Strands of Life

Strands of Life

By Royee

I don’t know what it is. It was just there. It appears and disappears all the time. Though, I’m the only one in that room when it happens. I know it’s after something but I don’t know what it wants. It always keeps getting closer and closer when it appears. I can’t take it anymore so please help me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

He came in. This was the most anxious patient I have ever seen. I don’t know what he was saying just that words were coming out. His hair was brown and messy you could see that he was scratching himself constantly like he didn’t get his daily dose of a drug. He just couldn’t be still and kept talking and talking imagining about another world in a different dimension.

What am I? I’m just alive or am I dead? I don’t know what I am. I sometimes see flashes of someone though I don’t know who it is. All I know is that we have a connection somehow. Somehow even though I don’t know if- What am I? I’m just alive or am I dead. I don’t know what I am. I sometimes see flashes of someone though I don’t know who it is. All I know is that we have a connection somehow.

I’ve met with him a few times every time he seems to lose his sense of sanity more and more. I can’t tell what he is thinking. This is the first time I’m having a problem reading a patient. He always talks about this thing. He doesn’t know what it is but he knows it isn’t real while it exists no matter how much he tries to do something. In our last meeting he said it definitely got bigger though he doesn’t know why. I believe he will stay here forever.

Why am I here? I seem to have gotten bigger why this is interesting. I wonder what this means. Could my purpose of existence almost be over, I wonder. I see him all the time now though in a room of complete darkness. Almost as if I’m in his- Why am I here? I seem to have gotten bigger why this is interesting.

I keep seeing him day after day. This is the first time it has happened to me. Recently he seems to have grown in size. Even after all these years of seeing him why now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just come and talk to you and I know you don’t believe me. You’re a doctor you should have an explanation for this. Please just give me an explanation. I can’t take this anymore I am going to go insane.

Hmm. This is interesting. I seem to be getting bigger even now. I seem to have appeared in a room this time He doesn’t see me that’s interesting. Why am I in a room? Why is this not a flash of him? Is this a result of me getting bigger? Hmm. This has to be it I wonder what is going to happen from here on out. I might get to- Hmm. This is interesting I seem to be getting bigger even now. I seem to have appeared in a room this time he doesn’t see me that’s interesting.

I don’t see him anymore so I believe it was just an illusion. You might say I’m cured though this has happened before. I see him and then he disappears for a while and then reappears though I don’t know why. Though, right now he stopped so I’m fine so can I go back home.

“No you cannot”

“Why”

“You said yourself the thing will come back”

“Honey are you ok”

“Yes I got this patient that has me worried”

“How’s he like”

“I can’t tell you everything. Though, he has this aura to him that no matter what he says he believes. He is dangerous for that one reason I don’t know why he does it. Though, every time I see him he seems a bit more insane which makes me have no way to treat him. His personality isn’t consistent which the problem is. I think this is the first patient I have to give up on.”

“You must give–“

 What? Oh, that’s right I’m still stuck here. I can’t leave the hell that I’m in. It doesn’t matter what I do now. I should just act crazy so I’ll have a reason to stay here. Having to ask when I can do something being under constant watch. Having absolutely no thought to myself. Though, I’m worried about my dreams now he will come back I know it.

Up. I feel like I’m living now though I can’t be sure because I feel like I’m being watched. I could still be dead I wonder what is going on. I live a day in a world of darkness and a day in the world of light. I don’t see the difference between them everything is as it is the day before. The only thing is the darkness and the light of the world. Yet I’m not sure- You must give up I feel like I’m living now though I can’t be sure because I feel like I’m being watched. I could still be dead I wonder what is going on.

He has been here for a year yet nothing has changed. The only thing that has was he doesn’t see it anymore after the first month. Now he calls this his hell and wants to get out. I should let him leave because he seems to be sane now. Though, I feel like if he leaves he will come back to see me or hurt someone. I only see him once a week now though I have a feeling I need to see him more now.

Wow! What’s that word? Have I grown smarter also? I’m amazed? Whatever is going on it’s doing so much more for me. I’m only in the world of darkness a few times now. I seem to prefer it though it suits me for I like the feeling of death more than the feeling of life. Though, the man can see me at all I don’t know what to do. I thought he- Wow! What’s that word? Have I grown smarter also? I’m amazed? Whatever is going on it’s doing so much more for me.

I have been hearing him in my head recently. He says he can see it again. He says usually it doesn’t appear for few years before is shows up again. He said this is the quickest it came back. He also said it seems different now like it is ready to strike one final time I don’t know what to do with him anymore. His personality keeps changing again I feel like if I let him go it would have been better. Something has changed in my life because of him. He’s a lost cause now I just need to deal with that.

I see it again it has changed. This happened too fast this time is seems as though he is smarter. Luckily he still hasn’t seen me. I feel like it is moving on to the next person. I will finally be free hopefully I don’t have to see it ever again. I don’t why I have an uneasy feeling about it I know it is up to something. Yet I can’t put my finger on it. This hell though doesn’t let me search for it. I have to stay locked up no matter what.

I can’t do this anymore I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m insane because of him. I hear him in my dreams I hear him at home. I always hear him I don’t know what to do anymore. I guess this will be the last time seeing him.

What is this? Oh another meeting with the one who sees me. I better follow him so I can meet him finally. I wonder what it will be like. I seem to have grown bigger. I seem to have gotten to only live in the world of light. I seem to have gotten smarter. I now definitely know I’m alive and not dead.

I need to get out of here. The only way I can think of is saying I don’t see him anymore. I don’t know if it will be believable. I keep saying I see it every time I talk to him I guess I deserve to be stuck here.

“Time to go”

“Can you give me a second?”

“You have a minute to get ready”

How long have I been here? I barely feel the sun hitting me. I don’t know if this is a dream or real life.  Should I just believe this should I not? Is this my own version of hell? I don’t know what I am anymore somebody save me.

“I’m ready”

I guess I have to tell him to come in. Should I let him go?

 “We’re here, Doctor Open up”

I might be the one who is insane? Why have I seen him for so long? I should have let him go a long time ago. I guess I have to give up on my first patient.

“How are you doing?”

“Very good, I don’t see him anymore”

“Well that’s interesting. Did anything happen.”

“No I guess I’m cured”

“No you’re not you still see me”

“Did you say something?”

“No doctor”

“So he can hear me that’s interesting”

“Doctor are you ok”

“Yes, I probably just imagined it”

“No you’re not”

“Doctor I can’t do this he is right behind you”

“What?”

“The thing is right behind you”

“Why is this so interesting?”

“He is saying things though I can’t hear him”

“That means I’ve been hearing him.”

“Why yes you have”

“That means we’re both crazy”

“NO it means that it’s real”

“YOU’RE wrong this thing is not real”

“He is coming closer to you believe me for once”

“NOW I KNOW WHY I EXIST”

“WHY DO YOU EXIST”

“I EXIST TO KILL YOU”

“DOCTOR HE IS GOING TO STRANGLE YOU”

“I can’t breathe”

“LET ME OUT OF HERE”

“Oh he stopped moving”

“WHY ARE YOU BIGGER?”

“You can see me so this will be harder.”

“LET ME OUT”

“What’s wrong you called this a hell didn’t you?”

“I can’t breathe”

“Oh he stopped moving”

What is my purpose in life now? I think it is over? What should I do? I seem to be getting smaller. I wonder why? Is this what death feels like? I wonder why I even existed. I should have never even been alive. I wonder what will happen to me. Well hopefully my li- What is my purpose in life now? I think it is over?

What am I? I’m just alive or am I dead. I don’t know what I am. I sometimes see flashes of someone though I don’t know who it is. All I know is that we have a connection somehow. Somehow even though I don’t know if- What am I? I’m just alive or am I dead. I don’t know what I am. I sometimes see flashes of someone though I don’t know who it is. All I know is that we have a connection somehow.