one; at that age we, boys, use our brain to get into their paints; they, instead, use their intelligence to break our hearts! I wonder which one is worse, but I think we both know.

I never really had a relationship with her; we did date a couple of times, but it was always during the periods I was broken up with Sarah. I think that our destinies are somehow connected – even though Sarah still hates her and who can blame her for that, after all, every time I would gotten into a fight with my beloved girlfriend, I would just run to her( and I would find her so welcoming!). You might want to believe that she was stupid, young, heartless, even slutty, but the truth is she was just curious and I don’t think curiosity can be something to hold against anyone in this whole world. Sarah doesn’t realize it or maybe she is trying to deny it, but all our lives – Sarah’s, hers and mine – collided in that period and in the end everything came down to a choice I made, without even giving it too much thought. Therefore, my friend, since She was never my girlfriend and since the coincidences of that small period are too high to be ignored, I will present you the story of how Sarah, my beloved girlfriend for 12 years now (because, no offence, but marriage is for fools like you, why should you tie the knot when you can just be happy without doing it?) and I met and fell in love!

What I am about to tell you happened in the fall of 2002, I guess a year after the story you just told, but back then I had no idea that she used to be your girlfriend and, even if I did, I wouldn’t have given a fuck, I was a big bastard back then, as you can remember! During a period of less than 24 hour I kissed two girls – more than I did in 16 years! – so, as a man of honor I had to make a choice between two wonderful, yet very different girls. On Friday night we had a party, I really don’t remember where it was and what was the occasion, but what I can say is that there was the first time I laid my eyes on Sarah and by the end of the night we were both too wasted not to hook up (as you can see, there isn’t anything that romantic about my first meeting with my better half, so I will spare the details.)

When I got home my head hurt like hell, because as a 16 years old boy, I wasn’t really that much into drinking. Not only I was having a terrible hangover, but I was also supposed to wake up in less than four hours because I was having a handball game and it was quite freaking far away. Now, as you can imagine, I already knew Her, she was in the girls handball team, but that day the girls were also having a game, also freaking far away, so our couches hired a bus for us and we were supposed to spend the night away. I knew her, but we never really talked, so during the bus trip something happened and I spent all those hours talking with her; the hours felt like minutes and I forgot about my headache; fuck, I even forgot about Sarah and her sweet kisses, so I can completely relate to you when you say you’ve spent hours daily talking to her, not even recalling what were the conversations about, yet time was flying away and you just wished you’d had a couple more minutes. Or hours. This girl – she was a modern Scheherazade, I could say – enchanting you with her words, words that were addictive. Even latter, when, as you know, I chose Sarah, I would still look her up in order to just talk about…freaking nothing, mostly. Now I wonder – my friend – how could you have been so stupid to fall for a girl who was a Master of the Words?

I know the answer. After the games were over and we got back to the cheap motel where we’re supposed to spent the night, I was all over her, waiting impatiently for her to take a shower and then to spend the whole night talking. I am wondering now if her boyfriend/husband/whatever she has now would rather sleep with her or just spend hours in bed, listening to magic coming out of her mouth? What I can tell you is that we spent the whole night talking and making out – and, don’t get angry at me for telling you this, but her kisses were also magic!

I woke up the second day feeling crazy about her; so crazy that I didn’t think about Sarah until next day, when I saw her at school and I read in her eyes that she wanted something from me. She wanted me to give her a sign, an answer, but even though I knew I would choose Her, I still postponed talking to Sarah, because I really didn’t want to break her heart. It turned out I did good not to tell Sarah I wasn’t going to choose her, since after a couple of days of not talking, the spell She cast over me was over, so I started wanting Sarah again(yes, making decisions had always been a really hard task for me!).  Therefore I present to you the things I considered when I chose between Sarah and Her. First of all, She wasn’t going to the same high school as us, so I was going to see her only in weekends and, at that age, when the hormones were having a party in my whole body, I really needed a girlfriend close to me( as Sarah was.) Moreover, I was too proud to admit it back then, but a rather average silly girl like Sarah was more suitable for me, a clever one like Her always turns out to be a pain in the ass( as you are well aware of.) Lastly, I also considered the fact that Sarah was a really beautiful girl, while She was a weird one: not beautiful, not ugly, maybe just pretty when you saw her and magical when she would talk to you. Man, that girl made you feel like you have finally found someone who thinks just like you, didn’t she?

As you can see now, old friend, I didn’t know her as much as you did, what I did know instead was that feeling of complete when she was around, that feeling that there was finally someone else to share the heaviness of this world with. She liked deep philosophical talks: how can you not realize that a 15 years old girl who likes to talk about the moon, the stars, the depth and the immortality of the human soul is one of a kind, but she is also somehow so fucked up that eventually you will become more fucked up then she is? And then she will move on, telling her beautiful stories to another moron, who is willing to listen, leaving you completely heart broken. From times to times I wonder how long she would have been with me (if I chose her) before she would get bored, as she did with you, so many times. I can’t help but to feel sorry for you, dear Billy, because if after she left you and immediately hooked up with some other guy, you still got back with her, that means you were so deep under her spell; no man deserves that. Nevertheless, I look forward to a new entertaining letter, please indulge a bored old friend.

 

Yours truly,

James S.


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