Once Last Chance

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
No one knows what it feels like to be an outcast. To feel like you don’t fit in a society so perfect that people can tell you if you’re in or out. It’s time for me to officially be out of this revolting, sick, and judgmental world. There is no place for a girl like me here.

Submitted: March 27, 2011

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Submitted: March 27, 2011

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No one knows what it feels like to be an outcast. To feel like you don’t fit in a society so perfect that people can tell you if you’re in or out. It’s time for me to officially be out of this revolting, sick, and judgmental world. There is no place for a girl like me here.

The long brown rope was tied tightly around the clothing rod in my closet and a stool stood just under the noose of the rope. I stared at it, while sitting at my desk writing the last words of my suicide note. A lonely tear ran down my face as I secured the rope to my neck. I took one last deep breath and said, "God forgive me." Then I kicked the stool beneath me.

Slowly my mind started to numb. My breathing getting slower with each little breath I took. My eyelids started to shut slowly. My room looked fuzzy and blurry. Finally, the last I heard was a screaming in the distance.

I awakened in a huge area glowing with gold and white. The long brown rope hung down from my neck like a necklace, but it was no longer long. The end of the rope was cut off. All I saw was miles and miles of white walls with gold details. Then a man appeared in front of me. He stood about five feet eleven inches tall. He was wearing a white robe with a red colored rope tied around his waist. The curliness of his grey hair and beard reminded me of stormy, dark clouds in the night sky. Behind him appeared a large, abstract golden gate. I must be in heaven, I thought to myself. Saint Peter, Saint Peter is the person who is the gatekeeper of Heaven. That must be Saint Peter. He told me to follow him and I did as I was told. We walked along the white walls going away from the gate. Within a couple of minutes, we came to this gigantic door. I stood in front of the door for a couple of seconds not entering. When I turned around, Saint Peter said while pointing to the door, "Enter." Then he disappeared. I looked at the door again and slowly opened it, not knowing what was behind it. There, at the end of the room sat God, at least I think it was God. He sat at a large wooden desk with stacks of paperwork cluttering it. He was sitting up straight, writing something down in a leather covered organizer. He stopped writing and waved His hand at me signing to come in the room. I was mesmerized. I eventually came in and stood there awhile, just waiting for God to speak. When he didn’t, I decided to start something. "Ahem.."

"Don't waste your breath, I already know what you are going to say."

"Yeah, but.."

"But what? There should be no buts. Your life is precious. It was my gift to you, but you threw it away."

"But you don't understand how I felt. The pain I was going through. It was too much for me. You have to understand that. You are the one who put me in a world full of betrayal and deceit. My mom and dad are always fighting about the smallest things. My dad is always working late nights, which doesn't help the speculation of him cheating on my mother. They are soon going to file divorce papers. I definitely don't want to be there when that happens. That in itself tore my heart apart. My boyfriend cheated on me with my one true best friend. It was a horrible sight to see. The man I really, really like and maybe even love, kissing my very own best friend. On top of that, my school life was horrifying. No one ever talked to me. They pushed me around like a ragdoll. It even seemed my boyfriend didn't acknowledge me, like he didn't care for me. I walked the halls of the school as if I was a ghost. You see, you have to understand, my life is falling apart. I am all alone. No one will care if I am gone. No one loves me or cares for me. I can't handle this by myself."

"Yes, I understand, I understand clearly how much pain you went through. That doesn't mean to take your own life away. It was just a large obstacle in your life. Show that you are strong enough to get through this difficult time during your life. Show no mercy and keep your head held high and everything can only get better. Forget the past; it's behind you. Stay focused on the moment and the future you have before you. You are not alone; you have me. Pray to me for guidance, love, and all that will be better because I will always love you, care for you, and be there for you no matter what. I am always here for you. I love you."

Slowly my mind started to numb again. My eyelids were slowly fluttering shut. God's office began to fade away. That last thing I heard from God was a whisper, "You have one last chance." Those words reiterated over and over again in my head.

I fluttered my eyelids open. Soon, I clearly saw a swarm of people hovering over me. My head was throbbing with pain. At the other end of the bed, I saw my parents, together, crying their eyes out and praying to God. My mom looked up and saw me awake. She was overjoyed with tears. She quickly ran over to me and gave me a big tight hug. Her tears ran slowly down my checks. Then she said, "She's awake! I thought I was going to lose you. They said you might live, that I cut the rope just in time." I turned my head to the window and looked up into the sky, knowing what God did for me and knowing that it would change my life forever.


© Copyright 2020 RoseBlack. All rights reserved.

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