The Ever-growing Tale of the Raven

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
One of a selection of short stories about a Raven. It's very quirky.

Submitted: February 20, 2015

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Submitted: February 20, 2015

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Once, there lived a beloved raven. He had big black eyelashes and a yellow coloured beak. Many people thought he was mean but he was in fact just bizarre- so bizarre that he had detached himself from the village people. By the village people I mean a dusty coloured mole and a rather unwelcoming hare. Despite this, Raven never let this defeat his ego. He had an enviable imagination which allowed him to create magical and sometimes satanic images within his mind. He so longed to be a part of one of these fantasies and so decided to go on a hunt for the goat trenches, where psychic (and sometimes psychotic) goats transport lowly village people to faraway lands for a short time in which unimaginable events can occur. “Ay!” Said the raven in a voice of sensual gravel! “I shall go forth towards the goat trenches!”

 

So Raven began his quest, apprehensive about what the psychic goats would have planned for him, but was also filled with excitement and gladly-ness that he was fortunate enough to soon experience such fantastical fantasies.

“I wonder if the brave, lord fox Byron will be there?” Raven inquisitively pondered to himself.

He flew through the rain and the storms that soaked him to his very bones, the hail and snow that caused ice to form on his eyebrows, and heavy droughts which he had to endure with a full coat of feathers. All was well until, suddenly, he stopped in front of a sign labelled, 'The Mucky Groin'. The sign, old and mysterious and filled with a strangely enlightening scent, was blocking his pathway.

“Ay?” squawked Raven. He sighed a heavy sigh of annoyance.

“What can I do now?!” he asked himself.

“Ah! I know! I can use my eyelashes!”

Without another thought, Raven fluttered his long luscious lashes towards his obstacle and within seconds the sign disappeared before you could say ‘ravenous!’ Luckily, his eyelashes had mystical powers which conquered anything sinister.

Tentatively, Raven meandered past the sign, full of confusion and bewilderment, and hesitantly continued his long and fulfilling journey towards the goat trenches.

 

As night began to draw in, Raven was stopped in his tracks once more.  There was a peculiar mollusc sat before him.

“I am saint snail Smicheal Simmons!” gurgled the slimy creature.

Raven looked blankly at him and said,

“Oh? What has that to do with me?”

The snail smirked and hurled a strange looking pipe towards him.

“This is the key to the next obstacle which befalls you.”

Raven gazed at the pipe perplexedly and sneered, rather rudely,

“Erm well thanks I guess. Now, if you don't mind, I am on my way toward the trenches of the wise goats”.

As he uttered these words he began to flutter his wing in preparation to take off again. But at that moment, a sudden a brilliant luminance from the dark sky descended upon them, and within a moment, an enormous door appeared before them labelled 'Pot Factory.' Raven was frightened by this unexpected event but he was a brave bird and this was unlikely to phase him for long. Curiosity, indeed, prevailed. He had heard about such factories from the village people and never quite believed they were real.

 

Hesitantly he curved his head through the door and discovered a room full of wonder. The rumours were true! Not only did they make pots, but also frying pans and on occasion the odd casserole dish! Raven was astounded by the range of pots on display! It was an epic find. He was particularly intrigued by the casserole dishes.

“This will be fantastic for that worm pie!” He exclaimed with widening eyes.

He was about to pick up one of the neatly crafted works of art when, all of a sudden, his feathers set on fire!

“What the!?!?!” Raven spluttered.

Saint snail Smicheal Simmons cackled from behind him and shouted “I told you you'd need that pipe!” With that, he slimed away mysteriously.

“But what do I do with this ridiculous contraption?!” Raven barked back.

He began to blow into it but somehow this made his head swell up to unexplainable heights.

“Arghhhhh my head!!!!” Shrieked Raven with fear he would die a painful death. What was he to do now?!


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