Rose In The Wind

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
After a car accident Megann discovers things she has yet to know herself....

Submitted: October 28, 2010

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Submitted: October 28, 2010

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Rose In The Wind
"You're beautiful." he says and a smile crosses his face. I smile back, knowing this is how it should be and this is what I love, even though it doesn't feel right.
The boy lying beside me is Ian. The way the moonlight hits his face is just perfect, outlining his sharp, and perfect, features--- high cheek bones, perfect nose, icy blue eyes, dark ruffled hair just barely hitting his eyes. I can't imagine what he sees in me. I'm slender, yes, but there is nothing about me that has a spark to it--- straight black hair, almost black eyes, pale skin--- and yet we're together lying on the roof of his house.
We've been together for two years, since 9th grade, and every time I see him my heart skip a beat. He says he feels the same way, but that's hard to believe---especially if you saw the way people look at us at school--- he's beautiful and I'm plain...
"Look," he says, bringing me back from my thoughts. He is pointing at something flying across the sky. A shooting star.
"A shooting star..." I say trailing off.
"I do believe so." says Ian.
We sit staring in silence as it passes over. It is so amazing how something so far away can be so beautiful. "It's amazing..." I say.
He turns to look at me. Staring at me he says, "Not as amazing as you." Then he smiles and stares into my eyes.
"Stop it!" I finally say.
"Stop what?..." He asks, puzzled, "Admiring you?"
"No, stop saying I'm 'beautiful and amazing' when you know it isn't true!" I whisper/shout.
"You are beau---"
"No just stop pretending you love me!" I almost shout cutting him off, "I can understand saying it to get in my pants, but you already accomplished that, so just stop pretending!"
"Trust me if I had just wanted you so I could get some action, I would have gotten someone else--- 'cuz you sure as hell wouldn't have let me for the first year---- and if that was the only reason I would have given up a long time ago, honey!" he is shouting now, "So don't just assume I am only with you to have sex! If I wanted sex I could've had a lot by now--- there are plenty of girls who want me!" he starts to quiet down, "Look, Megann, the first time I saw you, I knew you were the one I wanted, the way you looked had a.... a spark to it. I didn't know what it was, but I felt something, and from that day on I knew I had to....to have you. That's why I get defensive if you say something like that. Iloveyou. I don't know any other way to put it. It's more than love, there isn't even a word for it----I need you, I can't live without you?----those aren't even good enough, it's like you're a part of me and I don't ever want to be taken away from you. I know you feel it too...." he trails off.
We sit in silence for a moment. He stares thoughtfully up at the sky. Then he looks at me, smiles, then reaches his arms out to me and gently pulls me closer. He bends his head towards mine, his hair brushing my forehead. His lips touch mine, warm and gentle at first, then harder as I lean in more. The sensation is like ice against fire. I entwine my fingers in his hair, unknowingly, as we kiss, pushing myself against him. I can feel the heat of his body against mine. There is no space between us, then suddenly he pulls away and I realize I forgot to breathe, it was over too soon, and something feels like that kiss could have lasted forever....
After about another hour of gazing at the stars and talking Ian sits up.
"Come on I promised your mom you'd be back by eleven." He says.
"Aww, but I was enjoying this..."I frown a little but get up with him.
"That's okay we'll do it again soon," he says giving me a smile, "Besides it's cold out here." he shivers.
We climb off his roof and head off to his car, his arm around me.
***
I'm lost in thought when our song comes on. You by Framing Hanley. I turn up his iPod and we loudly sing along, smiling at each other.
".....'Cause I don't want to lose you. I was thinking about telling you I was in love, I was in love with you...you...with you...with you...I'm in love with you ..."
There is a flash of light, the world spins around me, I see Ian's face in my mind, hear his voice, then the world goes black....
***
"Sweetie? Sweetie? Are you awake?" The voice is coming from directly above me.
I don't know what to do, so I instinctively open my eyes. I don't recognize the room I'm in, but it looks something like a hospital room with plain white walls, a little television on the
wall, and some equipment next to my bed. This is for sure a hospital and the man standing over me confirms it when he says, "Now, Megann, I'm Dr. Allan and you're at Parkland Hospital in Dallas. Do you know what's going on?"
"Don't question her right now, she just woke up!" I recognize my mother's voice. She sounds stressed and worried, although I don't have any idea what's going on.
"Now ma'am it's crucial to see if she knows anything----"
"It's not crucial for you to do it, or for it to be done right now . If you want answers let me talk to her first." My mother cuts him off.
I strain to see my mother around the doctor, and the bright lights don't help much, I have to squint my eyes to see anything.
"Ma'am you at least need a doctor in the room to confirm everything."
"Okay well get me a damn doctor or stay in here yourself, but let me to the questioning!" My mom insists.
"Here is a list of things we need to find out." the doctor hands her a clipboard.
"No sir we are not going to go by this. I'm her mother and I know, better than you, what she should and shouldn't know!" with that she throws the clipboard on the little couch and takes a seat in the chair next to my bed.
I can see my mother's face more clearly now. She has dark circles under her eyes, and she probably hasn't eaten or showered for a few days, judging by her sunken in cheeks and tangled hair. She does not look well.
"Honey, how are you doing?" She asks, a concerned look on her face, though she is trying to hide it with a smile.
I open my mouth and find it hard to speak, after a moment I find my voice, "Fine, I guess," My voice is very raspy, I notice.
"Okay....Umm....Do you know where you are?"
"Well considering he," I gesture toward the doctor, "just told me, yeah I'm at Medical City Hospital of Dallas. I don't know why, though."
A very worried look crosses my mother's face and she frowns. She suddenly stands up and beckons the doctor out of the room. She closes the door as they leave.
I can't hear what they're talking about, so I just sit in silence for a moment, thinking... Ian! Where would he be? I would think he would be the one to stay up all night with me, but then again he may not have even really loved me....
My thoughts are broken as my mom walks in followed by a few other doctors, Dr. Allan included.
She gestures for the doctors to wait by the door then stands beside me.
"Now, honey, you said you don't know why you're here?" her tone is full of worry and she isn't trying to hide it.
"No, I don't," I answer with mixed emotions.
"Do you know who you are?"
"Yes, I'm Megann Thomas, and you're my mother," I answer.
"Do you know what day it is?" She asks.
"I don't know the specific date, but last I can remember it was November of 2009."
She turns to the doctors and they whisper something, then they step into the hall and a moment later my mom and Dr. Allan come back in. They look slightly relieved, but still worried.
Dr. Allan comes to stand beside my bed. He is a tall man, I can tell, with dark eyes and a shaved head. "We ran some tests while you were unconscious and we are waiting on the results. While we wait for those results, would it be okay if I asked you a few questions?" He looks at my mom, then back at me, "Alone?"
"Sure. I guess I can't refuse, can I?"
Dr. Allan looks at my mother, and then she leaves, closing the door behind her.
Dr. Allan takes a seat and proceeds to ask me questions, "First of all, are you allergic to anything?"
"Not that I know of," I reply, a little agitated that they have yet to tell me what's going on.
"Have you had sexual intercourse, and if so when?" He asks after writing something down on his clipboard.
"Look, Doctor, just get to the point already! I don't like having to go through all this bullshit." I spit the words at him, very agitated, "You don't need to know that kind of personal information."
"Okay, then. Is there any chance you might be pregnant?" he asks, obviously annoyed by my remark.
"The last--- and first--- time I had sex was about 3 months ago. Wouldn't I be fat right now?"
"Not necessarily, you wouldn't start showing until about now, so you could be." He answers, "We already tested you, but the results haven't come yet, though they should soon."
"Okay. Can I ask you something?" I ask.
"Sure what is it?"
"Why am I here?"
"Uhh..." He seems unsure of himself, then he lets out a sigh, "You were in a car accident..."
"Do you know how it happened?" I ask, quite shocked.
"I don't think I should say more, your mother will want to tell you---"
There is a knock on the door, cutting him off, and then one of the nurses, who was in earlier, walks in. I catch a glimpse of my mom peering through before the nurse closes the door.
"Are those the results?" Dr. Allan asks, gesturing toward the folder in her hand.
She nods her head. Dr. Allan stands up and walks to her. She hands him the results and leaves.
Dr. Allan reads the results, then starts toward the door.
"Anything that is in that folder is about me, therefore I can know and I demand to know first!" I say through gritted teeth. It comes out as almost a growl.
He turns to me, "Okay, no need to get angry. Here you go." He tosses the folder onto the bed.
I open it, but the only thing I can understand is information about me, "What does it mean?"
"You really want to know?" he asks with a smirk.
I roll my eyes, "Naw I just wanted you to deny me and lie," I say with sarcasm, "Yeah I really want to know."
"You're pregnant." With that he left the room.
***
Ian's point of view
"You're beautiful," I say trying to cheer her up some.
We are lying on my roof gazing at the stars. Right now I'm gazing at her. She looks absolutely amazing , with her dark hair, dark eyes , slender features.
She's looked amazing since the day we met, even when she was sick, or having a bad day, she is always beautiful.
I don't know if it's just me, but something about her draws me in. If you separate us for too long it's like a heroin addict being withdrawn, I get sick and long for more of her, but with a heroin addict they can get detached, whereas I will never get detached from her, I don't think it's even possible...
I see what I've been looking for, a shooting star.
"Look," I say, letting Megann know, she seemed to be staring at me as well.
"A shooting star," she says in her beautiful voice.
"I do believe so," I say in an informing way.
I am lost in the wonder of the star when Megann says, "It's amazing..."
I turn to look at her, "Not as amazing as you," I say staring into her eyes... I can't help but smile.
"Stop it!" she yells wiping the smile off of my face.
"Stop what?..." I ask confused because I thought she felt the same way about me, "Admiring you?"
"No, stop saying I'm 'beautiful and amazing' when you know it's not true!" She shouts at me. I couldn't believe what she was saying.
"You are beau---"
"No just stop pretendingyou love me!" she cuts me off, "I can understand saying it to get in my pants, but you already accomplished that, so just stop pretending!" This infuriates me and I lose my cool...
"Trust me if I had just wanted you so I could get some action, I would have gotten someone else--- 'cuz you sure as hell wouldn't have let me for the first year---- and if that was the only reason I would have given up a long time ago, honey!"I start shouting unable to control myself, "So don't just assume I am only with you to have sex! If I wanted sex I could've had a lot by now--- there are plenty of girls who want me!"I start calming down know this will be hurting her, "Look, Megann, the first time I saw you, I knew you were the one I wanted, the way you looked had a.... a spark to it. I didn't know what it was, but I felt something, and from that day on I knew I had to....to have you. That's why I get defensive if you say something like that. Iloveyou. I don't know any other way to put it. It's more than love, there isn't even a word for it----I need you, I can't live without you?----those aren't even good enough, it's like you're a part of me and I don't ever want to be taken away from you. I know you feel it too...." I trail off knowing what I have said should get through her head if she really loves me as well.
We sit in silence for a moment as I try to take in what I just said. Then I do what I know will make her happy...I look into her eyes and smile, then I pull her closer, leaning my head towards her. My lips touch hers and I can feel the chemistry between us. I can't help but force my lips on hers as we lean in together. Our bodies are so close you couldn't put a piece of paper between us. Then
I hear a noise and pull away, her hands letting go of the strong hold she had of my hair. I know that kiss could have lasted longer, without needing to breathe, but something is giving me a feeling this night isn't going to end well and I can't shake the feeling away, something is off but it isn't our love.... is it?.....
We gaze at the stars some more and talk for about an hour, but I feel too uneasy and I need to get her home safe and sound.
"Come on I promised your mom you'd be back by eleven." I say, even though that isn't the full reason I want her home, but I try to hide my worry.
"Aww, but I was enjoying this..." She frowns at me, but I know she isn't one to put up a fight for something like this.
"That's okay we'll do it again soon," I say reassuring her, and I smile, "Besides it's cold out here." I dramatically shiver.
I put my arm around her and we climb off of my roof and head for my car.
***
I'm worrying about this feeling I have when our song comes on. You by Framing Hanley, the first song I ever played for her. She turns it up and we start singing along loudly, we smile at each other.
".....'Cause I don't want to lose you. I was thinking about telling you I was in love, I was in love with you...you...with you...with you...I'm in love with you ..."
There isn't even a second before I realize there is a truck coming at us from the side. I grab her hand and yell, "I love you!" before we are hit and my world comes to an end...
***
My eyes have to adjust to the harsh light before I can take in my surroundings. I am in an unfamiliar setting, it seems to be a living space? I am on the couch under some old blanket. The room looks like an old cabin room, with pictures of an unfamiliar family and warm welcoming furniture, the room smells of breakfast food and I can see a kitchen not too far away and what looks to be a lady cooking food. There is an old dog lying on the floor staring at me. The lady starts to move around more, so I decide to pretend I am asleep, hoping I can figure out some things peacefully in my own head.
Then the thoughts start coming in. Where am I? What am I doing here? Who is this lady? Are there any other people? How did I get here? What is happening? Am I hurt? None of these questions can be answered in my own head, then I realize one question that is most crucial... Who am I? With that question unanswerable I decide to drift off into a deep sleep hoping when I wake up I might know some of these answers... But the dream just makes it even more blurry for me...
***
There is a beautiful girl lying next to me, smiling, I reach out to her but she is pulled back with an uncontrolled flash of a light. Next, I am sitting on the floor in an unknown house calling a child, he comes and I coddle him. Then the child is replaced by a pair of hands, the hands belong to the same beautiful girl I was just with. We are standing at an altar and she looks stunning in her wedding dress. As I lean in to kiss her she is taken away again and I am sitting on the same couch in the cabin, except the room looks slightly different. I start to walk to the door where the lady is talking to somebody. She is talking to the same girl and child as I just saw. I try to get a better view, but she shoves me back and slams the door in the girl's face. This angers me, I start to yell at the lady. She tries to calm me down, but this only frustrates me more. I run to the kitchen and grab the first knife I see. I start towards her, knife up and aiming for her, she shies away. I bring the knife down, hard...
***
I wake with a start, sitting straight up. I then notice the pain shoot up my spine and lie back down. I am sweating and panting hard. That is when I notice the lady sitting in a rocking chair across the room. She is sleeping, but the dog wakes her when it barks at her feet, noticing me I guess. She wakes with a jolt and notices the scene.
"Oh darling you're awake." She says right away, seeming relieved.
"Yeah...?" I say noticing my voice is very hoarse and sore, it is hard to talk.
"Oh you don't need to say anything. Let me make you something to eat you must be starving." Now I can feel the emptiness in my stomach.
"I guess I will just make you everything we have since I don't know exactly what you are interested in, and you don't need to be talking very much at this time. Besides your taste buds are probably all weird now, after the crash in all." Crash, what crash? "You'll just have to relearn what you like and don't like of my cooking." She smiles at me.
"Umm... Ma'am there are a lot of unanswered questions I have and I really want the answers..." I say, pushing my voice as far as it can go.
"Here let me get you some water, then we can talk," She pours some water into a glass and brings it to me. I sit up, slowly, to drink. "Well... Hmm.... Let me make you something first and then we'll get to some 'splainin. What do you want? Some eggs and toast or bacon maybe? I'll go through everything we have... We have eggs, bacon, bread, for toast, pancake mix, milk.... Umm... well I mainly eat breakfast things so that is all we have for now but I will go get some more "real" food from the store here in a little bit, but for right now that is all we have... Sorry..." She says a little disappointed that she can't please me.
"Well all of that sounds good to me..." I say, "What time is it?"
"Well then I'll get started, it's three fifteen p.m. Why?"
"I just wanted to know how long I have been asleep.." I say.
"Well you been sleeping longer than that. Shoot, it's been like 5 days..." She says with a thick country accent.
"Oh..." I say.
"Yeah, well you need the rest that was a pretty bad accident you were in," She says while cooking my food, "You see, you broke your arm, but I got the best medical help from my good friend, who is a doctor by the way."
I look and realize my left arm is in a cast and it hurts to move.
"Yeah, Doc says it was a pretty bad crash and he didn't see how a deer could cause so much damage, but he said it shouldn't take long to heal." She sees that I am not in much shape to be listening and I won't pay much attention until I'm fed, so she decides to please herself by whistling, which causes me to dose off long enough for her to finish cooking.
I awake to the lady standing over me with a plate of food.
"Usually you would eat at the table, but since you're hurt you can eat here." She says with a smile.
"Thank you." I manage.
I sit up and eat my array of eggs, bacon, toast, biscuits, and pancakes. She also gives me some milk and orange juice to help with nutrition.
"So you say you have some questions? Well I'd be glad to answer them if you would like to talk after you finish eating." She says offering a smile.
I nod and finish eating my breakfast. It was filling, but I still feel some empty void that I cannot identify...
"So you finished eating now?" She says collecting my plate.
"Yes... Can you answer my questions now?" I ask politely.
"Sure thing honey I was just about to bring that up too." She says with another warm smile.
She puts my plate in the sink and sits down in her rocking chair, the dog following her and sitting at her feet, "So what are your questions?"
"Well... I'm just going to say the question that is killing me... Who am I?" I ask.
She gasps a little, "Why dear you forgot who you are? Why you're my son, Rusty RayHart." She frowns a little, "Well I guess that was a pretty bad accident so you must not know much..."
What kind of name is Rusty Hart? I think to myself.
"Yeah about that can you tell me about the accident?" I ask curious for the answer.
"Well, let's see, where to start. Hmm.... Well it was November 17, 2009. You were driving home from the grocery store. It was about ten at night. You were right outside the drive when it happened. A deer jumped in front of the car and you tried to swerve so you wouldn't hit it, which caused you to hit the big oak tree in front of the drive. The car got all smashed up and it hit on the driver's side so that's why you got hurt so badly. I heard the noise and rushed out real quick, you were still conscious and I called the doctor. He came as fast as he could and gave me medicine to make you sleep. He bandaged you up and you should be better soon." She says with a worried smile.
"So I was asleep for five days?" I ask questioning.
"Yes, the doc gave me the medicine and told me to give it to you with some food every time you woke up until it was all gone, so I did and now it is all gone and you're awake." She says with another warm smile.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but the story is bringing up my suspicion. It doesn't seem real enough and this lady doesn't seem like she is really "my mom". I decide to go with it because I don't know anything else and for right now it's good enough.

"So... Who are you?" I ask still not knowing the complete answer.

"I'm your mama. Well I guess technically I'm just your adoptive mom, but you've been calling me mama since you were about two years old."

"About two?" I ask not knowing what she meant by that.

"Yea, well, we adopted you I guess and no one knew exactly how old you were so we went with what you were telling us and what the doctor approximated." She says with a half- frown.

"How exactly was I adopted?" I ask .

"Well now that's a whole other story. See I was just getting back from the doctor's office cause I wanted a baby and I couldn't have one because something is wrong with my reproductive organs... Anyway I was pulling into the drive, when this lady comes pulling up behind me from the main road. I didn't know who she was so I was curious. So I got out of my car right away and she got out and went around to the other side of her car. By this time I was calling for her and when she came back around she had this little boy in her arms. So I was kind of freaking out because she wasn't really responding to me. Since I didn't know what to do I just sort of stood there staring. She walked over to me and hands me this little boy. I was in shock a little, but not enough to question her some more. Then she walked back to her car and started getting baby stuff out of it and just setting it in front of me. I kept trying to get her attention like, 'Ma'am what are you doing?' and, 'Who are you?' I almost started yelling at her, but I kept my cool. When she was threw with stuff to give me she got in her car and drove off without ever saying a word. I never saw her again..." she says with a questioned look on her face, "So I really didn't know what to do with you but I just went with motherly instincts and kept you and raised you like you was my own. I went to the doctor later to find out anything I needed to know, like your age and stuff, but he couldn't help me that much. So I named you myself, since you didn't seem to know if you had a name." she says that with a little chuckle, "It was just meant to be, I reckon."

***

Megan's Point of View

Oh. My. God. What the hell am I going to do? I think to myself when I hear the news. I am in too much shock to breathe. Breathe. Breathe. The world isn't going to end. I'm able to relax myself enough to calm down and think over everything. It should be all right I have a mom who will help me and a loving boyfriend-- Ian. I completely forgot about him. What happened to him? He was in the car accident too, right? Where did he go? Is he dead and they just haven't told me because I haven't asked? MOM!!! DOCTOR!!! SOMBODY!!! I shout hoping for some answers.


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